first job, fired after 6 months.... heartbroken =(

[Honeybun1206]

post deleted.

[Kymmi]

I am very sorry to hear this and Im also very angry. You sound like you are confident in yourself and your skills. I think that unless you've had problems with patient outcomes that could have been prevented if you'd have asked questions or voiced concerns about patient condition or treatment then I might understand but it doesnt sound like that is the case. Sounds to me like it is all personality related which is just plain wrong. I do work critical care and I can say most critical care nurses are considered to have a strong personality.

I can't say Im shy but I am more on the quiet side when it comes to taking care of my patients...I do what needs to be done without alot of drama. I am not afraid to ask for help or ask questions if I dont know something but I've done critical care for a long time so therefore I am confident in my ability to provide the best care to my patient independently.

I have worked with alot of new RN's in critical care and I can say some of them come into the unit either thinking they know it all and therefore will not ask questions and thats how mistakes are made or else they do what they think they should because for whatever reason they think if they ask for help it will make them look bad or stupid so instead of admitting they need to learn they do something they shouldnt do and end up learning the hard way.

When I first started nursing I was shy and I let some of the nurses make me feel stupid for asking questions but I got over that and just continued to ask. The reason I say I let them make me feel stupid is because nobody can make you feel that way unless you let them but I know your OP wasnt about feeling stupid so I'll stop with that statement.

I think if you attempt to stay working in the unit you are in then I wouldnt submit my resignation but I would go higher up then your supervisior--maybe to HR--and talk to them about the situation. Maybe the reason she wants you to resign is because she knows that if she terminates you for the reasons you explained above that HR or her supervisior wouldnt approve. In the meantime I think I'd be looking elsewhere for a job that will appreciate having you on their team.

Like I've said earlier I've worked in critical care a long time and I've seen all types of personalities and I can say that I feel the nurses who have a problem with you being quiet or shy probably see the confidence you have in your abilities and it scares them. I have noticed that the nurses that I've worked with that complain the loudest or cause the most drama are the ones that really do not have confidence in themselves and I think they think if they make enough noise people will not notice their lack of confidence or abilities so when a person like you comes along that doesnt need to have drama to take care of a patient they feel threatened.

Good Luck to you and I'd work with you in a heartbeat.

[Kymmi]

Another thought....Have you thought about attempting to become more social......Im not talking about changing your entire personality but maybe just taking small steps into opening up more to the people you are around. I already said I used to be shy and I mean very shy which alot of people perceived as snobbish which wasnt the case...back then I suffered from low self esteem and I admit it freely...I had alot of issues years ago that caused me to feel that way. I overcome those issues thanks to a really good therapist and I am now a very happy confident person.

Think to yourself what causes your shyness and how it comes off to other people. I am not talking about changing your entire personality to suit someone else but I am saying that maybe being more open will help others to open up to you.

[lenjoy03, RN]

First of all, have you ever thought that nursing is about socialization? You can't nurse if you wont initiate a good relationship with your patient and most importantly, to your co-workers. wherever you go, the history will just keep repeating itself if you dont change. I know its hard for you to do it if its not really your nature. But then, you have to consider lots of things! I suggest, why not slowly overcome your introvert personality. You can start by being open of to one of your co-workers. Then after that, 2 or more. Until you have the guts to talk to everyone else! You said your more on the thinker side, now think about it and start verbalizing... We know your a good and effective nurse. You can be better if you change some of your attitude. One step at a time... You can do it! You just have to believe in yourself!

[deeDawntee, RN]

OH my God!! That is despicable that you would be fired under those circumstances!!! You are supposed to get a verbal warning, the written warnings etc before anyone can fire you. I think you need to tell your family because you are being treated wrong here. Get the heck out of there and count your blessings.

You are absolutely employable!! It is an accepted part of the nursing culture that people move frequently from job to job. I know because I had 7 job in 2 years and it never stopped me from getting hired.

I would strongly recommend you get yourself into some therapy or in a support group where you can heal. It would be a safe place where you could explore what happened and perhaps develop some social skills and confidence that would help you in your life in general. Being fired is a huge stressor and a blow to anyone's ego. You need support, the fact that you aren't eating is concerning.

[Honeybun1206]

I'd like to add that I WAS verbally warned a month ago, and also was given a formal letter of warning that if I don't improve that I could be terminated. I regret that all my hard work was pretty much wasted just because my shy and quiet personality got the best of me.

But it's already too late to try again, as I mentioned that my manager gave me several chances to prove myself to her and the other nurses.

Thanks to those that replied; I appreciate the support.

I'm walking away with my head held high:stone:stone:stone.. *sigh*

[deeDawntee, RN]

That is such a crock of crap!! It makes me soooooo angry!!!! I am so sorry that happened to you!!!! It just doesn't make sense to me. I think you are being treated really badly in this situation. I'm telling you, you need to belong to a Union. I was very leery of the Union at first when I started at the hospital where I work, but I am now sooooooo pro-Union, crap like that would have never happened to you. Are there places in your area that have Unions? I am serious, it is very empowering. You will have protection.

How about a NICU? Just a thought. A shy, quiet person may thrive with babies?

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

Awwww sweetie I'm so sorry this had to happen to you.

You sound like you're staying strong though and not letting this break you down, that's good. You'll be stronger for this in the end and you'll find something SO MUCH better than that worthless job!

