Published Nov 13, 2019
TESSIENP
24 Posts
An hpmp participant for almost 4 years. Recently a urine showed positive nitrites and I was asked if I had adulterated. Of course, no. And the split sample was repeated. I didn't hear anything, didn't have anything to hide, assumed all was good. 2.5 months go by and "BAM!" A CALL AT WORK STATING IVE ADULTERATED MY URINE. Stop practice. States nitrites were too high. Awaiting "staffing"
Indiana
35 Posts
That could mean bacteria, like UTI. That’s the first thing that comes up in a google search. Have you had any tests since then?
Lots. It has to be contamination. But, on pins and needles to see how HPMP finds it. Could be immediately dismissed from program. Sucks, because it could happen to any of us. An error on the side of someone else, costing careers ( I'm ready to fight this, though)
I've never had any positive tests. Over 3 years in the program.
Agreed, it’s my biggest fear in this program. Keep us posted on how it goes. Keep fighting the fight.
SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN
1,847 Posts
It is the biggest fear. God I’m praying for you. I don’t know what to say except this is simply wrong. This presumption of guilt nonsense is amoral and treating these tests as infallible is brainless. There must be a defense to this and I guess there is through the courts but (as they well know I’m sure) most of us can not afford a protracted court fight. I’ll say prayer for you and know all to well that it could be me or anybody who suffers in this purgatory standing in your shoes
Its 1130pm. I can't sleep worried about this. I can remember the feelings of guilt and shame in active addiction, and I hate that this feels similar.
Made an appt with my psychologist for tomorrow, even if this pans out to be the error it is, it is extremely unjust. And, could it happen again?!!
My program automatically dismissed me for intentional adulteration of urine. Now waiting to see if employer will let me go because of HPMP report. My lawyer has recommended a polygraph, which is my next step in this process.
For HPMP to be a program to help us, this sure isn't. Being wrongly accused is defamation. We'll see how the board takes the information, and if they take action on my licences.
I did not touch my urine or take anything to hide anything, but will have to deal with the fallout of this false accusation for years. I will be cleared.
God I hope so.
KyBeagle, ASN
144 Posts
@TESSIENP OMG- I’m so sorry to hear this. You’ve experienced what each & every one of us have feared the most. You can read through this entire forum, and through the years the biggest fear is being accused of a random unintentional etg, or something else “funky” with the urine specimen, of which we’re completely innocent & have no control.
I’m glad to see that you’re not rolling over & quitting, that you have the spunk & determination (and able to afford) to follow through with an attorney & fight to prove your innocence -in a program where your guilty until proven innocent.
Or, In other words, @SpankedInPittsburgh says it best:
On 11/13/2019 at 8:54 PM, SpankedInPittsburgh said:This presumption of guilt nonsense is amoral and treating these tests as infallible is brainless.
This presumption of guilt nonsense is amoral and treating these tests as infallible is brainless.
Did they not offer any other recourse to “prove” yourself? A hair test? I would probably go about getting a hair test that goes back 6 months. Perhaps that, in combination with the polygraph test, will help you in front of the BON. I googled HPMP. Is this Virginia? Unfortunately, I don’t know much about their program or the VA BON as I haven’t see many posts from Virginia nurses.
You’ve never had a positive test. What about anything else? Dilute urines? Have you always been up to date with paperwork? AA/NA Meeting attendance on par? Any missed check-ins or missed tests? If you’ve always been on time/compliant gather EVERYTHING that shows your compliance over 3+ years, to present with the polygraph (and hair test, if obtained). If you’ve been late on anything, go ahead & write down the reasoning/explanation now, so everything will be in order later.
I completely get what you mentioned earlier about reliving the shame. That was my biggest challenge in therapy. But YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! Keep your head up, be confident, and know that you have a forum full of nurses supporting you.
We’re rooting for you, @TESSIENP! My heart goes out to you. You will definitely be in my prayers. PLEASE keep us updated!
I relapsed in the program over 1 year ago. I self reported. The only positive test was then. Since then, you would not believe the things I've done and been required to do by HPMP; taking naltrexone, having coworkers witness me taking naltrexone twice a week, I had to go inpatient ( kept 28 days), repeated IOP, for 6 weeks, besides weekly urine, blood appx every 6th week, I wanted to see a counselor, it was made a part of my contract and had to go weekly for almost 1 year, and "no", I'd never been late on paperwork or missed a check in before or after my relapse, as mentioned no positive urines or diluted ( with exception of the relapse)
I hadn't thought about the hair testing as extra proof, I will do that with the polygraph. My therapist (which I had to go back to, to deal with this ***), is going to give me alcohol swab tests, and I'm going to continue with every 3rd week blood tests.
I wish I could say I haven't thought of drinking, but when I was told of my dismissal, I certainly thought of it. But, I do have a sponsor and I have a cadesuces group.
I used my resources, I used my program, and ONE DAY, ONE FRACTION OF A DAY, I'll get through this.
Now, I'm waiting to see how long my employer will keep me. That's another conundrum, because I actually resigned the Friday before I received the news from HPMP. My mind thinks they will assume I new this was coming, and believe I actually did something. Oh..., I was told the board will make a decision on my licences next week
And I know I spelled cadeuces wrong ?
So, I have completed the polygraph and had a hair follicle test. I've also continued my daily check ins. I'm thankful to whomever informed me to do so, because I was picked yesterday. I contacted my CM to ask if I was supposed to complete it, being I was informed by her of dismissed from the program. And, she told me I hadn't been dismissed. WHAT!!??!!
She told me and my HR rep i had been "urgently dismissed ", and now she's saying "nope, I didn't say that"
Myself and my HR rep were also told the BON would make a decision early this week. I spoke with the deputy of advanced practice providers with the BON at 430 this afternoon, they've not received a report, its still with HPMP.
How can such life alternating and damning information be so incompetently delivered? What if I'd not had a support group, what if..,
I'm so very confused at this point. And tired, very tired. This is worse than a rollercoaster, it's a wheel barrel rolling down a steep incline, and I'm locked inside
I’m very happy to hear that you got BOTH the hair test AND the polygraph. That will help. At least it’s much better that doing nothing. It sure won’t hurt to have added these to your orificenal.
I was very fortunate to have had an awesome Case Manager that ALWAYS responded the same day to ANYTHING I needed. However, I’ve read many other horror stories on this forum, where nurses waited weeks for a response or received vague or conflicting advice/information. It sound like the same situation that you’re in. I know that you’re frustrated & probably pulling your hair out. You’re very smart to have an attorney because you may need him at some point. You’re being very proactive. Best of luck! Still thinking about you! Keep posting...