i feel a rant coming on... things that make me mad!!

linda scottish nurse · Mar 27, 2006

well said i oftent get frustrated at peoples narrow mindness and judgement too your so right. I also hate other people judging someone elses quality of life?

And assuming all disabled people are drooling and down syndrome.

I want to punch narrow mindness people in the nose

linda

DDRN4me · Apr 5, 2006

Great post!! I love it when people say..ohhh you are sooo special to do such work! NOOOO I am the lucky one to have the PRIVILEDGE to CARE for these folks!!!!

Aussie19 · Apr 7, 2006

Great post!! I love it when people say..ohhh you are sooo special to do such work! NOOOO I am the lucky one to have the PRIVILEDGE to CARE for these folks!!!!

I agree this is the best job I have ever had and it's because of the clients who have so much to offer.

bethin · Apr 7, 2006

:angryfire community nurses who repeatedly call kids in their own home 'patients', special education teachers who call pads 'nappies', and parents wo feel so guilty about their child's disability (child acquired disability in early childhood) that they never visit, or even send birthday presents. :biggringi kid went to his key worker's house for christmas, parents declined to have him.
ah... that's my whinge, thanks for reading.

I loved your post. The last part made me cry. How could a parent abandon a child???? Even though the child is disabled doesn't mean they don't know who mom and dad are.

Makes me angry :angryfire

HeatherLPN · Apr 7, 2006

My part time job is at a group home and I absolutely love it--love my clients and spending time with them. They are people too, and are smarter than peolple give them credit for. I take my kids out there with me sometimes, b/c I want them to be comfortable around MR/DD. And the clients love it when my sons color with them and talk to them. There are 10 in each home--2 homes side by side, and each and every one of them has something special to offer.

It makes me so mad when the families, especially the ones that live in town don't bother with them. Every year at Thanksgiving they ask staff if they are interested in taking any clients for the day if they don't have family to go with. Sure there are behaviors and stuff sometimes, but for the most part my clients are functional and love to have a good time and be around people. Society wants to hide them away, and when we take them out (I don't get to so much anymore b/c I don't work the floor now), people stare and sometimes even look disgusted. They are people too, with feelings and it makes me so mad that others can be so ignorant.

LydiaNN · Apr 14, 2006

You know, on the radio the other day they were talking about something and I wish I could remember all the details. Someone was berating someone else for their portrayal of people with cerebral palsy. But the ''defenders''' statement was pretty backwards itself- it said something or other about how terrible it is to make fun of ''victims'' ''suffering'' from cerebral palsy. Gee, I'm a font of information, aren't I, lol? I can't remember the details- I was just pulling into the parking lot of work and knew if I stayed in the car to listen to any more, I'd #1) get sucked in and stay out in my car so long I was late and #2) get so worked up that it'd be hard to focus on work.

MissJoRN, RN · Apr 17, 2006

You know, on the radio the other day they were talking about something and I wish I could remember all the details. Someone was berating someone else for their portrayal of people with cerebral palsy. But the ''defenders''' statement was pretty backwards itself- it said something or other about how terrible it is to make fun of ''victims'' ''suffering'' from cerebral palsy. Gee, I'm a font of information, aren't I, lol? I can't remember the details- I was just pulling into the parking lot of work and knew if I stayed in the car to listen to any more, I'd #1) get sucked in and stay out in my car so long I was late and #2) get so worked up that it'd be hard to focus on work.

Maybe you're not a font of information, but I know what you mean! Not the exact radio show, but "that type" of person, like the OP said the "I'm such a hero because I pity" attitude, but who wants pity? Not any of the kids I know! Like the OP said, too, seeing a chair and thinking the lights are on but no-one's home. Maybe not everyroom in thouse gets visited by some of my homecare kids but they all have very strong personalities... and if you try to "pity" them... they know just how to take advantage of you and make your life harder, LOL! I don't think I've ever met a kid too hindered to manipulate nurses, therapists, teachers, and parents!

Anyway, your post reminds me that a local grocery store (it's a "boonie" town) has a collection "wishing well" set up that actually says "for crippled and burned children" It always jumps out at me... sometimes I wonder if it's just so old, no-one has bothered to update the terminology, sometimes I'm very offended by it, sometimes I feel sorry for the charitable people who will never know some terrific human beings. I know the club who runs it must think they are terrific people with a special spot in heaven because they're helping... and they are helping, but yet, the way they're doing it is spreading an unhelpful image!

lpn3324 · Apr 19, 2006

I am working in a cluster home for MR/DD and I am SOOO tired of direct care staff that think that all of our clients(consumers) should be treated like babies,they range in age from 18-63. On the other hand I love the workers who will take time to put make-up on the ladies before thay go to day program,or comb the guys' hair, My all time biggest beef is parents/families that call to say that bthey bwill visit on a particular date,and then don't show. I am not the hero for taking care of these people,they are the heroes for putting up with me

goats'r'us, ASN, RN · Jun 28, 2006

i have another thing to add (you guys probably think all i do is whinge!)

