Let me preface this entry by saying that I am trying to be vague deliberately, as I am a little on the paranoid side of certain people figuring out who I am. I will try to be as succinct as I can, but "keeping it short" is not my strong suite.
Basically, I was working in a specialty practice (large doctor's office with a few locations) up until the end of December, at which time I was fired (worked there less than a year). Now let me give you a little background that led up to this very stressful event: Well, the long and short of it is that starting around July 2008, my suspicion was confirmed that my supervisor was a very mean-spirited person (sociopath I believe) and that such disgusting traits were starting to be targeted towards me - for what reason I still just don't know. Well, actually, I think a good bit of it may very well have been jealousy over finding out that I had something in my personal life that many nurses, actually just many women, would be quite envious of. Or it could have been some of the "smarts" I displayed at work. I don't know. Nonetheless, I am a kind person who's most always smiling and trying to make othes laugh. In other words, there is just no good reason for a regular person not to like me.
Well, as the months progressed, I noticed that this wench seemed to be targeting me more and more, very much singling me out, being very hypercritical. And I mean it got more and more petty as time went on. But here's the thing...this evil turd very rarely just addressed these "issues" with me directly. Instead, she would always magnify, and even distort, whatever the issue was and proceed to tell the director. She would never be overtly hateful/too critical to my face - a b!h of the worst kind!!!
It really just got to the point of harrassment to the point that most of the other staff knew about it. It became really stressful as you can imagine, going to work everyday walking on eggshells. As busy as this place was, I saw several times where this turd actually made the time to hyper-scrutize me, just looking for ANYTHING she could possibly stretch into something that she could get me into trouble for, while all along letting others "get a pass" for things she was singling me out for.
Well, I won't go on and on about this, especially since I am not comfortable posting the details of these events as I said. However, if you would like to hear more of the details, I will discuss it further via PM. I'll just conclude by saying that in the end, it was such a nasty termination - the evil supervisor even told the director a bold-faced lie about me. Let me also say that this organization has a pretty significant history of high staff turnover too. But I actually thought about filing a lawsuit for wrongful termination, mainly because I informed the director of this ongoing harrassment on more than one occassion - and nothing was done about it. Instead, I get hung out to dry. I'm still considering consulting with an employment attorney, but some of the best evidence I thought I had may not be sufficient (I had brought a tape recorder and put it in my pocket during one of the disciplinary meetings - but the damn thing cut off just a little bit too soon!).
So the advice I *really* need from you guys is: How do I handle answering the question "Have you ever been fired from a job?" on my next job application? And then, if I do even get an interview, how do I explain this situation without committing the proverbial "never bad-mouth former employers" tenet? I have been greatly stressed over all of this, feeling like I am finished. One last note to consider is that I am thinking about applying with the employer I had just before going to work for this craphole - I left there on a good note too.
I'd love to hear about any similar experiences you all have had or know someone who's had and the outcomes. However, ANY advice is welcome!!!!
I think you should go ahead and consult with the attorney. He/she can determine if you have sufficient evidence to proceed. It would also help if any of the employees there would be willing to back you up in a trial. After all, you said they were all aware of what was going on. It's just weird that something like this could go on for so long and no one did anything about it.
I also have been fired and yes there is a question about ever being fired on every job ap, I've ever filled out.I just answer yes, the reason is personal and that I'm willing to discuss the reason during the interview.Only once was I even asked what happened, got the job and was thanked for my openess and honesty,It scarred me though and I think it will always bother me a little.Good luck and hang in there !
I also have been fired and yes there is a question about ever being fired on every job ap, I've ever filled out.I just answer yes, the reason is personal and that I'm willing to discuss the reason during the interview.Only once was I even asked what happened, got the job and was thanked for my openess and honesty,It scarred me though and I think it will always bother me a little.Good luck and hang in there !
