--that you would ever feel so tired (both mentally and physically)
--that you could not go back another day (because your confidence was shaken)
--that you are so afraid to make mistakes
--that you'd lay awake going through the day feeling like you forgot to do something or that you did something wrong
--that you're preceptors haven't prepared you for having a full load of pts
--that management/HR recruiters/educators/professors have lied to you, promising all these great opportunities but really nursing is full of horizontal abuse and has a crazy learning curve
--that you will never learn how to manage your time/organize your day
--that you were thrown to the wolves
--that this profession is harder than anything you've done in the past
--that you wish that staffing ratios were more fair
--that the floor gossip would be this mean
???
i have been a nurse for 5 months and i already feel such a lack of confidence, security or hope. i was wondering if these thoughts were common, or if it's all in my head.
Specializes in Peds leukemia, APON, GI in a clinic.
Hey LiLCHRiSSYRN, I have been in peds for 2 1/2 yrs. now and totally love it. My wife said I would because I am the biggest kid she knows. As for pointers, learn the different values for lytes for the little ones (under 20 kg) and develope some thick skin. Parents seem to come in three styles on peds floors. First are the ones who are scared, mad or unfunctional for some reason and you can't fix their baby fast enough or good enough. The second ones are the know-it-all ones who are smarter than the doc's, because they looked it up on the internet. The vast majority of parents are terrific and truely supportive of the team working on their baby. You will need the thick skin on a peds floor when working with the families of the first and second types, and so you don't cry your eyes out for the littles ones when you are working with the third type of terrific families.
Good to hear that enjoyment can be found in this feild. I hope that there are others as well.
Hey LiLCHRiSSYRN, I have been in peds for 2 1/2 yrs. now and totally love it. My wife said I would because I am the biggest kid she knows. As for pointers, learn the different values for lytes for the little ones (under 20 kg) and develope some thick skin. Parents seem to come in three styles on peds floors. First are the ones who are scared, mad or unfunctional for some reason and you can't fix their baby fast enough or good enough. The second ones are the know-it-all ones who are smarter than the doc's, because they looked it up on the internet. The vast majority of parents are terrific and truely supportive of the team working on their baby. You will need the thick skin on a peds floor when working with the families of the first and second types, and so you don't cry your eyes out for the littles ones when you are working with the third type of terrific families.
I've read a lot online about a lot of nurses hating their jobs (not that I'm saying you guys do, lol), feeling stressed and overwhelmed, etc, but it makes it even more real reading all your posts and knowing a lot of you feel that way as well. I'm in nursing school (about to embark on my 2nd yr...if I remain in nursing) and feel the way a lot of you guys feel: incompetence, stressed, lack of confidence in my abilities, etc, so imagine how I'll feel when I graduate and get a nursing job. Best of luck to you all.
I am starting my pre-requisite classes, and this scaring the heck out of me...is it really that bad?
I worked as an insurance claims adjuster and was ok w/the fast pace, but wanted a career where I could actually help people...
that said, there's nothing I hate more than feeling inadequate. The idea that school/clinicals/orientation does not leave you sufficiently prepared does scare me.
--that you would ever feel so tired (both mentally and physically)
Yes. But then, I'm an old fart, so it's nothing new.
--that you could not go back another day (because your confidence was shaken)
No. But then, I'm an old fart, and I quit fighting myself decades ago. There are enough things to fight without making things worse.
--that you are so afraid to make mistakes
No. I'm not afraid. I'm either comfortable or I ask for help, no shame in that.
--that you'd lay awake going through the day feeling like you forgot to do something or that you did something wrong
No. Not that I haven't reviewed things in detail when I get breathing space, in fact that's a life habit. But if I left something undone, I go back right away and do it ASAP regardless of how inconvenient it may be.
--that you're preceptors haven't prepared you for having a full load of pts
No. I realized they could only orient me. The burden of preparing to carry a full load properly fell on my shoulders. And besides, it doesn't work to have someone else try to adapt my own peculiar habits and ways of thinking to the work situation. Only I know myself well enough to do that task adequately.
--that management/HR recruiters/educators/professors have lied to you, promising all these great opportunities but really nursing is full of horizontal abuse and has a crazy learning curve
No. But I didn't listen to anyone. I got out there and looked and listened for myself to get a realistic picture of what I'd be getting into, and I have not been disappointed.
--that you will never learn how to manage your time/organize your day
No. I had faith in myself. I haven't survived these many years without knowing that nothing is possible without faith in oneself.
--that you were thrown to the wolves
No. One time I discussed trust with my wife, who had been disappointed by someone. I said sure I trust people. I trust people to act like themselves and never deviate from it. So I watch and listen. And I don't try to get them to act like someone else. Easier to repeal the Law of Gravity than the laws that govern human nature.
--that this profession is harder than anything you've done in the past
Yes. And I've never been so excited to go to work in my life, either.
