being fired by patient's family member

[GS ED RN]

hello,

I have been working in the ER for less than a year, in my ER we have to rotate through pedi/psych. Pedi is not my favorite because I am not that great at it yet. I took care of a sick developmentally delayed child, it was about 7 hours and the parent and I got along fine it seemed and I was in the room very frequently and was keeping a close eye on him, then all of a sudden - she snapped at me and then claimed I had a tone, I apologized right away and said it was purely unintentional and she then claimed that I had a tone throughout the night and had to work on my bedside manner and kept going... I was in shock and absolutely mortified, and then had to muster up the courage to ask another nurse to take care of them. My co-workers were surprised I was fired. I do just fine with difficult patients and do fine in psych. I cannot help but go over and over in my head what I did wrong or what I could have done better. I understand she had a long difficult night but to snap out of the blue!! How do nurses cope with this????

[DayDreamin ER CRNP]

Awww.... You had your "I got fired" cherry popped. You should be celebrating!!

I have been fired more times than I can count for my "tone." I have never ONCE been fired for my abilities or level of care.

I'm in a position now that I can say to the fire-e, "I'm sure it gives you great pleasure to think you are firing me but I don't take it personally and I hope you find the perfect nurse that can provide you as great of medical care that I can with a more pleasant tone that suits you."

In my previous ER, if the family tried to fire a nurse, we would get the CN involved. Patients weren't really allowed to fire nurses if it was just a personality conflict. The CNs would remind the patient that we have a job to do and treat the patient medically. They couldn't fire docs either so their choice was to either stay in that room with that nurse or they could sign out AMA and sign back in to be seen. They usually opted to stay.

If the family pushed the issue we would swap nurses but we'd usually try to get the nurse with the flattest affect or was over-the-top bubbly to turn on the charm.

Don't take this stuff personally. A lot of times family members are exhausted and the most minute detail will set him or her off and you are there to take the brunt of that frustration. Consider it a blessing in disguise.

[Nalon1 RN/EMT-P, BSN, RN]

...

If the family pushed the issue we would swap nurses but we'd usually try to get the nurse with the flattest affect or was over-the-top bubbly to turn on the charm.

...

Which allows the pt/family to think this is OK behavior and allow it to continue.

Replace the "fired" nurse with a bigger jerk, making the first one look like an angel.

Like I said, you can't fire me, but you can quit (i.e. leave AMA).

If you have that ability to choose, you probably don't belong in the EMERGENCY Department.

[BabyRN2Be]

I really don't do this on a public forum very often, but I'm going to tattle on myself about when I "fired" a NICU nurse. It was a complicated mess and she told me I had no business breastfeeding. At that moment, it was a hot button issue for me. It came on the heels of another L&D nurse giving out my room number to my mother-in-law. She was the whole reason we went in as NSNR, she lied and the staff have her the number.

Anyway, the "firing" was honestly not the nurse's fault. She was a little brusque with the situation. However, a little education was given to both sides by the r̶e̶f̶e̶r̶e̶e̶ charge nurse. A few days later, I felt very badly and apologized to her. She seemed to understand that I was coming out of postpartum crud topped with a horrendous L&D experience. During my time there, we eventually got on very well, she brought me some great articles to read which helped my situation. I was truly grateful.