I left my very first RN job after 5 months. I then went on to work in the area I had wanted to from the start and I got a 12 week new grad orientation. I know that was one of my biggest fears too, was that I needed a new grad orientation even though it wasn't my first nursing job. The new place I ended up going was SO MUCH BETTER than my old place ..... the people were so much better, nicer, more helpful, more supportive, more understanding, had better management, better orientation, more organized, etc, etc. It was the best thing I ever did. Go out there and find your better place too, I know you will!

The best thing you can do at this point is LEAVE that place! Go in there, give your resignation, and be proud that you're doing so. You're moving onto better things! :) I wish you all the best of luck, please keep us updated!

[ukstudent]

Personality can matter. If you look on the different forums you will find countless posts about not fitting in on one unit and when they moved to either another unit or another hospital they fitted and were a lot happier. Look at your personality and when looking for a new job look at the personality of the unit/floor and see if they will match. I hope you find a better match in the future.

What struck me in your OP was the fact that you couldn't bring yourself to tell your family when things started to go wrong,the extended orientation, the first and then second warning. So that now they don't know and can't support you in this time of crisis. Please look within yourself and see if there is any connection between not talking to your family and not talking to your co-workers.

I wish you the best and when looking for a new job. When asked why you left, just say that the last place was not a good fit for you, which is the truth, you don't need to elaborate.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Can you transfer to another unit in the same hospital? Talk with your manager on Monday and tell her that you would like to explore that option with the Nurse Recruiters of your hospital (or Human Resources). Ask her if you could have a few days "off" to explore that option without officially resigning from the entire institution.

Have 2 or 3 versions of your resignation ready and give her the one that fits the results of your conversation with her -- or maybe you won't need a resignation at all, but rather a request for transfer letter.

I would write the letter saying basically ... "I realize that ABC unit is not a good fit for me at this time and would like a little time to explore the possibility of transferring to another unit within XYZ hospital. I am available to work while I explore my options, but I understand that you may choose to ask me to stay home until I either officially transfer or resign."

You seem to understand the reasons the reasons this job has not worked out for you and that is a good first step. Nursing is a team activity and your team members have a legitimate need to get to know you if they are going to be able to trust you and integrate you into their team. Don't fall into the trap of simply blaming the manager and become blind to the fact that you probably are at least partly responsible for your difficulties. If you want to succeed in almost career, you are going to have to address your ability to establish friendly, trusting relationships with your coworkers.

I hope you can transfer to another unit in the same hospital -- but if you can't, resign with dignity. Acknowledge that it wasn't a good fit and move on.

Another important tip: Ask your manager what information will be given out when a prospective employer calls to verify your employment. It sounds like your manager has tried to help you over the past couple by giving you an extended orientation, appropriate warnings, and feedback about your performance. All that indicates to me that she has NOT been "out to get you" in an unfair way. She may be wanting to help you land on your feet and get another job. She probably won't want to prevent you finding another job. Asking her about that might remind her to be kind with what is written in the file -- and may nudge her in the direction of facilitating your transfer to another unit.

As a coordinator of orientation in a NICU, I have been involved in many similar situations. When faced with such a situation as a manager or educator, my friends and I generally want to help the struggling new grad to find her niche and become successful somewhere else. Give your manager a chance to do that by asking about these things on Monday. Don't just give her a letter of resignation and leave. This job is over -- now you have to focus on doing what you need to do to land on your feet.

[RNSuzq1, RN]

Hi Kat,

First, I'm really sorry about your situation. I can't believe the hospital didn't ask you to consider another area of the hospital to work in - instead of Firing you, makes no sense. Just my opinion - but resigning on your own terms would look much better to a future employer, rather than being terminated. Since you've only been a Nurse for 6 months - you can tell future employers that the last place wasn't what you were looking for and just leave it at that. Don't tell them anything about your last employers thinking you were too shy, quiet, etc. - it will just give them preconceived notions about you - let them get to know you for "You".

About your quiet/shyness - there's nothing wrong with being quiet or shy, I'd rather work with someone like you than an obnoxious loud-mouth, but it's really important to talk to other Nurses about any pt. concerns you might have. Maybe this group just wasn't for you - look around and you'll hopefully find somewhere you "click" with a group of people you'll be able to open-up around. I'm neither quiet or shy, but the first floor I worked on - most of the Nurses had a very Superior attitude towards New Nurses - they seemed to live by the saying "Nurses Eat their Young", so I stayed out of their way. They loved to gossip - I hate that stuff, never got into their conversations, so they thought I was some kind of snobby, introvert - Whatever!!!

I'm now with a fantastic Night Crew - nicest people I've ever met. I'm so comfortable with these people that without even trying to, I seem to keep them laughing all night long. So, the last group thought I was an introvert and this group calls me the "class clown". Yesterday, the day Nurse rounding with me at change of shift told all her patients - you're gonna love Susan tonight, she's a Hoot!!! Some said they were glad they'd get a funny Nurse, but a couple weren't so sure they wanted a Comedian taking care of them. Luckily I know when to keep it serious and when someone needs a bit of humor.

Nursing is a very serious Profession, but most patients (especially those without visitors) get very lonely, so it's really important that you try and start up conversations with them to let them know you care - and maybe it'll get their mind on something other than their illness for awhile. You might think about Pediatrics - most kids are very scared, so I'm sure they'd appreciate a more quiet, thoughtful person like you taking care of them. Just don't let this get the better of you and destroy your confidence, there's so many jobs in Nursing that I'm sure you'll enjoy. Best of luck to you - let us know what you decide, Sue...

[RNSuzq1, RN]

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