--that you wish that staffing ratios were more fair
No. I just noticed staffing ratios were better in some job situations than others, and I refused to consider the chronic offenders.
--that the floor gossip would be this mean
Finally you asked a question I can't answer, because I have no idea what the floor gossip says.
For all that the Diploma programs were/are maligned, I gotta say, when I started working, there weren't a lot of surprises. Even the 1st summer, we were assigned a room w/4 pts, whatever was in there was ours--meds, baths, treatments, beds. Everything. For an entire 8 hr shift.
Yes, we had instructors if we needed them or were doing something new, and they came around. We also worked weekends and holidays and then the floor RN was our supervisor. We were "team leaders"--that meant we passed meds for every pt that didn't belong to another student. Our senior year, we worked pm's and nights, often there wasn't an RN on our side of the floor, so we were "in charge". If we had a problem, we had to run to the other side to get their RN
If anything, I was surprised that there were so many RNs in my new situation; I also missed having my familiar instructors, and missed being in a learning situation--we needed to "get the work done" 1st.
I really feel bad for you. Nursing can be a great thing to do. It can be fun; it can be rewarding (well, maybe not financially); it can break your heart; it can question your faith; it can reinforce your faith. Unfortunately, you've got to get to where you feel comfortable before you can appreciate all of that.
IN NO WAY am I suggesting we go back to the 'bad ole days', and the pts are sooo very much different than back then, as are hospitals.
I'm just so sorry you have to go thru this--seems like an unnecessary hazing to me. And it's not like we have nurses to waste by killing them in the 1st year.
Just know that we care what happens to you. Hang it there. If you are feeling totally miserable in your current situation, look around for a new place. It might be in the same hospital, different unit; it's better if you can stay in the same facility, but if not, move. Weigh the benefits of changing jobs vs staying and trying to work it out in your present position.
anonymurse,,,,,,,,you will never fully realize how desperately I needed to hear what you said.
YES,,I was feeling the same way as the original poster. I"m 53 and have worked hard all my life and was good at what I did. Two jobs, about 13 years each. I was let go when the last company folded and I was in shock. Within the next four years I had worked at two different companies,,watched my Mom die a painful death, gave up my apartment and moved in with my Dad who was developing dementia and took care of him until he died March 2006. I know he didnt mean the things he said or did to me during that time, but it still wounded me deeply. Still, I went to nursing school trying to feel confident. I sailed through and passed my state boards, easy peasy. My first LTC job was awful. I was scared to death and overwhelmed. I quit after my first night. A few months later I worked for an OP Rehab Facility and stayed there a month, got pneumonia, they had a problem with me taking cough medicine with codeine, I was sick, so I quit. Months went by and I decided to have bariatric surgery Jan 29, 2007. Adter losing 40 pounds I got a job at a ALF. Wonderful place,,people were ok,,then one day my 13 year old chihuahua got mauled and I had to put her to sleep,,then 2 hours later, go to work. That night, I gave meds to the wrong resident. Adter all was done that night, I walked out and never went back. SO,,here I sit, no job because I'm too scared to try again. I've been in therapy to help me learn how to overcome my fear of failure.
SOOOOOOOOOO,,,having said all that,,,,just reading your post made me realize that I AM strong and I CAN do anything to which I set my mind. Time to get off the 'Pity Pot' and retake control of my destiny. Bless you for being honest and forthright.
anonymurse,,,,,,,,you will never fully realize how desperately I needed to hear what you said.
YES,,I was feeling the same way as the original poster. I"m 53 and have worked hard all my life and was good at what I did. Two jobs, about 13 years each. I was let go when the last company folded and I was in shock. Within the next four years I had worked at two different companies,,watched my Mom die a painful death, gave up my apartment and moved in with my Dad who was developing dementia and took care of him until he died March 2006. I know he didnt mean the things he said or did to me during that time, but it still wounded me deeply. Still, I went to nursing school trying to feel confident. I sailed through and passed my state boards, easy peasy. My first LTC job was awful. I was scared to death and overwhelmed. I quit after my first night. A few months later I worked for an OP Rehab Facility and stayed there a month, got pneumonia, they had a problem with me taking cough medicine with codeine, I was sick, so I quit. Months went by and I decided to have bariatric surgery Jan 29, 2007. Adter losing 40 pounds I got a job at a ALF. Wonderful place,,people were ok,,then one day my 13 year old chihuahua got mauled and I had to put her to sleep,,then 2 hours later, go to work. That night, I gave meds to the wrong resident. Adter all was done that night, I walked out and never went back. SO,,here I sit, no job because I'm too scared to try again. I've been in therapy to help me learn how to overcome my fear of failure.
SOOOOOOOOOO,,,having said all that,,,,just reading your post made me realize that I AM strong and I CAN do anything to which I set my mind. Time to get off the 'Pity Pot' and retake control of my destiny. Bless you for being honest and forthright.