Whodunit,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to share that with me. I really needed to hear how other nurses who have gone through this have dealt with it and the outcomes. Reading how it has not really affected your subsequent jobs has been the greatest help for me. I keep hearing from others how this life event is much more common than I ever knew before, and now I don't feel quite as alone (and all the other negative stuff). I may actually even go ahead an apply for that job today :)
Hi Summerlovin', I'm a new grad RN who is a second-career nurse, and I've seen this type of behavior before in the corporate world. It's called BoWS (Black Widow Syndrome), and commonly stems from a supervisor feeling insecure or threatened by a younger or smarter subordinate. It can sometimes be stopped by assiduously kissing up to the supervisor (aka Bowing down to them) and hopefully making them feel secure enough to stop. But if that doesn't work, then its only a matter of time before the supervisor accumulates enough minutae to justify asking you to leave.
It sounds like you did everything right on your end (gave the position a reasonable amount of time - a year, used the chain of command to try to adddress the problem with your supervisor, etc.). So I don't think you have anything to worry about with regards to answering the question about whether or not you've ever been fired. Most employers are very reluctant to provide details about past employees beyond term of employment and job/position title, for fear of litigation. So, as long as you don't engage in any public bad mouthing of them, there's usually no reason for them to do anything to bad mouth you (like saying you were fired). Remember, they want you to just go away and not pursue legal action against them. So it's in their best interest to not do anything which makes it harder for you to just move on and get another job.
So it's in everyone's best interest to maintain a high level of professsionalism, and treat your time there a learning experience which will help you be a better employee in the future.
You've just experienced some workplace unpleasantness that many people have experienced in their careers, and now you'll be better able to spot the signs of it in the future and deal with it more effectively. And when you are a supervisor, you'll be a better supervisor to your subordinates.
So treat it as "water under the bridge", and go out and find that perfect position that's waiting for you just around the corner.
Cheers
Yes, yes...I did try the tactic of asking her opinions on how to handle things, etc. expressly for the purpose of hoping to have the effect of her feeling like "the knowledgeable, go-to one". Maybe I did not do this enough. Actually, I don't think it would have mattered, as she was dead-set on sinking me. I would have had more respect for her if she had just "gone off" on me face-to-face, instead of being the two-headed snake that she was. Oh, and her favoritism towards one or two people was so obvious - to ALL the staff.
As far as what you said about how most employers will not bad-mouth an employee unless they do it first...I hear this type of thing quite frequently. Seems like I hear most people say that former employers CANNOT say anything bad about former employees.
Why does it seem like everyone says this? I ask because I did some web research just after this happened and found that in fact employers are legally able to say anything they want about former employees (so long as it truth-based) if prospective employers are given permission to talk to them, according to a few legal websites. This would also include telling them you were fired.
What disturbed me about this info. was the "truth-based" part - what about the employee who had lies told about them, which technically are allegations, not proven truths? I just don't know what to expect from this ruthless organization. I wish I could elaborate on this further by telling you guys another story of their ruthlessness towards another former employee!!!
Yes, I did. With mine, the hosp didn't contest my right to draw unemploymen{they were a no show at the hearing} so I got mine.As a matter of fact one of the employees there told me I should contest the firing but I was so heart broken and embarassed that I didn't.
Answer truthfully on your application. If more information is needed, simply state that inspite of you and your manager having personalities that were at odds, the 2 of you did try to work together. Apparently things were not going as well as you had thought, and you were asked to leave. You have looked back on the experience and realized that the job was not a good match for you and you were not the best match for the Dr's office. Then play up the good job you did at other employment.
In the future, use this experience as a way to carefully decide if a place is right for you. Just like every guy you date is not a match, so goes that every job you interview at is not a match either.
Next time, don't wait to be fired. You assumed that because of the way she acted and how mean she was would be enough for the Drs. to side with you and not her. However, she is there and in the position she is in because she is a match with those higher up than her. She is doing exactly what they want her to do.
This doesn't mean that you are not a great employee in the right place. On a scale of 1-5, my last boss would have rated me a "2" and my current boss would rate me at a "6". I'm the same, just they have different paradigms on what a "5" is.
