Feeling discouraged

[Zerocks]

I'm halfway done with nursing school and I can't help but feel a bit lonely and discouraged. I'm not particularly social. I'm introverted, soft spoken, and I'm told it shows negatively in clinical.

I had a patient my nurse told me to sit with while she took her lunch, and there was a CNA/ sitter in the same room with a different patient. She was a very kind, older woman with a southern accent, and told me she had been a CNA for 32 years. After a short conversation, she asked me why on earth I wanted to be a nurse. She went on to tell me I was too sweet and she couldn't see me as a nurse. She said "Sugar, those nurses eat people like you alive". She said to be a nurse you have to be outgoing, social, and make friends with the "right" people. "You have to be aggressive because those women are vicious". She said those people get the big paychecks, the promotions, the best shifts, and told me I'd be doing grunt work and getting the worst patients and shifts assigned to me with my personality. She said "Oh honey, you're going to get run over" as she laughed.

I've had two professors approach me and tell me I'm not confident enough. I've had classmates walk up to me and ask if I'm "ok". When I've asked why I've been told I have big eyes, so I always looked like a scared doe, or like I'm about to cry. I guess that's just my face?

When the nurses ask if I can do a procedure and I say yes, I always get the "Hmm well let's just have you watch this time". I've had patients question my age even though I'm in my late 20's. "Are you sure you're old enough to be a nurse?" I admit I have a high pitched voice, and look a bit younger than I am. They compliment my smile and how sweet I am- then request the nurse insert their Foley/ NG instead of the "little student nurse".

I sit in the back of the classroom, because when I sit up front people just move my stuff and take my seat. I don't have any friends in class. I shouldn't care, but with everyone's comments combined it is a bit disheartening. I'm not sure how to change things or appear more confident- because apparently I'm defective; my eyes are too big and my voice is too high. I know I should just put on my big girl panties and buck up- but does anyone have any advice? I've been called Josaphine from Scrubs

[al3x117, RN, EMT-B]

Keep your chin up! Listen many people will put you down but remember in your heart that you are one hell of a nurse and you will be far better than they will ever be. Keep up the strong work! I am also halfway in my nursing school education. I had a nurse who was rude to me and it was extremely frustrating to work with and even talk to. I will tell you a little secret. Be the best nurse for your patient. period. It's about your patient. Even if that sweet old lady told you that advice and even if it were true just keep your eyes open to what she said. The hospital is a challenging place. Remember that being a nurse is worth it even though we don't get the recognition always remember that its not about our own comforts that drives us to do this job. It's about the patients. Anyone who puts you down is just looking to prey on someone who they think is less of a person. Don't listen to them. Kill them with kindness and you focus on the nursing skills that you have to do. :) Best of luck!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Keep your chin up! Listen many people will put you down but remember in your heart that you are one hell of a nurse and you will be far better than they will ever be. Keep up the strong work! I am also halfway in my nursing school education. I had a nurse who was rude to me and it was extremely frustrating to work with and even talk to. I will tell you a little secret. Be the best nurse for your patient. period. It's about your patient. Even if that sweet old lady told you that advice and even if it were true just keep your eyes open to what she said. The hospital is a challenging place. Remember that being a nurse is worth it even though we don't get the recognition always remember that its not about our own comforts that drives us to do this job. It's about the patients. Anyone who puts you down is just looking to prey on someone who they think is less of a person. Don't listen to them. Kill them with kindness and you focus on the nursing skills that you have to do. :) Best of luck!

I find myself thoroughly confused. Do you know the poster in real life? If not, how do you know in your heart that she is one hell of a nurse and will better than they will ever be? In fact, how do you even know what "one hell of a nurse" looks like? If you're not even through your nursing education and out there on the job with some experience under your belt, you're not capable of judging who is, in fact a good nurse and who is not.

It is fine to attempt to be encouraging, especially in the absence of any concrete experience. But you don't know the poster, you don't know whether she is, in fact, "one hell of a nurse" or "better than they will ever be." Save such superlatives for when you have some experience and can actually compare and contrast a good nurse with a poor one.

[SaltySarcasticSally, LPN, RN]

You just need to be assertive and confident (even if you do not feel it), not aggressive. The CNA was right, nursing is FULL of aggressive and strong personalities.

I am not aggressive so it took me awhile to not be put off by it. I am assertive but not aggressive and to be honest it's my least favorite personality trait. I'm 29, have a higher voice, and look about 20. I was in LPN school at 19 and got all the comments you are getting now. I graduate with my RN in April and I have not gotten one single of those comments now because it is in how you present yourself. People say fake it till you make it and that's what I did. Now that doesn't mean you do not ask questions and go all willy nilly doing patient skills that you have no idea how to do, it just means you act like you got this after you actually made sure you really got it lol.

For while, I allowed the aggressive personalities in nursing to turn me into a a-hole because I was playing victim and felt like I was always trampled on and being taken advantage of. I used to take every dirty look or snide comment to heart and it would hurt! But I allowed it and that was the key for me to stop being like that because it was only making my life miserable.

So I went back to being the nice person I naturally am BUT I do not take on other people's bad moods, attitudes, aggressive ways, or comments anymore. I stand up for myself if its required because you need to so other people know you do not put up with that crap but I move on from it now once I do. I have confidence because I know I am a good co-worker and I work hard so if someone is being aggressive or rude I just ask them what in the world is going on or I just plain ignore it because I honestly don't care. This is a bit more lengthy than I planned but I do not want you to fall in the trap that I did when you actually get out into the field. Don't harden your heart just thicken your skin, it will be hard at first, but eventually you will gain confidence, will project confidence, and it will show in your work and manner with patients/co-workers. Good luck!

[AliNajaCat]

You need to watch this. It will change your life.

Susan Cain: The power of introverts | TED Talk | TED.com