Feeling Very Discouraged. ICU New Grad Nurse.

Precious92 · Nov 16, 2022

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through all this. I unfortunately do not have any words of advice since I’m still a nursing student myself but I graduate next month, December. I already accepted a nurse residency program in the ICU too so I am a little nervous as well. But keep your head high. Always show willingness to learn and despite how you feel, always try to have a positive attitude and keep doing your best. Nothing comes easy in nursing, but with time I know you’ll do awesome. I’m seriously rooting for you and hoping you don’t give up. You got this??????

Career Columnist / Author · Nov 17, 2022

They feel you are not ready for independent practice. It's possible the last preceptor's directive was to evaluate you and report back.

In all kindness-this is a major disappointment but what you have to do is prepare to move on. Your nursing career is not over, it's taking a different direction. For now.

If they offer you a transfer to MedSurg, take it. You'll be given additional orientation and a chance to get on your feet.

nursing_potato, ADN, LVN, RN · Nov 19, 2022

On 11/16/2022 at 1:26 PM, Precious92 said:

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through all this. I unfortunately do not have any words of advice since I’m still a nursing student myself but I graduate next month, December. I already accepted a nurse residency program in the ICU too so I am a little nervous as well. But keep your head high. Always show willingness to learn and despite how you feel, always try to have a positive attitude and keep doing your best. Nothing comes easy in nursing, but with time I know you’ll do awesome. I’m seriously rooting for you and hoping you don’t give up. You got this??????

I will do my best! They have already extended my orientation for another 3 weeks so I'm going to try to learn what I can before then and prove that I can do it! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I'll keep them in mind! ?

nursing_potato, ADN, LVN, RN · Nov 19, 2022

On 11/17/2022 at 9:34 AM, Nurse Beth said:

They feel you are not ready for independent practice. It's possible the last preceptor's directive was to evaluate you and report back.

In all kindness-this is a major disappointment but what you have to do is prepare to move on. Your nursing career is not over, it's taking a different direction. For now.

If they offer you a transfer to MedSurg, take it. You'll be given additional orientation and a chance to get on your feet.

They have extended my orientation for another 3 weeks so I'm working to prove myself to show that I can do it! My preceptor has told me I was showing improvement with them the last 2 days so it's just a matter of getting used to the shift in the night because the morning shift I had was comparably way different. My main priority is time management and listing what I should do to prepare for the day because I was so behind in the first week I started. My preceptor even admitted they were mean to me to get it together and I try to keep a positive attitude and work my way through it even if I know they don't like me. I am not giving up! The only reason why I didn't change my night preceptor despite their attitude is because I know they can teach me a lot since they are knowledgeable.

I actually don't want to get out of the unit because I have loved it there since the day I started and like learning a lot. It's just learning how to manage my time and get through the day.

Career Columnist / Author · Nov 19, 2022

Sending good thoughts! Good sign

ea.bednar · Nov 21, 2022

I know you’re not going to like my answer but time management and prioritizing aren’t little things they are the most important things especially in the ICU. Nurses are not nice people especially nurses that work in the ICU and critical care. For the most part they are there because it makes them feel cool they can say I’m an ICU nurse. They are usually very competitive with their coworkers and want to be the best nurse. I know you like it but it is a lot of responsibility and something over 99 percent nurses in general have no business doing. You work with a lot of medications where you can easily kill someone on accident. Things are different now days nurses that accidentally kill people aren’t just losing their nurses license they are going to jail. I’ve read news articles of ICU nurses getting up to 7 patients. Icus are short staffed because people were bullied out the door or at the very least not trained correctly and failed not because there is a lack of interest. I know in nursing school they act like someone is going to take you in under their wing but no one is going to do that. No one is ever going to give you positive feed back on a consistent basis even if you deserve it let alone if you don’t. If you want to be a nurse in any unit on the hospital your going to have to learn how to stick up for yourself and stand up to bullies. It really sounds like you need to get a job on a med surge floor until you learn time management and how to prioritize and you desperately need self confidence. These are skills that take a few years to build and that’s normal!!

