First Nursing job, and I drowned!

Nurses New Nurse

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Hello everyone,

I am so stressed, I finally was hired as a new nurse, and fired after only 3 months :crying2:

I have been through hell, I went thru a divorce while in nursing school, chemo & radiation for cancer, and now I am feeling totally worthless, and am not sure if I am cut out to be a nurse?

Here was my situation, please point out where I slipped?

I was hired at a skilled nursing facility/nursing home, and was given 3 days out of an 8 day orientation period and put on the floor early due to shortage. I worked second shift, and had to come in a half an hour early for the weekly mandatory meeting. I was supposed to be on the floor by two, after report, and be ready to pass meds by 2:30. I worked the skilled until dealing with pt's the facility had never taken on before; there were 3 tube feeding, wounds, pt's on rounds the clock narc's, ect ... pt's that needed a lot of time sensitive care.

Our meeting went 3 hrs late, I wasn't allowed to start my shift until 5:30, all my feeding were behind, and when I was finally able to get out on the floor I was told I was the only nurse on both wings, with no med aide, and to top it off I had two new admits! I was very stressed, this was a huge load. I asked the ADON for help, and she said no she had to go pick out her wedding music.

I pulled out both meds carts, and passed meds priority first instead of one hall after another. I know this probably wasn't the best way to handle the shift, but I had tube feeding, and time sensitive meds that were already late, and as a new new nurse w/o experience that's what seemed right to do? I also had skin skeets that had to be done asap on our new admits & they both were on coumadin & covered head to toe with bruises!

Long story short I made a few med errors, and was devastated with myself. I was drowning with out a life boat to save me! I look back at the situation, and did the best I could, but still feel terrible. I was fired for med errors, but the DON said to still use her as a reference, that I was a very compassionate nurse, and every one liked me.

I need to get my confidence back and start applying for new jobs,My question is what to put on my applications now? I only worked there 3 months?

Thank you for listening.....

J

Specializes in PACU, CARDIAC ICU, TRAUMA, SICU, LTC.

You most probably are having difficulty "seeing the forest from the trees" right now. My God, you have such courage and strength; you did not give up despite a divorce and cancer treatment. You will get through this as well; that strength you have is just taking a nap. Give yourself some time; you deserve it.

I work in LTC, and I know for a fact that there would have been absolutely no way in hell I could have possibly completed such an impossible assignment!

Bless you! :redbeathe

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Thanks so much to all that have replied, such great support! I have a job interview on Friday with a home health agency, and was re-hired with Mollen for flu season next month. So am am picking up the pieces and moving on with new confidence that I did the best i could, learned some valuable lessons, and will become even a better nurse :nurse:

Thank you again, It really means alot!!! :)

Jen

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Specializes in CVICU, Obs/Gyn, Derm, NICU.

All the best ....you have a great attitude that will serve you well ;)

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Not all LTCs are understaffed nor do all LTCs provide inadequate care.

Try finding a job as a new grad RN or LPN in this economy. We have little choice in where we can find a job. We take what we can get to pay the bills and hope for the best.

LTC experience is better than no experience.

Its a matter of finding the right LTC to work in.

I agree, not all are understaffed or give poor care. But in my area, most of them are in bad shape. The only good LTC in my area, are owned by the hospital or extremely expensive. Then again, that could just be my bitterness from working in EMS and having to go into those LTC facilities. :(

And I understand having to take whatever job you can get. LTC is better than no experience.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Specialty Infusions.

Count yourself lucky that you are out of that place. They did you a favor. Keep plugging, something just right will come your way. Remember the old, "When one door closes, another opens"? I think this applies.

The place was unsafe and they gave you a mountain to climb.....I bet there is not one nurse out there that would not have made some sort of mistake/error in your shoes that night.

You are not alone, my prayers are with you.

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Don't sweat it and DONT beat yourself up! Everyone of us when we first started had much the same issues at one time or another. Facilities often do this because they know that nurses are "service oriented" individuals and so a nurse with go to the extreme for their patients (even working unsafely and like a dog to try and meet the needs of each individual patient.) Most important thing to learn is this. Your license is your license. The state giveth and the state can taketh away!!! Protect your license at ALL costs..Even at the risk of your job...Don't let anyone encourage you to do anything that you know is NOT safe. In a court of law you and ONLY you are responsible for any decision that you make. The facility will NOT come to your aid and you will quickly learn what the rest of us know..."When the crap hits the fan, it's every man for himself..."

