Feeling very inadequate

[HikingEDRN, BSN, RN]

So, this is my first semester in my ACNP concentration. I am in the ICU and I love it but I am really feeling inadequate. I guess this is normal? I feel like I barely have enough time to look up my patients and get the whole picture together in time for rounds. Then, I feel like I know the patient and have a game plan in place and the attending asks me a question that I am not prepared to answer.

I'm a very competent staff nurse and it's just strange to feel completely on top of my game two days a week (my staff RN job) and then a bumbling, stuttering slug the other two days (clinical).

Tonight, as I was leaving, I said to my preceptor, "I hate it that I'm used to feeling like the smart go to person and now I feel like..." She finished my sentence, "like you suck? I know it feels like that. It's okay, it gets better."

Just looking for some encouragement I hope she is right and it does get better.

[anh06005, MSN, APRN, NP]

I'm just finishing my FNP and I still feel incompetent but definitely better than my first clinical semester!! Even though I know I've improved and have a MUCH broader knowledge base the thought of me being the sole provider for people scares the crap out of me.

Just had our last class meeting this week and the instructors said as you finish your first year after graduation you finally start to feel like you know what you're doing.

If that's true we both still have a ways to go.

[Nursetonp]

I felt like I didn't know jack until I actually started working. And almost 3 years later, although I am more confident, i still have questions come up.Don't be afraid to ask questions- you may come across a jerk or two in your career, but it's always best to ask someone if you're not sure of something. It will be a life long learning process, but it WILL get better. Hang in there!

[Psychcns]

I think too the "pimping" practice where a senior person asks the underling quiz type questions about their patients is stressful. I know a lot of people find this helpful and it is a common method of teaching.

[HikingEDRN, BSN, RN]

I think too the "pimping" practice where a senior person asks the underling quiz type questions about their patients is stressful. I know a lot of people find this helpful and it is a common method of teaching.

I do agree that it is stressful but I have learned a lot from it. All of the attending MDs I have worked with have been very professional and they teach as they question me (and the other medical students/residents in the group). I'm sure it happens but I have never felt verbally abused or humiliated or anything like that. And Nursetonp, I am definitely asking many questions. Thanks so much for your responses :)

[babyNP., APRN]

Oh, I know how you feel. I worked while I was in school and it was hard having the dual role where some days you know exactly what you're doing and why and then in clinical...you feel like a new grad again. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but the difference I found was that I felt very inadequate as a new grad RN but as a student NP, I had more maturity to recognize that it's normal to feel so unsure and it's just another growth curve.

[carachel2]

Good for you! The students and new NPs who admit they feel inadequate are the ones I inherently trust because they realize they don't know it all and I know they will ASK instead of proceeding in a situation that could be dangerous.

We had two students in our class who were so arrogant and acted like they knew it all. It was interesting...one of them failed his boards like twice. If I ever saw his figure coming towards me in an ER where I was patient I kid you not I would be yelling my head off. No way in heck would he EVER touch me !

Cut yourself some slack, keep learning and keep asking. Being an NP is WAY different than being an RN.

[ghillbert, MSN, NP]

Yep, normal. After 2 years as an NP I often still come across things that make me feel like an idiot - but not quite as often