nursing_potato, ADN, LVN, RN · Nov 21, 2022

39 minutes ago, ea.bednar said:

I know you’re not going to like my answer but time management and prioritizing aren’t little things they are the most important things especially in the ICU. Nurses are not nice people especially nurses that work in the ICU and critical care. For the most part they are there because it makes them feel cool they can say I’m an ICU nurse. They are usually very competitive with their coworkers and want to be the best nurse. I know you like it but it is a lot of responsibility and something over 99 percent nurses in general have no business doing. You work with a lot of medications where you can easily kill someone on accident. Things are different now days nurses that accidentally kill people aren’t just losing their nurses license they are going to jail. I’ve read news articles of ICU nurses getting up to 7 patients. Icus are short staffed because people were bullied out the door or at the very least not trained correctly and failed not because there is a lack of interest. I know in nursing school they act like someone is going to take you in under their wing but no one is going to do that. No one is ever going to give you positive feed back on a consistent basis even if you deserve it let alone if you don’t. If you want to be a nurse in any unit on the hospital your going to have to learn how to stick up for yourself and stand up to bullies. It really sounds like you need to get a job on a med surge floor until you learn time management and how to prioritize and you desperately need self confidence. These are skills that take a few years to build and that’s normal!!

It was actually mainly time management and prioritization in the ICU from what my preceptor has told me. Not so much on meds and other stuff, ofc it’s important to know, but I can always check in with my charge and other nurses just in case. It’s because I fall behind on stuff that are due and I’m slowly building it up because my preceptor told me I was improving. Plus, putting in orders ourselves because that’s how we do it in my facility. Other than that, I get what you mean but I’m not giving up!

kjstape, BSN, RN · Nov 22, 2022

I really feel for you. I graduated in Spring 2021 and started my job as an RN in a pediatric ICU step down unit in January 2021. The experience was really not what I was hoping for with very little training, consistency, staffing, resources etc. I was also passed between 5-6 different preceptors over my 3 month orientation which made things all that more challenging. While I learned a ton in my time on the unit, especially in regards to time management, prioritization, delegation, etc., at the end of my 3 month orientation my preceptor basically told me I wasn't cut out for the ICU. My preceptor approached me with the charge nurse and explained that this environment is not for everyone and it was in my best interest to pursue something else. I was completely blind sided and did not know how else to react other than to accept the feedback and walk away. After taking the weekend to think it over I immediately regretted my decision and reached out to nursing management and the education team explaining the situation and asking for feedback on their reasoning behind the decision and any feedback I could take away from the opportunity moving forward with my nursing career. I reached out another 2 times following the initial email and never heard back. I was heartbroken but forced to move on and accept the experience as a learning opportunity. I felt like the ultimate failure and began working with a therapist on my self esteem and rebuilding my confidence as a nurse. After a month or so I was offered an amazing job opportunity for a new grad program at one of the top childrens hospitals in the area. I was thrilled and felt that finally things were falling back into place. I started my job on the new pediatric unit with confidence that as part of the new grad program I would have more support and training to help me be successful as a new nurse. Despite speaking with the nursing manager during my interview, I completely misunderstood the high degree of acuity of the patient population and within the first week I felt like I was in over my heard. Training was not set to begin for 6 weeks into my onboarding process so I did everything I could to educate myself and learn anything and everything. I whole heartedly listened to every and any feedback from my preceptor, reached out to the nursing educator, started coming in early to read through patients charts, spent my days off perusing the nursing education share drive to educate myself, really anything I could do to keep my head above water until I had more formal training 6 weeks later. After 5 weeks the nursing manager sat me down and explained that my preceptor was having concerns about my progress and recommended that I consider taking 2 steps back in my nursing career and think about taking a job at a nursing home for a few years before bedside nursing. I again felt blindsided that my preceptor had never brought up her concerns to me in person and was devastated to be hearing this feedback for the first time from the nurse manager. I asked her to please give me a chance to prove myself and at least allow me the opportunity to participate in training that was only a week away. I heard back from her a day later and she wanted to schedule a meeting with her boss to discuss. Of course, I obliged and took the meeting and again was told that it was in my best interest to walk away from the organization, get experience elsewhere, and reapply when I had more experience and confidence as a nurse. More than ever I was completely heartbroken and felt like I had made the wrong career choice all together. These first 2 experiences gave me a terrible impression of what nursing has become and left me feeling like nursing has become a miserable profession with miserable people with very little empathy my new nurses. After dwelling in my anti nursing misery for a few weeks, I spoke with friends from nursing school and other friends who are nurses I was convinced to get back on the horse and reminded that not all nursing will be this way. I have decided to take a step back from pediatrics and take a position on a med surg unit at a smaller hospital where most patients will be stable. I start my new job in 2 weeks and I am terrified of being a failure once again. While I may have been in over my head on ICU type units, I know that my performance was really not as poor as I felt it was, I was just a new grad working on 2 very challenging units with little support. Being a new grad is so hard but keep your confidence and remember that you were smart enough to get through nursing school, pass the boards, and get to this point in your career. I really resonated with your experience and just wanted to remind you that you are not alone! Make the most of the additional 3 weeks of orientation and if it doesn't work out just remember you are not a failure, maybe this unit just wasn't the right fit for you. Rebuilding my confidence is a constant work in progress but I really do believe that there is something in nursing for everyone! Keep your head up and best of luck!

