Evolution of my nursing career, the hard way.

[MrsSilverFox, BSN, LPN, RN]

It is usually the early hours of a night shift when I would dream of working a day job.

That is really what gets me into trouble, the daydreaming.

On one of those magical nights when every call bell in the place is ringing and you find yourself short staffed and exhausted, I found myself wondering what it would be like not to be a bedside nurse.

Then BAM, it happened.

I jumped in half awake wondering what on earth could go wrong? Well, let me say, "absolutely everything has gone wrong". I have taken a job that I wasn't looking for ( not in the real job hunting sort of way ) and have landed in a land of backstabbing and storytelling, some of the best I have ever heard.

There is no real direction and no orientation what so ever. I was shown where my office was and told that this is where I would come every day from now to eternity. Wowza even saying it out loud makes me uneasy. Now I understand the evil laugh that followed those statements made by my professional assistant. Coincidentally she quit the next day and said: "well the department is all yours now and I wish you luck, you will need it".

It has been nothing that I have ever experienced before.

Management has left me wanting a different life and wanting to be the best nurse I could possibly be if the outlined expectations for a manager are as they seem. It really has nothing at all to do with patient safety or patient experience it is all about the money and who and what can we cut. The expectation of working 50 hours a week and only getting paid for 38 has left me experiencing a great deal of anger and frustration. I am drowning in paperwork and although the staff would argue to the contrary I don't ever get to have lunch or even get a fresh coffee. I am in constant conflict with my directors and am fighting for those exact people's jobs that are talking trash about my abilities. Unbeknownst to them, I saved jobs today, making me less than popular at the director's meetings. Yes, we will have to do without for the expensive dressings and certain personal care items like warm wipes that everyone has become accustomed too but in the end, for me anyway, it is all about patient and staff safety.

I once mentioned it in a manger meeting (out of total frustration I have to admit), that "not once in all our ongoing meetings has anyone brought forth patient safety or patient care, only about money and budgets, am I the only person here that finds this wrong". Well, you could have heard a pin drop, I guess I was the only one.

Now after this experience I want to return to the bedside and have promised myself that if I do end up getting a job in the near future I will never again complain or look for anything new ever again.

My life changed when I entered this area of madness and wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless you are willing to sit through meetings that never resolve anything and nights of total anxiety as you know that there are not enough hours in the day to complete everything on your list. Although this is only my humble opinion.

I suspect, due to my big mouth, I will be asked to leave the current management position that I hold, after all, who wants someone in the driver's seat who cares more about the passengers than the actual bus?

Just wanted to put it in writing and revisit this post when I think I want to do anything other than critical care nursing.

[FSZ Student Nurse, RN]

I'm so sorry to hear how rough this has been for you. It's hard when people don't appreciate what you do for them. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and most importantly, for advocating for your nurses and patients.

Best wishes.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah management is a tough gig & when you factor going from an hourly employee to a salaried one it doesn't really even seem to be that profitable. I wish you luck. Be careful what you wish for is a lesson I've learned the hard way myself. I knew management wasn't for me so when it came time to go to grad school I picked the NP route. Good Luck to you & finds a decent route outta hell

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I made it through 10/12 classes thinking that nursing management would be a good fit for me. I've been in long term care where the nurse managers are on the patient floors daily, and they could be as involved as they're willing to be. Enter classes 11 & 12 where I precepted with an actual nurse manager in a hospital. Uh, no. Not for me. I finished the degree because I didn't want to throw away four years of school work, but I will probably never work a day as a nurse manager. I like patients. I have patience for patients. I have no patience for meetings, employees with issues- real or imagined, budgets and more meetings. My perception of what a nurse manager would do was so wrong before school, I wish I had known more and would have chosen a different program. Oh well, live and learn. I started my AGACNP program this week.

Good luck to you!!

[CharleeFoxtrot, BSN, RN]

So sorry that the OP had to go through that. I can empathize, I could have written that post. It mirrored experience when I was (briefly) a floor manager. I quickly decided that I was not a good manager in the corporate sense of the word and lasted 10 months before I went back to the floor.