I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle
All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........." :rotfl:
I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.
Ok this story is from my mom who worked ER for several years. One night around 2:00am this young man comes in with a horrified painful look on his face and asks to be seen by the doc (male, at the time all female staff). The nurse informs him that he will have to go through the whole triage, assessment part first. He demands to be seen by the ER doc, not the nurses. He then gets angry and leaves... A few hours later he's back, says he can't take it anymore, agrees to see anybody. In the exam room the nurse discovers that this man has a very lovely 1 karat diamond ring stuck over the shaft of his member. :imbar Turns out he was proposing to his girlfriend and thought this would be a unique way to do it. (AH, the romance)
All I have to say to that is my ring finger is a size 4, no wonder he didn't want the nurses to see what he had done.
I was the triage nurse in a busy city ER one Saturday evening. Suddenly, I heard shrieking and screaming as the doors burst open; it was a young woman who had accidentally amputated her left index finger while cutting potatoes. She was with her drunk boyfriend, who for some reason maintained an idiotic grin on his face and was holding back laughter during this entire crisis. I threw the woman into a wheelchair,after applying a quick pressure dressing to the site, and ran with her into the trauma room. The ER doc asked the boyfriend if they had brought the amputated finger, and BF nodded, still with the idiotic grin on his face. He then held up a coffee mug with the words, "My Dad went to Wallahoochee Lake, and all I got was this stupid mug!", and inside the mug was the finger. The woman was shortly taken up to surgery, and the finger was successfully re-attached. About a week later, I was working in the ER again (this time in the main acute care area); it was about 3 am...I was writing some nurse's notes, and a co-worker sat next to me and said, "Would you like some coffee?" There, in her hands, was the "My Dad went to Wallahoochee Lake, and all I got was this stupid mug!", filled with fresh coffee.....It took me about 10 minutes to stop laughing and tell her what was soooo funny!
When I was working at a local hospital, one of our human resources secretaries managed to amputate half of her pointer finger by slamming it shut in a file cabinet drawer. They were able to reattach it, but how she managed to completely cut it off that way, I have no idea.
Took care of a young man once who fractured his hip jumping over one of those construction sawhorse things. He was trying to impress a girl. Too bad he took the viagra before the accident....
I know a man that is a cop and put on his bullet proof vest and told his 18 year old son to punch him as hard as he could. Well his son punched him in the chest through the vest and broke 3 ribs.
While in Iraq, my husband was injured in an explosion and suffered trauma to his groin. Prior to a painful surgical repair, his urologist was trying to make him feel better by telling him about other such delicate repairs to young men ... apparently he had a patient who was going at it with his girlfriend on the kitchen floor and the poor guy missed, slamming himself into the kitchen floor so hard he basically bent his member completely in half, requiring multiple surgeries to fix!
I didn't see this one personally, but read it in a newspaper article posted on a motorcycling message board.
A motorcyclist was approaching an intersection, just behind a van. A woman driving a large SUV came up behind him at 55 mph. SUV collided with back of motorcycle; motorcyclist was propelled through the van's back and front windscreens and came to rest on the hood. The SUV then collided with the back of the van.
EMS were called. The motorcyclist had suffered multiple broken ribs, lacerated spleen, fractures to each humerus, tibia, fibula, radius, and ulna. He was unconscious. EMS called ahead to the ER. The attending mentioned that he should probably call the coroner, after an accident like that.
"No sir; he's still alive."
The motorcyclist was conscious and aware the next evening and is expected to make a full recovery
Just this past week at clinicals (OR observation) there was a big bearded motercycle looking guy with a huge vibrator stuck way up his retum. His girlfriend supposedly put it there and couldn't get it back out. After two days they came to the hospital to have it removed. According to the dr. it had traveled rather far. I've seen this same question posted on this thread a few times but I have to ask it again in all seriousness: "Why do folks put things, especially really large things, up their a**"? I wonder if maybe it comes from some type of sexual mosestation as a child? Maybe some type of obsession steming from abuse? Just a thought.
pepper_rn
7 Posts
Ok this story is from my mom who worked ER for several years. One night around 2:00am this young man comes in with a horrified painful look on his face and asks to be seen by the doc (male, at the time all female staff). The nurse informs him that he will have to go through the whole triage, assessment part first. He demands to be seen by the ER doc, not the nurses. He then gets angry and leaves... A few hours later he's back, says he can't take it anymore, agrees to see anybody. In the exam room the nurse discovers that this man has a very lovely 1 karat diamond ring stuck over the shaft of his member. :imbar Turns out he was proposing to his girlfriend and thought this would be a unique way to do it. (AH, the romance)
All I have to say to that is my ring finger is a size 4, no wonder he didn't want the nurses to see what he had done.
Pepper