nursing_potato, ADN, LVN, RN · Dec 3, 2022

On 11/21/2022 at 10:11 PM, kjstape said:

I really feel for you. I graduated in Spring 2021 and started my job as an RN in a pediatric ICU step down unit in January 2021. The experience was really not what I was hoping for with very little training, consistency, staffing, resources etc. I was also passed between 5-6 different preceptors over my 3 month orientation which made things all that more challenging. While I learned a ton in my time on the unit, especially in regards to time management, prioritization, delegation, etc., at the end of my 3 month orientation my preceptor basically told me I wasn't cut out for the ICU. My preceptor approached me with the charge nurse and explained that this environment is not for everyone and it was in my best interest to pursue something else. I was completely blind sided and did not know how else to react other than to accept the feedback and walk away. After taking the weekend to think it over I immediately regretted my decision and reached out to nursing management and the education team explaining the situation and asking for feedback on their reasoning behind the decision and any feedback I could take away from the opportunity moving forward with my nursing career. I reached out another 2 times following the initial email and never heard back. I was heartbroken but forced to move on and accept the experience as a learning opportunity. I felt like the ultimate failure and began working with a therapist on my self esteem and rebuilding my confidence as a nurse. After a month or so I was offered an amazing job opportunity for a new grad program at one of the top childrens hospitals in the area. I was thrilled and felt that finally things were falling back into place. I started my job on the new pediatric unit with confidence that as part of the new grad program I would have more support and training to help me be successful as a new nurse. Despite speaking with the nursing manager during my interview, I completely misunderstood the high degree of acuity of the patient population and within the first week I felt like I was in over my heard. Training was not set to begin for 6 weeks into my onboarding process so I did everything I could to educate myself and learn anything and everything. I whole heartedly listened to every and any feedback from my preceptor, reached out to the nursing educator, started coming in early to read through patients charts, spent my days off perusing the nursing education share drive to educate myself, really anything I could do to keep my head above water until I had more formal training 6 weeks later. After 5 weeks the nursing manager sat me down and explained that my preceptor was having concerns about my progress and recommended that I consider taking 2 steps back in my nursing career and think about taking a job at a nursing home for a few years before bedside nursing. I again felt blindsided that my preceptor had never brought up her concerns to me in person and was devastated to be hearing this feedback for the first time from the nurse manager. I asked her to please give me a chance to prove myself and at least allow me the opportunity to participate in training that was only a week away. I heard back from her a day later and she wanted to schedule a meeting with her boss to discuss. Of course, I obliged and took the meeting and again was told that it was in my best interest to walk away from the organization, get experience elsewhere, and reapply when I had more experience and confidence as a nurse. More than ever I was completely heartbroken and felt like I had made the wrong career choice all together. These first 2 experiences gave me a terrible impression of what nursing has become and left me feeling like nursing has become a miserable profession with miserable people with very little empathy my new nurses. After dwelling in my anti nursing misery for a few weeks, I spoke with friends from nursing school and other friends who are nurses I was convinced to get back on the horse and reminded that not all nursing will be this way. I have decided to take a step back from pediatrics and take a position on a med surg unit at a smaller hospital where most patients will be stable. I start my new job in 2 weeks and I am terrified of being a failure once again. While I may have been in over my head on ICU type units, I know that my performance was really