Litigation? Now why in the world would you spend the time and energy on trying to prove that she is wrong and you are right? A sign of maturity is knowing that it doesn't matter. Why would you want that job back anyway? Every job has a "culture" within it. Let this one go. Use your time and energy to find a great job.
Hey, SL, glad to hear you're feeling a little better about the whole thing.
Here's one other thing you might consider: Write a letter - SHORT, sweet (very sweet, very professional), and to the point - to the HR mgr or the senior partner of the group, appealing your dismissal.
The point is not to get your job back - I mean, really. Do you wanna go back to the hellhole?
The point is, when you are asked if you have been fired, you can honestly say "yes, BUT... I have appealed the dismissal because I believe I was wrongfully dismissed under the business's personnel policies. I am not pursuing LEGAL ACTION, and I am not attempting to regain employment with them, but I AM trying to clear my name".
I would NOT try to say anything like "I was discriminated against" or "I was treated unfairly".
Face it, we're all discriminated against, sooner or later, and we're all treated unfairly.
BUT if you honestly feel like they singled you out, or lied (I think I remember you saying she lied on a write-up?) then they surely have personnel policies against that kind of behavior and you have every right to appeal your dismissal.
Tell the TRUTH, but be diplomatic and don't sound like a whiner or a victim. Sound like somebody who was wronged, who is working (NOT "FIGHTING") to corect the wrong, and most of all just moving on and being professional.
Many years ago, I was wrongfully fired from a nursing job. I hired a private investigator to call and write the former employer for a reference-several times, under different company aliases- and to ask questions about me in order to see how they would respond. The former employer and Queen Turd DON confirmed dates of employment only, and did not say or document anything else to the PI.
To be frank, whenever I fill out an app asking if I've ever been fired, I lie and say no.
It has never come back to bite me. At this point, it happened so long ago that I'm never asked about my employment that far back.
Answer truthfully on your application. If more information is needed, simply state that inspite of you and your manager having personalities that were at odds, the 2 of you did try to work together. Apparently things were not going as well as you had thought, and you were asked to leave. You have looked back on the experience and realized that the job was not a good match for you and you were not the best match for the Dr's office. Then play up the good job you did at other employment.
In the future, use this experience as a way to carefully decide if a place is right for you. Just like every guy you date is not a match, so goes that every job you interview at is not a match either.
Next time, don't wait to be fired. You assumed that because of the way she acted and how mean she was would be enough for the Drs. to side with you and not her. However, she is there and in the position she is in because she is a match with those higher up than her. She is doing exactly what they want her to do.
This doesn't mean that you are not a great employee in the right place. On a scale of 1-5, my last boss would have rated me a "2" and my current boss would rate me at a "6". I'm the same, just they have different paradigms on what a "5" is.
Litigation? Now why in the world would you spend the time and energy on trying to prove that she is wrong and you are right? A sign of maturity is knowing that it doesn't matter. Why would you want that job back anyway? Every job has a "culture" within it. Let this one go. Use your time and energy to find a great job.
Mudwoman,
You could not be more right about not waiting to be fired next time. I really sorta knew it was leading up to this for a while. Honestly, they just "beat me to the punch" by a week or 2, which makes it even more sickening for me. I was trying to settle a deal in my personal life that required my showing stable employment.
As far as the litigation bit...I have 2 goals for wanting to do this: 1) De-stigmatize my name for future employment and 2) Take a stand about this kind of thing so they don't continue to feel it is ok to just treat people like garbage. I actually had started to "let it go" but changed my mind after thinking about the difficulties this would cause me in seeking other employment opportunities. Fortunately, it may not be as difficult as I had previously thought after reading some of these posts.
daisydoll
105 Posts
I think you should go ahead and consult with the attorney. He/she can determine if you have sufficient evidence to proceed. It would also help if any of the employees there would be willing to back you up in a trial. After all, you said they were all aware of what was going on. It's just weird that something like this could go on for so long and no one did anything about it.
Good luck finding a new job!