Good luck,

yarmada

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Change the people and not the system-are the mistakes going to stop? You were overwhelmed, the system failed you. I am not discounting personal accountability but research shows that even good nurses make big errors if the sytem fails -technology, inadequate staffing, lack of support from the management and bullying it all impacts performance and morale of the staff. The result is bad pt. care. So DON can get somebody else in your place but if things do not change in her organization mistakes will happen again.

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Specializes in public health, hospice.

What can I say that hasn't been already said????? You appear to be an excellent and caring nurse/person, asked for help and was refused (due to wedding pictures???? - boy, that's info that you could use in your defense!) Like everyone said - be thankful that you're out of that facility, grab a letter of reference and if it's not written well enough don't be shy about requesting a better, more detailed one - the DON is aware of the ADON's story/explanation and is feeling very guilty, you can count on it!! Don't give up on a profession that will eventually be the most rewarding of your life - from the sensitivity your showed during your time of crisis - both personal and on the floor - you were made to be a nurse!!!! Move forward and don't look back, things will only get better from now on!! :hug:

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Specializes in Med Surg, Homecare, Hospice, Rehab.

You were set up to fail, as has been stated. I speak from experience as an agency nurse who had only promised to be there (LTC) for 3 days. Each 3-11 shift had less coverage than the night before. Had I taken the 4th night, as asked, I would have been where you were.

What you experienced was not Nursing, but Politics. You were "Scape-Goated".

You have received good advice from your peers - advice gained from experience you did not have. (Like my first week in RVN. You THINK you know what you will do when you get shot at - but don't until it really happens).

As your peers (I am now Retired - PTL - so I have said the ones still in the slots are your peers) have said, you must take care of yourself as well. I have been blind-sided by people trying to cover-up their wrongs. Fortunately I had good backup: A good physician and a couple of Really Good nurses.

The fact that you said you were "rehired for the FLU SEASON" should tell you something:

A: Get your Flu Shot early as you can.

B: Don't go in "blind" -aka- Hello, you will be short-staffed again, but wiser. . . .

C: Keep this group with you - they sound like a wise group.

D: Stand your ground with management,assertively, when you truly believe you are right, and with the proper tact.

E: Call for help when your situation is unsafe for your patients as well as for your license - Do you have your own Liability Policy? Facilities' policies are worthless on your behalf (no I am not plugging any, but I have mine as well as my License even in retirement. I could get a call or "a wild hair" (an Army thing . . . ).)

Good Luck to you,and always think of yourself first - (Can I provide Safe Nursing Safely?) If not - make some noise.

Remember: if they "take you out, how will you help anyone? Hmmmm.

Wisdom begets Nobility - rarely vice versa - too painful, as you have discovered.

PS: Please get good counseling support from somewhere, your Holmes and Rahe score is almost off the scale.

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Wow, I am also a new nurse (second career) and I have just begun searching for the nursing job that "clicks" with me. I tried a doctor's office (too clerical), and now I am in long term care at a skilled nursing facility. I am in my third week of orientation. I can perform the med pass (26 residents, heavy, non-stop) but I have yet to incorporate the treatments. I work 3 to 11 and there is no nurse manager or supervisor on my floor. The facility seems to be one of the "better" ones in the area, so I feel fortunate, but on the other hand the workload is overwhelming and physically exhausting. I don't think this is for me. I am in the same boat you are with regards to the resume. I have now worked 5 weeks for two entities and I really can't use either one on my resume. So...I guess I am saying that I feel your pain, but don't let this one ridiculous experience taint you. Not every nursing job is for everybody (a quote from my dear friend and nursing instructor.) Keep your head held high and keep looking. You will find something you like.

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Specializes in Nursing burnout retreat CE teacher, etc..