not as poor as I felt it was, I was just a new grad working on 2 very challenging units with little support. Being a new grad is so hard but keep your confidence and remember that you were smart enough to get through nursing school, pass the boards, and get to this point in your career. I really resonated with your experience and just wanted to remind you that you are not alone! Make the most of the additional 3 weeks of orientation and if it doesn't work out just remember you are not a failure, maybe this unit just wasn't the right fit for you. Rebuilding my confidence is a constant work in progress but I really do believe that there is something in nursing for everyone! Keep your head up and best of luck!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me! I have about a week left of orientation and my clinical supervisor will talk to us on Monday about my progress. I have been doing better than I did last time since I got used to starting my day by making to-do lists (what are the labs due, q1 neuro checks, etc.), assessing my patient, etc. But even after all of that, my preceptor thinks I should be in another unit which I don't understand because I've been showing so much improvement based on the re-evaluation that they gave me to check on my progress based on "titrating drips," "giving PRN meds," "prioritization" etc. In the end, I feel like they personally don't like me because I can hear them gossiping about me to other nurses. They tell me I should ask them questions, but even when I do, it's not enough for them. And when I want to ask questions, sometimes they're not even present like that time when we got floated to another floor and they went downstairs to help out to the ICU because we got overloaded, but most of the time, they talk to their friends so I was left by myself and asking another nurse who was with me from the ICU to ask questions. Other times, whenever I ask questions, they look at me with an attitude as if I was dumb even though they themselves have told me "there's no such thing as stupid questions." (because of this, I've been asking other nurses instead). When they tell me to look up certain stuff on my own time and even when I do, they expect me to know about it fully even though I wrote them down as I was researching about it as I am getting tired since I have work the next day. I feel as if I am looked down upon and they still discourage me and criticize me more than give words of positivity especially when I did something good and yet, everything I do is still isn't good enough for them. The recent patients that I've had were both one of the very sick ones in the unit and my preceptor decided to leave me all on my own to see how I did. I did like 90% of the care without them being there and asking other nurses for help or questions because I know I can't rely on my preceptor forever. Whenever I chart, I feel rushed because they keep telling me they don't want to leave after a certain time so I have been keeping up with my charting while also doing care on my own especially if the patient is on many drips and I constantly check if it needs to be changed. At this point, I feel that they complain about what I did wrong more (the littlest things) than telling me what I did well when I have been trying my best since I got my orientation extended. They eye more on what I did badly than what I did good on, and even when I met almost every criteria on the progress chart they gave me, it's like my preceptor wants me to get held back. I also feel like they have favoritism because the person they have preceptored before is just on the floor talking to them as if they are besties (and I know that person had an incident when they were on their own for 3 weeks and they didn't do ANY care for the other patient besides giving meds while the other patient was getting worse, they had to prone the patient in change of shift too). In the end, it's not even the unit itself. It's how my preceptor teaches me even though I had told them during my 2nd week I didn't want to change because I know they are knowledgeable and can help me, but I guess now they've been doing less of that. It's like they want me to regret that I didn't change preceptors... (I even remember when certain nurses looked at me when I told them who's the preceptor I had for the night shift as if I was in trouble). Honestly, I'm scared for what they're going to tell me during the meeting...

