First 8 months in ICU-2 jobs over- Question

[baleen]

So, if anyone has any ideas I'd surely love to hear them as regards my situation or your experience.

I got into the ICU as a new grad last year (2018). Since then I've had two residencies (one I was done with and a full ICU nurse) and quit both of them after 4 months each, giving me 8 months of very spotty ICU experience. I've realized that I don't want to be an ICU nurse long term. However, I very much regret just quitting before I had 1 year of experience, for long term job prospects, and for my desire to possibly go to CRNA school in the future.

Before I explain why I think I became such a quitter, I want to ask my questions to you guys.

First, this is very recent. I have a job Per diem lined up in an inpatient Psych Hospital in my home city, and I'm going to take some classes at the local Community College (chemistry type stuff). I am worried that I wont be able to get another job in an ICU without putting in a solid year in Med Surg, if I feel like going to CRNA school. With such a spotty record, is it possible to get another job in an ICU to put in a good 6 months? I understand the explanation may be key, and will be difficult, but has anyone had this kind of crappy record and still gotten in? I obviously feel bad for taking the resources of these hospitals and then leaving, but now I have to think about the future.

Second: Is it possible to get a travel nursing gig with 8 months of ICU RN experience? I also had a 6 month Practicum in a level one Trauma MICU, but I know that doesnt count (though it was better experience than my other level 2 hospitals). If I could do a travel gig, I could get close to my year in, and they wouldnt have to worry about me running away again, cause I am temporary anyway.

My reasons for quitting are: The first job had a culture of catty backstabbing women (no offense to the great women out there please). I was stressed and I didn't like the job, but the nurses around me smiled in my face and then constantly talked about me to the manager. Even things that were not true (or truth manipulated to damage me). I became afraid of the place and getting fired because of this and left. I had my own issues, I was negative at work, and these ladies probably thought that they didn't want to be around someone like that. Understandable, but they way it happened was a surprise.

The second job, I had a preceptor that was very annoying. He was always assuming that I was an idiot (because I felt it was beneath me to defend myself). He would follow me around like a limpet talking at me incessantly. I had to shake him off me by going in and out of a door like six times. He wouldn't give me experience, as he wanted to show off to me. He also subtly put me down. Hes an insecure guy, nice enough if you can get past these things, but as a preceptor he made a job that is already tough on the ego (Patients, Docs, Family, everyone looking at you to screw up in any way, and not a lot of respect), and hurt my little ego too much. I didn't really realize it before it was too late. I had a different preceptor right before I had already quit (complicated story there), and he was great. A normal guy. Smart, focused on what is important and not the B.S., and knows how to respect another person. But it was too late.

I don't like the job. There are aspects I do, but I don't like not having the knowledge to be a knowledge worker in such an interesting place. I don't like not making decisions myself, and being "ordered". I don't like the cultures of nurses in the 3 hospitals ive been to. They talk about god knows what b.s all day/night long. Jokes that are not at all funny to me (I like my humor, but not my fit). Company folk, that make excuses for the way things are, or talk about other people. Most of all, I don't like the millions of ancillary tasks that we make our money doing. Earn our money. It is a hard job. Constantly trying to keep the place clean, the patient clean, the MAR refreshed and completed, the Orders neat and understandable, the labs within range or understood, the patient turned, swabbed, etc,etc,etc. It does get a bit easier, but I cant every see myself there long term.

I just do see somethings I like about the ICU, in CRNA. I love putting in lines. I am facinated by conciousness, and taking away someones, and bringing it back is very interesting. Procedures are satisfying. I was a carpenter, and a commercial fisherman before nursing, and the manual tasks in space are rewarding for me. Science. And of course, autonomy, and the ability to focus on what I want to focus on. Those are some of the keys. I have shadowed a CRNA and it did seem a bit claustrophobic and monotonous, but of course, I don't know whats going on in his/her head

Please don't chastise me on here. I do it enough. But if you think that I am SOL, I can hear that. I would love to hear some peoples experiences and ideas. Thank you.

[LovingLife123]

Here’s the thing. You need solid critical care experience for CRNA school. You do not. You can sit around and critique the policy and procedure of every icu and hate the people and quit, OR, you can suck it up and make it a year. I don’t see how two different 4 month stints in icu equals 8 solid months. I don’t feel like it does.

You may have a difficult time getting back in the icu. Go to a different dept and work for a year. Doesn’t have to be medsurg. Then, reapply to the icu.

