...and let me tell you I am numb. It was completely crazy. I was with a fantastic experienced nurse, and wow I wish I had a tape recorder, I think I learned more from this nurse in one day than I did in the entire last semester of clinicals.
I am still spinning from the transition from student to RN, I think. I didn't experience this even as an extern. It is just so strange to be the one doing things, if that makes any sense. To be treated as a member of the team, to be trusted as a professional, it is bizzarre. I am so happy to be where I am, and hope to be able to work hard enough to become a good ED nurse. This is the first facility I've ever been to where I was addressed by name and spoken to like I was valued. It probably sounds silly, but it was such a nice feeling to be regarded as part of the team.
It's going to take some time to feel confident though, I couldn't seem to click it together fast enough. I knew the answers to things, and understood my role, but just couldn't feel confident enough to put it out there yet.
The people stuff is gonna be tough. I was sort of detached during codes, focused on the task, and treating some of these poor, poor souls, but on the way home while driving, I just cried when it hit me. So sad, so many of the patients coming through there just have no quality of life in so many ways. No wonder they want to stay in the ED, it's much better than anything else they have.
And nothing is more humbling than saying "I don't know" over and over and over.:imbar But I figure pretending is much, much worse, so now I have a new catch phrase. Maybe I will tape it to my forehead? But it's nice, there are new interns who are learning too, we're all kinda in the same boat.
Okay, and tell me the truth, is "crack dance" a real symptom? I can't stop chuckling over that one, and wondering if they were pulling my leg. But I'm leaning toward not, since I saw it written in the notes....:)