Sorry for the grammar mistakes this may have! My brain is all in shambles and I'm trying not to get depressed but I don't know what to do anymore.

kjstape, BSN, RN · Dec 4, 2022

This literally sounds like my life. The experiences, situations, gossip, etc sounds exactly like what I have experienced in nursing thus far. Maybe we've worked at the same places and had the same terrible preceptors. I had one of the nursing managers tell me that based on the feedback she received from my preceptor, I had not shown any improvement or progress in my first month on the floor. I mean REALLY?! Even if I was the laziest most stubborn nurse, it's impossible to spend a month on a unit and not make ANY progress. The hardest part is knowing that you are putting so much effort to be a good nurse (and be liked by other nurses on the floor) with no recognition whatsoever. I by no means need someone telling me I'm great 24/7 but it's really difficult to hear negative feedback and criticism for 13+ hours and maintain a positive attitude. I was venting to my mom recently and was telling her that the most exhausting part is constantly showing appreciation for the negative feedback while trying to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude the whole shift. I have always been one of those friendly people that could make friends with anyone but I also feel like the other nurses just don't like me as a person. This new challenge of making friends has made me question my character and also my self awareness of others perceptions of me as a person. I'm really hoping this new job will be different but also terrified it could be the same type environment. I was in tech/software sales for 7-8 years before doing a career 180 to go back to school for nursing and did an ABSN program. I have convinced myself up to this point that the sacrifice I have made so far will be worth it in the long run.. I just hope this new role will validate the career change and not make me question it all together. Keep me posted on your progress! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time but it's so reassuring knowing that you're not alone. Anytime you need to vent or share bullying stories I'm definitely your girl!

nursing_potato, ADN, LVN, RN · Dec 5, 2022

On 12/3/2022 at 9:00 PM, kjstape said:

This literally sounds like my life. The experiences, situations, gossip, etc sounds exactly like what I have experienced in nursing thus far. Maybe we've worked at the same places and had the same terrible preceptors. I had one of the nursing managers tell me that based on the feedback she received from my preceptor, I had not shown any improvement or progress in my first month on the floor. I mean REALLY?! Even if I was the laziest most stubborn nurse, it's impossible to spend a month on a unit and not make ANY progress. The hardest part is knowing that you are putting so much effort to be a good nurse (and be liked by other nurses on the floor) with no recognition whatsoever. I by no means need someone telling me I'm great 24/7 but it's really difficult to hear negative feedback and criticism for 13+ hours and maintain a positive attitude. I was venting to my mom recently and was telling her that the most exhausting part is constantly showing appreciation for the negative feedback while trying to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude the whole shift. I have always been one of those friendly people that could make friends with anyone but I also feel like the other nurses just don't like me as a person. This new challenge of making friends has made me question my character and also my self awareness of others perceptions of me as a person. I'm really hoping this new job will be different but also terrified it could be the same type environment. I was in tech/software sales for 7-8 years before doing a career 180 to go back to school for nursing and did an ABSN program. I have convinced myself up to this point that the sacrifice I have made so far will be worth it in the long run.. I just hope this new role will validate the career change and not make me question it all together. Keep me posted on your progress! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time but it's so reassuring knowing that you're not alone. Anytime you need to vent or share bullying stories I'm definitely your girl!

I think.. my preceptor is really setting me up for failure. I just had my meeting and I literally broke down to cry because I felt so betrayed by my own preceptor. They told them some issues I’ve had that NEVER happened or felt exaggerated and I wanted to defend myself but every time I do, my clinical sup/director takes it as an excuse. An example would be not going to codes if one happened during my shift, but I LITERALLY helped with one when I did CPR to a patient. Another one was I said something about not wanting to be a renal nurse because I didn’t want to sit down all the time and my preceptor proceeds to tell her CLIQUE (or basically other coworkers) and twisted it saying I didn’t want to do CRRT because all they do is sit when I never said anything about it. I feel like my preceptor wants them (clinical sup/director) to be in their favor of not wanting me to be an ICU nurse in their unit. The only question they gave me was if I was ready to be on my own, and I told them ofc you wouldn’t be because you’re never truly ready but my director told me there’s a difference between that and wants me to sit on it and tell them my final answer once I’m through my orientation. I broke down right in front of them too but that was because I just felt so betrayed by my preceptor and them telling lies about my progress…