Nursing is driven by orders. You need an order for pretty much everything. Even protocols require an order.

Not every place is peaches and cream. But if you aren’t planning on staying long, what’s the big deal? Keep your head down and work to achieve your goals. You are setting yourself up for failure by continuing to quit.

[KeepinitrealCCRN]

Just a few things that stuck out to me. psych per diem? Thats a whole different game and with no experience not a very good idea. Also, it will not help you at all in terms of ICU/CRNA in the future.

Travel nursing I doubt they will take you and even if they do it is a bad idea. In my opinion you need at least 2 years in a specialty before you travel. You will have minimal orientation and be expected to get up and running right away. You also don't even have 8 months experience since a lot of it is on orientation.

You need to set a plan and stick with it, whatever the plan may be.

[baleen]

On 6/16/2019 at 7:22 PM, KeepinitrealCCRN said:

Just a few things that stuck out to me. psych per diem? Thats a whole different game and with no experience not a very good idea. Also, it will not help you at all in terms of ICU/CRNA in the future.

Travel nursing I doubt they will take you and even if they do it is a bad idea. In my opinion you need at least 2 years in a specialty before you travel. You will have minimal orientation and be expected to get up and running right away. You also don't even have 8 months experience since a lot of it is on orientation.

You need to set a plan and stick with it, whatever the plan may be.

I hear that. I suppose I'm all over the place right now. Wish I had made different decisions but, for now, I'm looking at what I want to do, so I don't run from things, but rather, run to things. In the meantime, I really would love to finish out a year of experience with a travel nursing gig. After learning the ropes in 3 busy city ICU's, I'm pretty good at figuring the important parts from various hopsital settings. Perhaps not great, but I can pick it up faster, perhaps, than someone who has only practiced in one place.

[MountaineerFan57, BSN]

I don’t think any CRNA program is going to consider your 8 months as real experience. You were on orientation for most, if not all, of that time. You have to decide what’s more important, your short-term happiness & satisfaction with a job you take now, or reaching the long term goal of CRNA, which will require you to stick it out at an ICU for at least 1 year. Good luck to you!

[ARRN16, BSN, RN]

It's respectable that you're working toward a goal. That said, it isn't unusual to work in situations that aren't coddling, or that might even seem abrasive. The thing is, ICU isn't really a warm and fuzzy place to work. Neither is the OR (as a CRNA). Not to discredit the possible hostile attitude you received from the coworkers you had, but when you talked with your manager or the problematic coworkers did you ask about what they were not happy with? Were you given constructive criticism? I have found that new grads, ESPECIALLY in cut-throat type areas like ICU, feel like they are attacked when they start. I think a lot of us treat new nurses this way unintentionally, to be honest. The best way to grow from it is to take their advice into consideration. It is unreasonable to expect you to be a super nurse from the get-go, but definitely take what's being said as a learning opportunity. Now, as others have said it is highly unlikely that any CRNA school will take you as a serious candidate with that little ICU experience unless your other credentials are stellar (GPA, GRE, recommendations, etc). Most travel companies also require at least a year of ICU experience. If that's truly what you'd like to do, I would recommend another go at ICU. If you clash with the preceptor, ask for another one. Take control of your learning, and of the way you allow others to treat you. If you want ICU/CRNA bad enough, don't give up. Best of luck!

[baleen]

4 hours ago, ARRN16 said:

It's respectable that you're working toward a goal. That said, it isn't unusual to work in situations that aren't coddling, or that might even seem abrasive. The thing is, ICU isn't really a warm and fuzzy place to work. Neither is the OR (as a CRNA). Not to discredit the possible hostile attitude you received from the coworkers you had, but when you talked with your manager or the problematic coworkers did you ask about what they were not happy with? Were you given constructive criticism? I have found that new grads, ESPECIALLY in cut-throat type areas like ICU, feel like they are attacked when they start. I think a lot of us treat new nurses this way unintentionally, to be honest. The best way to grow from it is to take their advice into consideration. It is unreasonable to expect you to be a super nurse from the get-go, but definitely take what's being said as a learning opportunity. Now, as others have said it is highly unlikely that any CRNA school will take you as a serious candidate with that little ICU experience unless your other credentials are stellar (GPA, GRE, recommendations, etc). Most travel companies also require at least a year of ICU experience. If that's truly what you'd like to do, I would recommend another go at ICU. If you clash with the preceptor, ask for another one. Take control of your learning, and of the way you allow others to treat you. If you want ICU/CRNA bad enough, don't give up. Best of luck!

