kjstape

This literally sounds like my life. The experiences, situations, gossip, etc sounds exactly like what I have experienced in nursing thus far. Maybe we've worked at the same places and had the same terrible preceptors. I had one of the nursing managers tell me that based on the feedback she received from my preceptor, I had not shown any improvement or progress in my first month on the floor. I mean REALLY?! Even if I was the laziest most stubborn nurse, it's impossible to spend a month on a unit and not make ANY progress. The hardest part is knowing that you are putting so much effort to be a good nurse (and be liked by other nurses on the floor) with no recognition whatsoever. I by no means need someone telling me I'm great 24/7 but it's really difficult to hear negative feedback and criticism for 13+ hours and maintain a positive attitude. I was venting to my mom recently and was telling her that the most exhausting part is constantly showing appreciation for the negative feedback while trying to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude the whole shift. I have always been one of those friendly people that could make friends with anyone but I also feel like the other nurses just don't like me as a person. This new challenge of making friends has made me question my character and also my self awareness of others perceptions of me as a person. I'm really hoping this new job will be different but also terrified it could be the same type environment. I was in tech/software sales for 7-8 years before doing a career 180 to go back to school for nursing and did an ABSN program. I have convinced myself up to this point that the sacrifice I have made so far will be worth it in the long run.. I just hope this new role will validate the career change and not make me question it all together. Keep me posted on your progress! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time but it's so reassuring knowing that you're not alone. Anytime you need to vent or share bullying stories I'm definitely your girl!

I really feel for you. I graduated in Spring 2021 and started my job as an RN in a pediatric ICU step down unit in January 2021. The experience was really not what I was hoping for with very little training, consistency, staffing, resources etc. I was also passed between 5-6 different preceptors over my 3 month orientation which made things all that more challenging. While I learned a ton in my time on the unit, especially in regards to time management, prioritization, delegation, etc., at the end of my 3 month orientation my preceptor basically told me I wasn't cut out for the ICU. My preceptor approached me with the charge nurse and explained that this environment is not for everyone and it was in my best interest to pursue something else. I was completely blind sided and did not know how else to react other than to accept the feedback and walk away. After taking the weekend to think it over I immediately regretted my decision and reached out to nursing management and the education team explaining the situation and asking for feedback on their reasoning behind the decision and any feedback I could take away from the opportunity moving forward with my nursing career. I reached out another 2 times following the initial email and never heard back. I was heartbroken but forced to move on and accept the experience as a learning opportunity. I felt like the ultimate failure and began working with a therapist on my self esteem and rebuilding my confidence as a nurse. After a month or so I was offered an amazing job opportunity for a new grad program at one of the top childrens hospitals in the area. I was thrilled and felt that finally things were falling back into place. I started my job on the new pediatric unit with confidence that as part of the new grad program I would have more support and training to help me be successful as a new nurse. Despite speaking with the nursing manager during my interview, I completely misunderstood the high degree of acuity of the patient population and within the first week I felt like I was in over my heard. Training was not set to begin for 6 weeks into my onboarding process so I did everything I could to educate myself and learn anything and everything. I whole heartedly listened to every and any feedback from my preceptor, reached out to the nursing educator, started coming in early to read through patients charts, spent my days off perusing the nursing education share drive to educate myself, really anything I could do to keep my head above water until I had more formal training 6 weeks later. After 5 weeks the nursing manager sat me down and explained that my preceptor was having concerns about my progress and recommended that I consider taking 2 steps back in my nursing career and think about taking a job at a nursing home for a few years before bedside nursing. I again felt blindsided that my preceptor had never brought up her concerns to me in person and was devastated to be hearing this feedback for the first time from the nurse manager. I asked her to please give me a chance to prove myself and at least allow me the opportunity to participate in training that was only a week away. I heard back from her a day later and she wanted to schedule a meeting with her boss to discuss. Of course, I obliged and took the meeting and again was told that it was in my best interest to walk away from the organization, get experience elsewhere, and reapply when I had more experience and confidence as a nurse. More than ever I was completely heartbroken and felt like I had made the wrong career choice all together. These first 2 experiences gave me a terrible impression of what nursing has become and left me feeling like nursing has become a miserable profession with miserable people with very little empathy my new nurses. After dwelling in my anti nursing misery for a few weeks, I spoke with friends from nursing school and other friends who are nurses I was convinced to get back on the horse and reminded that not all nursing will be this way. I have decided to take a step back from pediatrics and take a position on a med surg unit at a smaller hospital where most patients will be stable. I start my new job in 2 weeks and I am terrified of being a failure once again. While I may have been in over my head on ICU type units, I know that my performance was really not as poor as I felt it was, I was just a new grad working on 2 very challenging units with little support. Being a new grad is so hard but keep your confidence and remember that you were smart enough to get through nursing school, pass the boards, and get to this point in your career. I really resonated with your experience and just wanted to remind you that you are not alone! Make the most of the additional 3 weeks of orientation and if it doesn't work out just remember you are not a failure, maybe this unit just wasn't the right fit for you. Rebuilding my confidence is a constant work in progress but I really do believe that there is something in nursing for everyone! Keep your head up and best of luck!

Yup same here..I received my acceptance letter yesterday afternoon and I had applied for the january 1st deadline. Congrats everyone!

@crcse51 I also applied for January 15th..still nothing yet