Emotional disorders

[rivershark2005]

First off, hi, I'm rivershark2005. Some of you may already know me from my last thread. Now that that's out of the way, here's my post.

About two years ago, I was diagnosed bipolar for the first time. I had suffered with depression for a long time, but did find myself having hypomanic episodes from time to time. Multiple times, I hid this from physicians, in fear of getting that stigmatic bipolar diagnosis. I was finally honest and open about these episodes with my doctor due to the loss of a marriage and her saying it was "due to my mood problems." I sought this diagnosis with the hopes of winning her back when she found out that it had been beyond my control but that I was seeking treatment and medication that would make me a more stable person. Of course, it didn't work, but I did learn to like myself better on medication.

It took several months and several prescriptions to find a combination of medications that work for me, but I am happy to say that I have been on my current pills/dosages for 16 months now with no adverse side effects. I am, for the first time in my life, genuinely happy about 90% of the time. The two years prior to my diagnosis, with my ex-wife, were the first time since I was an adolescent that I had been anything close to happy. During this time, I spoke to three doctors, including two psychiatrists, who all diagnosed me with Depression NOS, situational depression. I had come out of a horrid marriage prior to this time period in which I had been treated worse than a dog. But that's not the point.

I applied for my CNA class in June and had to list all medical conditions and medications I was taking. I was completely honest with them and listed myself as bipolar and on Geodon and Wellbutrin. No reason to lie, right? Well, I was happy when I got the call stating that I had been accepted into the CNA program (minority acceptance because I was a white male). Soon after graduating my CNA class, I was hired on at an LTC. They didn't ask about medical conditions or medications, so I didn't volunteer any information. No one I worked with, with the exception of the administrator (for reasons outside of work), knew about my diagnosis. Until recently.

A little while back, I was injured while working. As part of my worker's comp stuff, I had to take an immediate drug test. The DON asked me if I was on any medications. I told her yes, but was reluctant to tell her what. She finally pressed the issue enough that I told her. She looked at me puzzled. She knew what the Wellbutrin was, but had never heard of Geodon. She repeatedly asked me what type of drug it was and when we were alone, I told her it was an anti-psychotic. Her eyes widened like saucers and she took a step back. She asked, timidly, what it was prescribed for. I told her that it was typically prescribed for a variety of emotional and mental disorders to include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and a few others. Then she got specific and asked why I had been put on it. I told her, point-blank, that I was a bipolar patient. She seemed okay with this and I thought, stupidly, that this conversation would not leave the office we were in.

When I returned to work a week later, my unit manager asked me for my doctor's excuse, which I gave her, then stated that she would not be needing me for that shift. I asked why and was told it was because the shift had been overscheduled and three people were having to be sent home. Okay, I'm the newest CNA on that shift, I kinda get that. Seniority first. I left, satisfied that I had an extra day off to study. When I went to return for my next scheduled shift, I was again told that I would not be needed. Again, I asked why, and was told due to overscheduling.

On my way out the door, one of my coworkers saw me and followed me out. This particular coworker is one that I have had a bit of a problem with because she likes me a little too much. She looked me square in the eyes and said, "Is it true that you're bipolar?" I confirmed this fact, to which she carried on a conversation about how it was no big deal to her, that she wouldn't hold it against me, etc. Whatever.

The part that really grinds my gears is that she KNEW. I spoke with my DON, in confidence (or so I thought), only when the issue was pressed. I didn't expect her to go around the facility running her mouth about my emotional problems. But, believe me, if the girl that asked me knew, EVERYONE knows. Up until that point, only one nurse knew, and it was because she had seen me in the local mental health clinic when she was there with her brother. She didn't tell anyone. Now, I have this fear that everyone I work with is going to look at me differently, as if I am some freak, just because I have a mental disorder diagnosis. I am on meds. I take them every night, religiously (except tonight because I forgot to go pick up the Geodon yesterday). It's not like I"m going to fly off the handle one day at work because I have a major mood swing. My moods have stable for a while now, me only having two episodes to hypomania and one episode of debilitating depression in the past twelve months.

What can I do? Should I even continue to work there, knowing that everyone is going to be watching me for signs of a mental break, or should I look for employment elsewhere and just not bring it up? Can I recover, in the eyes of my coworkers, from this? And why is there such a stigma for people that have been diagnosed with things such as this? Outside of my family and close friends, very few people know about this problem. And that is the way I want to keep it. I have told a few of the girls that I have talked to/dated over the past year, to which I have received almost as many "I'm bipolar, too" revelations. I mean, I feel that someone I am trying to get involved in a relationship with has the right now know, no doubt. But should my coworkers know? I don't think they should. Maybe that's just me, though. So, any advice on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated.

[logank622]

Why was the DON processing your drug test anyway? That should be handled by HR. In my opinion, the DON overstepped her bounds by even asking you what the meds were prescribed for. To get into that much detail about why you're taking the med is inappropriate. (Seriously, she hasn't heard of a drug guide? If you're going to be nosy, at least TRY to be discreet. But I digress...) If she didn't respect those boundaries, I'm not surprised that everyone in the facility found out about it.

At this point, you could try filing a complaint with HR if you feel she violated your privacy and you're not getting shifts because of it. I don't know that you would get very far, unfortunately; it's her word against yours, and you're faced with the stigma of your condition. You could try bringing up the Americans with Disabilities Act, but that's not likely to get anyone on your side - employers in general don't respond well to implications of legal action. Just to be clear, I think the fear surrounding bipolar disorder is pure BS, and I'm glad you found a treatment that works for you. However, it appears that facility has a "small-town" feel to it, where everyone knows everyone else's business. It's hard to force professionalism on people who gossip for a living. I truly wish I could tell you to go to HR and they'll do the right thing, and it's always possible, but on the surface it doesn't sound like that kind of environment.

