I'm so ashamed...

Nurses New Nurse

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I'm so ashamed, I can't sleep, eat or think of anything else. I'm a new RN, passed my boards in July and have been working nights since. I started that night on the wrong foot taking that room in the first place, B bed was my son-in-law's father, I'm not even sure the policy on taking people I know, I just knew he would be more comfortable with a familiar face. But that's not the problem, the gentleman in A bed was suffering from ETOH W/D, had a seizure that I witnessed near the end of my shift, and what did I do? nothing, tucked him in and left the room. That is so out of character for me (or so I thought). I was faced with a crisis, I did not know what to do, so instead of asking for help, I ignored it! My stomach is flipping thinking about it. Maybe hospital nursing isn't for me, maybe LTC is so I can send them to a hospital when thing happen. Maybe it's the shift, I am not myself at home either, not smiling, being grouchy. I just don't know. I do not trust myself right now. :crying2: Any advice??

I'm so ashamed, I can't sleep, eat or think of anything else. I'm a new RN, passed my boards in July and have been working nights since. I started that night on the wrong foot taking that room in the first place, B bed was my son-in-law's father, I'm not even sure the policy on taking people I know, I just knew he would be more comfortable with a familiar face. But that's not the problem, the gentleman in A bed was suffering from ETOH W/D, had a seizure that I witnessed near the end of my shift, and what did I do? nothing, tucked him in and left the room. That is so out of character for me (or so I thought). I was faced with a crisis, I did not know what to do, so instead of asking for help, I ignored it! My stomach is flipping thinking about it. Maybe hospital nursing isn't for me, maybe LTC is so I can send them to a hospital when thing happen. Maybe it's the shift, I am not myself at home either, not smiling, being grouchy. I just don't know. I do not trust myself right now. :crying2: Any advice??

Listen, you are new and are still grasping what your role as a nurse entails. It's pretty simple, when you boil it down. Keep your patient safe and report any changes to the Doctor. Of course we do other things, but those two will guide you through the rest of it. Don't get scared when something goes bad with a patient...what do you do? Keep him safe and call and ask what the Doctor wants you to do. Seizure precautions and a phone call to the Doc. would have been a wise choice in your case, but don't beat your self up about it. Chest Pain...(if there are no standing orders) slap a bp cuff on him and call the doctor otherwise, follow the protocol for your floor (EKG, nitro, etc). Patient starts vomitting blood....give him an emesis basin, take his vitals and call the doc. Patient falls and busts his head on the floor. Get him back in bed, assess the wound (apply pressure) and call the doc. PATIENT STOPS BREATHING.....ABCs and code team. I'm trying to throw out horrible scenerios here to illustrate my point. Don't let fear prevent you from taking care of your patient. When something horrible happens, take a few deep breaths and think for a minute. I've been a nurse for ten years and the other day a patient passed out on me while she was on the toilet. I may have been calm on the outside but my innards were doing the panic dance. I took a deep breath, got her back to bed (with help) and called the doctor. He gave orders and all ended up well. A patient going bad will always be unsettling. I think that is normal. But, do learn your unit's standing orders since they allow you to intervene with meds/tests, etc prior to calling the doc.

Really in my post I was addressing anyone reading this and formulating an opinion. I realize this person is a new nurse, but she is still a NURSE. And yes, I would think a doctor would be subject to the same blame. The fact that she is in fact a nurse means that she has gone through nursing school and clinicals. She was responsible for providing care. This wasn't forgetting to give someone a tylenol, this was facing a life-threatening (because yes, people can AND DO die from their first DT seizure, that is the reason for hospitilization, at the very least the clenched teeth might have broken and occluded the airway) situation and instead of reacting to it, instead of finding someone CAPABLE of reacting to it, she closed the door and told noone, leaving the patient to whatever his fate may be. This leads me to believe that she cares more about appearing to be capable than she does about the life of her patient. I hope she has the guts to come forward with this, and if she doesn't, I hope the other patient in the room is lucid enough to call for help for his roommate and report her negligence, and I hope that she suffers the consequences. We are nto talking about a simple med error or not reporting a med omission. We are talking about gross negligence. Next time it could be a code. This nurse needs to get off the floor until she is able to react to emergency situations rather than abandoning her patient.