Dear DTC,
I'm so sorry about what you have had to go through in the last few years. I am around your age, this is also my 2nd career, and I also went through a parent dying in the last few years. You have had to deal with so many losses, it's hard to try to adjust to a new job/field when you are healing from your past experiences. I know that I finally found a hospital floor where the staff was pretty supportive, and I was able to gain confidence.
Please take care, and good luck to you. You are obviously a strong woman, having survived what you have! You WILL succeed!
I graduated in May 2007 and am feeling the same way you are. I was offered a job in CCU- worked one week and the unit shut down????!!. So I was put in ICU. The nurses there treated me like I was so stupid. I talked to the manager and was told by her that the nurses on that unit were like family and I would be part of the family until I did something to not be part of the family??? I was also told that you had to prove yourself before you were accepted. So I asked to be put on another floor. I was sent to Med/Surg where the ratio was 7 on days and 8 on midnights. I am 1 month into orientation and am ready to bolt!! It has been a nightmare. My "preceptor" does no precepting at all. One day I had an order to infuse platelets. She walked me down to the lab and we picked up the platelets. I asked for help because I had never done this before and thought with a something this serious somebody should at least be standing in the background watching to see that I did it right. She told me to grab normal IV tubing and run it wide open. Then she turned around and started narc count and told me she was in the middle of that and that I would be fine to hang it by myself. I grabbed another nurse and asked her opinion and she preceeded to tell me that you needed special tubing (I thought I remembered that from school) and that you also needed to hang some NS along with it (I also thought I remembered that from school). The whole orientation has gone like this. Last week I went in and was informed that I was going to night shift (the next night). I was actually relieved because I thought I would have a new preceptor and it wouldn't be so crazy maybe at night. WRONG!!! I was oriented by another orientee!!!! She had been there 2 months and knew about as much as me!!! I know I should just go talk to management but I really don't feel that they care. I took a sign on bonus and will have to pay it back if I quit but I am at the point that I don't care anymore. I worked hard for this nursing license and did very well in school. I don't want to make a serious mistake and lose my license. I really feel that I can be a good nurse somewhere but am feeling that the hospital is not for me. I am so sorry to hear that you are having difficulties as well. But after reading these threads I am getting the feel that there are many of us having the same problems. This is a great site to read when you are feeling overwhelmed. I always find some comment that gives me hope and encourages me to continue trying. I have decided after my first night as a NOC nurse that I need to either find another hospital or find another niche in nursing. Hang in there!! We can do it!!
I wanted to share with you guys that what you are feeling is normal. I have just recently graduated as a RN in May. A few weeks ago I begun my oreintation at a major hospital in the postpartum unit. I feel that say fear and intimidation that you guys feel. However, prior to that I worked as a LPN for three years. In the beginning I thought that there is no way that I could take care of the 15 30 patients that I had. I was scared to make any type of mistake. I soon realized that school and my instructors were responsible for me being scared of my own shadow. After one year being an LPN, I was very comfortable with my job. In and out, I knew all my patients by name, their disease and processess, Doctors, as well as the facility protocol. You guys will get to that place to. Just relax and continue to learn. yes, do make sure that your procedures are correct. Ask questions and always check the five rights to medications. If a problem comes up go to someone and ask for help. Everybody has taken out an extra med. That is not a big deal. As long as you do your five rights and don't give the extra dose to the patient, nobody cares. The pyxis has a way to put it back and credit the patient. For the new nurse whose preceptor is not providing support. My suggestion to you is to bring your school books with you to work. Review nursing procedures. There should be a policy book on your unit that describes each procedure step by step. Review it prior to the procedure. If allowed, make a photo copy and bring it into the room with you. Another suggestion is to review it find another nurse that is available, explain what you are going to do and ask if she would just watch you since this is your first time doing the procedure. Also, remember the drug book, make sure that you look up your time limit to give pushes and use micromedex if you have it to check compatibility. In other words, if you don't have help, use the resources that you have. You did this is school. You can do this at work. Control your own destiny. Just remind yourself why you went into to nursing. If it was for the money, you may find that nursing is not worth it. If it is to care for people, learn new and challanging things. Then you have found the profession for you. Give it a year. If you still hate it than think about something else to do.
glb1960
62 Posts
Hey LiLCHRiSSYRN, I have been in peds for 2 1/2 yrs. now and totally love it. My wife said I would because I am the biggest kid she knows. As for pointers, learn the different values for lytes for the little ones (under 20 kg) and develope some thick skin. Parents seem to come in three styles on peds floors. First are the ones who are scared, mad or unfunctional for some reason and you can't fix their baby fast enough or good enough. The second ones are the know-it-all ones who are smarter than the doc's, because they looked it up on the internet. The vast majority of parents are terrific and truely supportive of the team working on their baby. You will need the thick skin on a peds floor when working with the families of the first and second types, and so you don't cry your eyes out for the littles ones when you are working with the third type of terrific families.
Good luck and go get 'em. Gary