You may be better off trying to find another job. If the interviewer asks why you want to leave, just explain that they're overscheduled and you're not getting enough shifts. It's illegal for the interviewer to ask anything related to your condition, and as long as it's under control you're not obligated to disclose anything. Also be aware that it is absolutely illegal for your current employer to mention ANYTHING about your condition to a potential employer.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this and I wish you the best.

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

I would look for another job.

The DON should not have pressed you for your diagnosis, she should not have acted scared about it (really? a nurse, of all people, getting wigged out over a bipolar person????), and she certainly should not have told anyone about it!

That place sounds ridiculous.

[Miniangel2]

@Rivershark2005-so sorry for what you goin thru, right now! Logan and Fuzzy is right and very well said, it seems that you are a Wonderful Person trying to live the best you can , inspite of your situation! Please, Find a new Job, theres a lot out there, and i wish you all the Best...!

[JDZ344]

I would be looking for a new place to work, and like Logan said, say you left your current place because it was hard to get shifts.

[duskyjewel]

I honestly think you should consider a consult with your state Labor Board or a labor attorney. I am pretty sure that she violated the law by spreading that around. That stigma won't go away until people stand up and fight.

[rivershark2005]

Well, I have been called off work for over two weeks now. I got a call today from a very dear girl that has taken to me since I started there. She called from inside the office because she wanted to talk to me. She told me that my UM had called her and told her to call me off and when she asked why, the UM said they were trying to get me to quit. Yeah, not gonna happen. They don't want me, they can fire me unless I have another job lined up. Anyway, She got kinda quiet for a few seconds then asked if I was really bipolar or if "Jackie" (DON) had made that up. I told her I was, that I was on treatment, and that I usually don't have any symptoms now that I am on medication. She got quiet again and I said her name a couple of times. She asked me how well I know "Jackie" and I told her that I avoided her like the plague. She then went on to tell me that "Jackie's" ex-husband had been diagnosed bipolar a couple of years ago and "Jackie" literally left him for it. So the DON has some serious problems with dealing with mental disorders.

I am going looking for a new job this week. There are a couple of nursing homes, an ALF, and a hospital that I can apply at. I know just about everyone in management at these facilities (just like at the facility where I currently "work") and will be told if they hear anything about my bipolar disorder when they call for reference. Turns out, the only person at my current facility that has a problem with it is "Jackie" and she's the one ordering everyone to take my shifts from me.

How can a nurse, a BSN nurse, with experience in psych (she was a psych nurse for a year before being hired as DON here) have such a problem with a little bipolar diagnosis? I mean, to outcast me is one thing, but to have left a man she supposedly loved because he had a slight problem? I have never heard of bipolar disorder being all that bad. I was a psych tech for three years, and the uncompliant bipolar pts were not only the easiest to deal with, de-escalate, etc, but half the time (during manic episodes) they were kinda fun. Yes, dealing with a bipolar pt during depression can be difficult. But if they become compliant with their meds, those depressed cycles become few and far between, atleast in my experience.

I guess I just don't get it. There again, my passion for nursing has always been in psych. If I were to become a nurse, I would be a psych nurse. Unfortunately, there is only one psych facility around here and it's gero-psych. If I could work the required 12 hour shifts, I would go to work there.

[tomc5555]

Contact an attorney. This is a situation worth the time and energy to pursue legally.

[logank622]

I'm not condoning the DON's actions, but we don't know the full story about her ex-husband. Was he abusive? Suicidal? Did he bankrupt them during manic episodes? Was he faithful? There are a lot of different scenarios that could have led to her leaving him. Being bipolar isn't necessarily the only reason - it may have just been the final straw. Or it may have caused some serious behavior issues that she couldn't handle. That's not an excuse for her to punish you, but please be careful judging her for leaving him.

Remember, that story is the same kind of hearsay that you're fighting against. It also sounds like the girl supplying you with this information isn't a reliable neutral source. Either she's a habitual gossip or she loves inserting herself into any drama she can find. (Why would she call you from an office AT WORK to tell you this??) I disagree that you should pursue it legally - just cut your losses and move on. Best case scenario would be that you get to keep your job, knowing that everyone you work with knows your diagnosis against your wishes. Your coworkers may SAY they're willing to make statements against the DON, but when the time comes to put their jobs on the line... I'm guessing you won't get enough evidence and support to make your case. It sucks, but it isn't worth fighting for unless you really want to be a martyr.

[rivershark2005]

I'm not going to bother with it. It's not worth letting everyone in this small town know. My friends know, my ex knows, and that's enough people for me. I will be applying at the other LTCs as soon as I get my license next week.

[cheleincali]

I would definitely file a complaint with HR and the Labor Board on this one. Not sure what state you are in, but here in CA, these are all big no-no's. For one thing your condition is a chemical imbalance and is covered under ADA laws. They cannot discriminate against you for it. In addition, she violated your rights under COBRA by sharing this information with staff. This should not have gone beyond HR as far as the information is concerned and only for the sake of the drug testing. You are not obligated to share your diagnosis with anyone you work for and they cannot penalize you for it either. I am sorry you are going through this. Hopefully you find another place to work so that you can get out from under the prejudicial issues this woman has.

[mstearns09]

This whole situation seems bizarre to me for many reasons. First she backs you when you were having trouble with flirty co-workers but now she's trying to get you to quit because you have a neuro-biological disorder which is effectively treated? Methinks there's more going on here that you're seeing.

I cannot believe that someone who is in charge of a nursing department has never heard of Geodon. I work in an extremely small LTC facility and I've seen Geodon used more than once.

I think you're wise to find work elsewhere. There's something rotten and hidden in this place and I would bet that getting out now would be a wise decision.