:angryfire people who think it's ok to come up and ask personal questions about the kids like they're some science exhibit.

i was in a chemist (again) with one of the kids and this woman came up and started firing off questions at me about how the kid's disability affected him. like 'can he talk?' 'can he walk?' 'can he feed himself?' 'does he understand what you say to him?' 'what does he do all day?' 'are you related to him?'. i felt like yelling that this woman was so rude! if i went up to a parent in a shop one day and said 'so... your boy there.. is he toilet trained? does he wash himself in the shower? what time's his bed time?', i'd expect them to yell at me!

but then, some people are so brilliant. i was at a really busy market with the biggest of the boys (thing big wheelchair, me behind it unable to see the kid's feet, leaving me liable to run into people's ankles), and i was trying to get onto this path to get into a park, but this steady stream of people just kept pushing past me, till one guy actually left his friends, came over and 'directed traffic' for me. it was the nicest thing, and then he introduced himself to the boy i was with and shook his hand. i was like 'wow, you're awesome!'

prmenrs, RN · Jun 28, 2006

Next time someone comes up to you like that and asks questions that are none of their business, try this response: "For what reason do you wish this information?" They will probably not persist, and may even think twice next time. At least one could hope....

JohnBearPA · Jun 28, 2006

a little history.. i worked for a while in a group home with four awesome teenagers who were profoundly disabled and a whole heap of in-house politics.
throughout this time, and since, i got really sick of the following:
:angryfire people who see the chair and think the lights are on but no-one's home.
i was in a chemist with one of the boys, and this really nosy woman came up to me and without so much as a hello, started harping on about how sad it is to see a young life so tragically hindered. the kid blew the biggest raspberry at her (like the spit-flying-thunderous type). all i could do was say 'well, i think he speaks for the both of us' and walk away in hysterics. her face was PRICELESS!
:angryfire people who think that they're heroes for working with disabled people. (this is not to say that there aren't heroes out there, but that heroes do more than turn up every day)
one of the ladies i worked with, who i never liked, invited her middle-aged daughter to meet the kids. she told us her daughter was interested in working in disabilities, but her reaction to the kids proved that to be a big, fat lie (she looked at them like they were **** on her shoe), and it was pretty clear my collegue was just trying to show what a good person she thought she was, working with those poor, helpless kids. i nearly threw up in my tea listening to her go on in her most compassionate voice about how they needed her to do everything for them, but oh, it was so nice to be able to give them a decent life.
:angryfire making a spectacle of already distinctive kids.
took the guys shopping, and out basic rule was when the kids are out, they leave their chest-plates (like upper-body seatbelts that held them up straight) because, well, people stared enough without us making the kids look even less able by visibly strapping them in. anyway, this day, the lady pushing our only girl's chair didn't take off her chest-plate, and then when it got cold, she couldn't be bothered undoing it, so put the girl's jacket on hher backwards, with the big fluffy collar under her chin. she then proceeded to make up the poor kid like a barbie doll. we made her take off her own jacket, put it on backwards and walk about for a while like it.
:angryfire people who presume the kids have miserable lives.
my nan said to me once 'it must be heartbreaking, seeing the poor children like that. do you ever cry?'. my response? 'are you kidding? have you ever tried out one of those chairs?' honest. we got the kids out of their chairs and onto the lawn, and while they were enjoying the feeling of grass, we tried out the electric chairs. the kids thought it was hilarious, and we had so much fun.. :chuckle
:angryfire people who dress disabled kids like, well, retards.
(i want to point out, i use the word retard only to describe the appearance i mean)
on christmas day, we each had one kid to wash, dress, feed and get ready to go to their parents' place. one colleague (the same one who brought her daughter in), dressed her boy in a dress shirt, board shorts, long socks and black dress shoes, and couldn't understand why we wanted her to go back and change him. she flatly refused, and i did it myself.
similarly, the only time i ever did cry at work is when we took the boys to get haircuts, and the barber had no patience with them, was forcibly pushing on their heads to keep them still, while the kids were crying and i was holding their hands, crying right along, and all three boys came out with the same 'retard' haircut. short back and sides, longer on top, combed down flat down on their foreheads. we went straight to the chemist, got a hairgel tester and messed them up!
:angryfire adults who stare.:stone
i didn't mind if kids stared, i mean, they're only kids, and our guys look different, but adults should know better!
:angryfire community nurses who repeatedly call kids in their own home 'patients', special education teachers who call pads 'nappies', and parents wo feel so guilty about their child's disability (child acquired disability in early childhood) that they never visit, or even send birthday presents. :biggringi kid went to his key worker's house for christmas, parents declined to have him.
ah... that's my whinge, thanks for reading.

I work in LTC, and many of these also fit that scenario. What really p*sses me off is when a CNA dresses an elderly lady in a short skirt, the most colorful socks and t-shirt she can find in the closet, and puts her hair into pigtails! If they have time to do the make-up on the poor woman, they usually do it like they would if they were going out on a Saturday night! Age appropriate refers to the age of the resident, not the staf member dressing her!