And how is taking her out of the fire going to make her more competent in handling emergent situations? She can't go back and change what she did and many of the responses in this thread are trying to do just that. She knows she did something wrong and aside from taking her out in the parking lot and beating the tar out of her, I don't think there is anything we can do about it. She was overwhelmed because she didn't know what to do. It was her first crisis and she froze. Yes leaving the patient = bad choice, but what made her leave the patient in the first place is probably what should be the focus here since we are here to help one another and not to be self-righteous finger pointers. And my advice on admitting it to management (I'm sure I will get a lot of flack for this) is NO! You could lose your license. The DON may even be required to report you to the board even if she doesn't want to. The fact is, a patient was abandoned. There is no getting around it. Now live and learn. This is no place for the timid. ENGAGE MAVERICK!....(haha I love that movie) and do what you were taught to do.

Re: Post by Daytonite:

I'm just a student but I'm wondering- is this what they mean by nurses eating their young??

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Re: Post by Daytonite:

I'm just a student but I'm wondering- is this what they mean by nurses eating their young??

Not really, no. There are some--not a lot, but some--who'll tear someone down over trivial crap, or personalities, or something completely not job-related. There are a few in the world who want others to fail. That's "eating their young."

Daytonight was harsh. IMHO harsher than necessary. But this is a harsh business. While I felt, and still feel, all the empathy in the world for Almed, I have to agree with others who've said, this can't happen again. Not that I think it will.

Specializes in Neuro ICU, Neuro/Trauma stepdown.
get to the root of what caused it to happen and move forward. Many new grad RNs "freeze" when faced with an emergent situation because even though they have learned about this very subject in school, they have never had to apply the skill in "real life".

as a new grad that hasn't even tested yet, all of this is invaluable to me.

yet my first thought when reading the OP and even after everyones responses, i still wonder if the root is that this happened at the end of the shift. he was tired, ready to go and didn't care to do the follow up, thinking day shift would take care of it. and they did after another seizure-one that could have been prevented.

Specializes in DDA / LTC / Oncology.

Don't be ashamed.......! I am a 14 month nurse with the same fears and concerns about myself. It's not always easy to find someone to trust and ask for help.

You learned from that experience ... there will be more!

Specializes in Trauma ICU, MICU/SICU.

Before y'all rip on each other... keep in mind this original post is from almost a year ago. It's been argued pretty well... Perhaps we shouln't re-hash it.

Specializes in Critical Care, Cardiothoracics, VADs.

What I found helpful starting out was carry around a notebook, and ANY TIME you find yourself in an unfamiliar situation/med/condition etc write it down, take it home, and look it up.

I think the finger pointers, particularly Daytonite, are what is wrong with nursing. We all make mistakes. I'd be worried if she hadn't come here, mea culpa, admitted her mistake, asked for help. But she did.

Why don't we support each other? How else is a new nurse to learn? People panic and forget their training in any number of situations. Who knows what was going through her head? Of course it was unsafe, but there is a whole hospital full of nurses there, so it's not like noone could have helped if the situation became emergent.

I am sure I am not being eloquent as I am so angry after reading this thread. I do not wish to minimize the error both in action and judgement, as patient safety must be of paramount importance, and I'm sure that is what is guiding Daytonite's remarks.

But this "profession" will never be a profession until we support each other, and teach rather than taunt. How can we care so much for patients and so little for each other?

guys? the person who wrote this original worry did so in november of 2005....i think she's moved on :)

yeah probably find a new profession, what if somebody neglected your father in law in the other bed? thats not fair

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! I agree with you. I'm not saying that what she done was right, but she beat herself up enough. And, who are we to cast the first stone when we've probably done stupid things too????? My advice would be, no matter how serious the situation......always notify someone of the incident....even if you're not sure of yourself....because our oath in nursing is to advocate for the patient. Let it be a lesson learned and put measures into place so you will be better prepared next time.

WHERE WAS YOUR PRECEPTOR? I know how you would feel.

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