Feel like giving up

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I got a needs improvement on my last careplan. In general I feel like a failure though. I feel like I can't do anything right. I am the mom to two special needs kids, I work full time, am in my last semester of nursing school and I feel like just giving up. I feel weepy and emotional most of the time at home. I don't care about eating and I'm not sleeping well b/c I keep thinking of all the things I need to do. On top of that I can't afford to go to the doctor because I have not met my deductible.

The day I wrote my careplan the surgeon told me my son had a growth in his mouth that needs to be surgically removed. I am so worried about it. He's my son and I love him. Yet if I want to pass nursing school I feel like I need to put off having the growth removed so that I can focus on learning how to provide good care. I love my son so much though and I'm scared if I push through and try to take care of it I will fail nursing school because it is such a huge commitment. Obviously I doubt I have what it takes to be a good nurse. Instead of doing a good job on my careplan I sat with my son after his procedure and took his blood pressure, cleaned him up after he vomited 6 times, prevented him from getting up and falling he was at home after but still so dizzy and I prioritized things wrong.....but I just love him. The floor is wooden and if he had fallen or on the stairs I'm afraid he would have really hurt himself.....and I had to be one on one with him. Nobody at the nursing school would understand ....

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I’m sorry for your situation. If all this is true I would just try to take a LOA.

careplans are the most pointless thing in nursing school and the ability to perform on them has no bearing on future ability of being a nurse. They are an utter waste of time. Do what you feel you need to do to pass. What they exactly is I do not know since I do not know your situation.

careplans are dumb just do the minimum to pass the program so you can start working. Do you have a SO that helps?

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I'm sorry for what you're going through. It seems that you are drained, & I think you should take a leave of absence. I think you just need to take a break from school, it's probably not something you want because you're almost finished. But, you need to take care of yourself before things get worse.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Obviously you need to prioritize this growth in your son's mouth over anything else. You also need to prioritize your mental health.

Most schools have on campus counselors. You need to see one yesterday. You have a lot on your plate and you aren't going to get any comfort or answers in your current emotional state. Get some help. Nursing school will always be there.

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Specializes in certified orthopedic nurse.

First of all, Kudzui is lying to you. Care plans are not dumb, they are required for all patients admitted to a healthcare facility and have to be updated in order for the facility to maintain accreditation and Medicare reimbursement. They are, in fact, "real" life nursing.

That out of the way....you got a "needs improvement" which is understandable, since you were not able to give it your best effort what with an ill child. Whatever you didn't do, do for the next care plan and improve as best you can. I once got a "frowny face" on a care plan and burst out crying in the hall of the hospital (no sleep, sick kid) but I learned a lot from having to re-do the care plan. My critically ill, ventilator supported patient probably did not care that my kid was sick. But that night, my kid was my priority, just as yours was to you. you will learn, and do better.

You sound overwhelmed and depressed. You are in your final stretch of nursing school. Don't give up! I understand about not being able to afford a doctor visit, but please see student health or counseling asap!! You have a lot to carry and there is help.

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I feel like I am depressed and yet I think it is more situational than anything else. My nursing instructor told me to do better on my last nursing school careplan which I have this week. I have three weeks left of clinicals, in four weeks I have my finals. My last school day is December 11th. I have two assignments due. I also have two tests and than a final. My final is worth 5% of the material and I'm very familiar with the test topic next week.

I have the 18th, 19, 21st and 22nd off from work this month. I also have the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of December off from work.

As for my son they need to surgically remove the growth and biopsy it and we are going to the oral surgeon on the 2nd of December the soonest we could get in.

You have to have a referral to see the counselor and my nursing instructor strongly suggested it would be better for me to not be seen as mentally unstable. I've told nobody outside of family(my husband about the growth). I have figured out that this is what has me utterly distraught.....

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Specializes in certified orthopedic nurse.

Yikes! I hoope that wasn't your psych nursing instructor.

Just because it's situational doesn't mean it's not real.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
15 hours ago, Cmanursestudenta said:

I feel like I am depressed and yet I think it is more situational than anything else. My nursing instructor told me to do better on my last nursing school careplan which I have this week. I have three weeks left of clinicals, in four weeks I have my finals. My last school day is December 11th. I have two assignments due. I also have two tests and than a final. My final is worth 5% of the material and I'm very familiar with the test topic next week.

I have the 18th, 19, 21st and 22nd off from work this month. I also have the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of December off from work.

As for my son they need to surgically remove the growth and biopsy it and we are going to the oral surgeon on the 2nd of December the soonest we could get in.

You have to have a referral to see the counselor and my nursing instructor strongly suggested it would be better for me to not be seen as mentally unstable. I've told nobody outside of family(my husband about the growth). I have figured out that this is what has me utterly distraught.....

Do NOT listen to your nursing instructor. That advice is downright irresponsible. Nobody would know you sought assistance, first of all - HIPAA laws and all that. Second, there isn't a BON in the USA that is going to ding you for getting help with potential clinical depression and/or anxiety. Lastly, and most importantly, you MUST take care of you or you don't have a prayer of having anything left to care for your child and even less so to care for strangers.

Get. some. help. You deserve to feel better.

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Your health and that of your son needs to take priority for now. Please get help.

And care plans as a formal exercise might not be relevant to every day nursing, but if you are a good nurse, you ARE making mental care plans every day as you prioritize your care and anticipate problems before they happen so that you can head them off. So they are not a "total waste of time." We just don't think of the mental exercises we engage in as we plan our day and consider our patients' needs as "care plans." But that's actually what they are.

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I have an appt with my PCP and I'm going to discuss my depression with him. I have begun writing down things such as food intake, sleep, and such. I have good and bad days the bad days are related to my sleep cycle having major disruption. I tend to be so much more depressed on days when I am short on sleep. Taking time off work is going to help. I did a lot better on my last careplan... I have work Saturday and Sunday and then off quite a bit next week. I'm very relieved....I plan on studying and getting my son's paperwork in. I am still crying nightly but doing better about being put together during the day...I still feel utterly defeated. I have one more week of clinical where I will need childcare which is a huge stress producer. I have decided to be kinder to myself....which includes bathing daily, putting my make up on daily, and doing my hair....I still feel utterly sad....

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On 11/12/2019 at 4:42 PM, Cmanursestudenta said:

I feel like I am depressed and yet I think it is more situational than anything else. My nursing instructor told me to do better on my last nursing school careplan which I have this week. I have three weeks left of clinicals, in four weeks I have my finals. My last school day is December 11th. I have two assignments due. I also have two tests and than a final. My final is worth 5% of the material and I'm very familiar with the test topic next week.

I have the 18th, 19, 21st and 22nd off from work this month. I also have the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of December off from work.

As for my son they need to surgically remove the growth and biopsy it and we are going to the oral surgeon on the 2nd of December the soonest we could get in.

You have to have a referral to see the counselor and my nursing instructor strongly suggested it would be better for me to not be seen as mentally unstable. I've told nobody outside of family(my husband about the growth). I have figured out that this is what has me utterly distraught.....

That is completely unprofessional for your instructor to say that. You're human and can seek help to deal with these very difficult issues.

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