The first person on your list to take care of is you. If you are uncomfortable in any way, you need to communicate it and make sure you are heard. This was a very important teaching lesson for you, and it can make you a better nurse if you are brave enough to see the complicit part you played in it. You did the best you could at the time, but you did play a role in what happened. It does not mean you were a bad nurse or person. You probably had warning signs showing up inside you that you ignored, like knowing you needed to leave the meeting to start your shift. When you honor the part of you that is intuitive, and sensible, and caring---and apply it to yourself, your co-workers and your patients equally, then you can evolve as a professional nurse. It is not easy, especially when you are placed in such a difficulty situation like you had in this job.

Yes, the management and the situation you were placed in were unprofessional, unsafe, and even cruel. It is a reflection of the unethical management of that nursing home where you were working. They obviously did not care about providing quality care to their patients, nor good support for their staff.

Med errors can be very serious, so you are fortunate that your patients were not harmed. At least I hope not. I was placed in a similar situation many years ago when I worked for a nursing agency that provided temp help. I was sent to a med/surg unit for the day. I was not introduced to the staff very well (who were not wearing name tags) and the person who I thought was another RN or LVN and was to be giving meds to half of the 40 bed floor, turned out not to be a nurse at all. I did not know that I was to have been giving meds to the other half of the floor until 3 hours into the shift. All those meds were given late by me. I never went to the bathroom or ate anything during the entire shift. I was concerned about getting the job done, and I neglected myself. I did ask to see the supervisor, but no one ever came to talk to me. When I gave report, I explained everything that had happened. I also called my boss when I went home and told her what happened and said I would never agree to go back to that hospital.

My best advice to you is to actually consider not putting this place on your resume at all, since you were only there for 3 months. And I also suggest that you do not use this DON for any kind of reference. Since she did not support you during the time you were there, why would you want her as a reference? If someone wants to know why you have not worked since nursing school, just say you needed a respite after school because of personal reasons, and now you are ready and excited about beginning your nursing career.

Look for a job in an acute hospital where they have a good mentor program and a decent orientation period, and where there is more than one licensed nurse on duty at all times. Give yourself some more on-the-job training. Nursing is something you learn by experience, and you have to be your own best teacher and supporter. When you know that you are in a unsafe situation, then you have to be the one to speak up loudly and if necessary, remove yourself from the unsafe situation.

You have been given the gift of an incredible learning experience from this experience. There is not much you could have done differently in trying to do the tasks you needed to do. A person can only physically do so much in a certain amount of time. Meds take time to give accurately and safely. There is no fast or better efficient way to do it. Same with tube feedings. Give yourself a break on this part, and just look at how you put yourself in that job in the first place.

Be the kind, compassionate person you are, toward yourself. Then find a place where you can continue to grow as a nurse. Don't give up.

from Elsah Cort, RN

PS Tomorrow is the 41st anniversary for me graduating from nursing school.

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Specializes in OR, public health, dialysis, geriatrics.

First this was not a reflection of you as a nurse. This experience was is a reflection of a poorly run facility. Wedding music can wait-patient care cannot. This place is lucky it isn't getting closed.

I am still trying to get over the fact that as a new grad you were only going to get 8 days of orientation!?? WTH! Not cool and not safe. Any DON worth her salt would never put up with this for worker and patient safety.

As for the advice to stay away from LTC-many facilities are well run and are actually a great place to hone prioritizing skills, wound care and prevention, and learning how to deal with a variety of personalities.

I am very sorry that you were fired, they were lucky you didn't report them, but reflect back and think about what you have learned from this experience-you will not put up with a prematurely shortened orientation, you will speak up when presented with a unmanageable situation, and you have learned that if you have a shift to start and no one is on the floor caring for your patients-you walk out of a meeting-if they don't like it ask if they will be taking care of your patients who now have late insulin, tube feedings, and time sensitive cares that are late? 9 out of 10 times they will let you go without a further word.

With the DON giving you a good reference, she realizes that she and the facility are lucky they aren't in trouble with the state, CMS, and OSHA for unsafe patient care conditions and that you didn't report them. She realizes that they were wrong in their handling, or non-handling, or this whole situtation.

Best of luck to you. Obviously you are a strong individual look at all you have overcome!

When asked about leaving the LTC job after a short period of time, I would just say that it was not the right job for you based on shortened orientation and not having support as a new grad to ensure that you were learning the job properly.

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