I think it was mostly me in these places. Sure, the coworkers at one place were backstabby, but I don't think they would have been, if I had a better attitude. The other place, I just thought the grass would be greener somewhere else, and then came to the rude awakening that I really shot myself in the foot. I think a big part of all of this is me trying to get off of zoloft in every place. And of course people say thats a terrible time to quit zoloft, or to cut it back. But nearly all times are bad in life if you measure your self worth by societies standards, and are always pushing for something.

I don't know if I want to be a CRNA. I'll shadow another CRNA and see how it tickles me now.

But now I'm shy of a year in the ICU, my references aren't going to be glowing. I thought I got lucky and got a Psych per diem job. But I'm quickly realizing that anywhere in psych will take me, so that was not a lucky break at all. I'm going to look for an ICU that will take me. I just wonder if that will be anywhere. Sigh.

[ARRN16, BSN, RN]

Your mental health is definitely what's most important regardless of the job you do. Maybe this is a good time to talk with family, friends, or your doctor about the best move for you overall. Adjusting to new situations is always difficult and I know it can seem disheartening when the thing you thought would be fantastic doesn't quite turn out the way you expected. I'm a big believer that things happen exactly when they're supposed to. Maybe, for you right now this is where you are supposed to be professionally? Keep your chin up, keep looking for jobs/specialities you find interesting, and keep your goal in mind. Even if your short term (think 2-3 year) goal is transitioning from psych or med surg or stepdown into an ICU - then professional school after that. There is so much knowledge to soak up. Don't rush yourself and miss out on all the things you can learn.

[NurseLizbit]

On 6/24/2019 at 7:53 PM, baleen said:

I think it was mostly me in these places. Sure, the coworkers at one place were backstabby, but I don't think they would have been, if I had a better attitude. The other place, I just thought the grass would be greener somewhere else, and then came to the rude awakening that I really shot myself in the foot. I think a big part of all of this is me trying to get off of zoloft in every place. And of course people say thats a terrible time to quit zoloft, or to cut it back. But nearly all times are bad in life if you measure your self worth by societies standards, and are always pushing for something.

I don't know if I want to be a CRNA. I'll shadow another CRNA and see how it tickles me now.

But now I'm shy of a year in the ICU, my references aren't going to be glowing. I thought I got lucky and got a Psych per diem job. But I'm quickly realizing that anywhere in psych will take me, so that was not a lucky break at all. I'm going to look for an ICU that will take me. I just wonder if that will be anywhere. Sigh.

Is this a joke? Like are you serious in your posts? You sound like you became a nurse for a paycheck and to put a bunch of letters after your name. After you were given not one, but TWO shots in an ICU and left because someone annoyed you. You expect to have a hiring manager look at your resume and presume you to be a good candidate?! All I see in your posts is your listing excuse after excuse. I’m not really sure what you expect to happen if you can’t even get through a residency program. CRNA is definitely not in the cards for you. Every one of those individuals put in their time to earn what they have and their credentials. Good luck- sounds like you’ll need it!

[Wuzzie]

On 6/24/2019 at 8:53 PM, baleen said:

But now I'm shy of a year in the ICU,

But you aren't really. Your 4 months at two different ICUs will pretty much amount to no experience to most ICU managers. You would be much better off approaching this a a do-over if, and that's a big if, you even manage to get an interview. You haven't "learned the ropes" of 3 different ICU's you've barely gotten past "knots 101". To believe any differently is going to get you in trouble.

[baleen]

On 4/6/2020 at 12:12 PM, NurseLizbit said:

Is this a joke? Like are you serious in your posts? You sound like you became a nurse for a paycheck and to put a bunch of letters after your name. After you were given not one, but TWO shots in an ICU and left because someone annoyed you. You expect to have a hiring manager look at your resume and presume you to be a good candidate?! All I see in your posts is your listing excuse after excuse. I’m not really sure what you expect to happen if you can’t even get through a residency program. CRNA is definitely not in the cards for you. Every one of those individuals put in their time to earn what they have and their credentials. Good luck- sounds like you’ll need it!

Put letters in front of my name? What? I never put RN in front of anything because I know I am made for more than this. Who the *** are you? Someone for whom this is the pinnicle? I can do the ICU, but don’t like it. I know CRNA’s that felt the same. It’s the fortitude to put up with the *** that makes the difference in nursing, not intelligence. So, good luck with your high horse there buddy. It’s not very high