Dumb Idea??

sdmommie · Mar 23, 2006

Oh my gosh! Wait!!! Babies are so very unpredictable. They don't always sleep when you want them too...especially before an exam. They seem to sense when you have plans for them to sleep through the night. Besides, wouldn't you need to figure out daycare while you're in school? If I had to do it all over again, I would've waited.

reidesert · Mar 23, 2006

Ok, wow well I guess I will go against popular opinion here. I gave birth to my baby girl when I was 24. She is 19 months now. Yes, it is difficult and yes I do have to prioritize my time as a wife, mother, real estate agent, student, and caregiver to my sister who was injured last year in a car accident. I feel like all of my roles enhance my overall being and I wouldn't give up any one. Only you know what you are capable of. Only you know what will make you happy. Yes, you are young. Personally, I would like to have all of my kids before I turn 30 years old because of the increased rate of genetic diseases and my own decrease in energy. I do not see myself chasing after a toddler when I am 38 kwim?? Be true to yourself in whatever you decide. Anything is possible and never give up on your dreams. Situations change. Life changes. I learned from my sister's accident to live each day as it was your last. Always be open to learn new things. Fear less and try more. She is only 19 and she is wise beyond her years.

brinley_s · Mar 23, 2006

I want to thank everyone for their honest replies... I am trying to weigh all of my options and my husband and I are trying to make the best decision for us. What we find hard when we discuss this with other people is that it is so divided. Most of the people that have told us to wait, did college or a career change with children already, so they do not know what it is like to do it without...it is just a difficult decision, I really appreciate everyone's opinions.

stpauligirl · Mar 23, 2006

Ok, wow well I guess I will go against popular opinion here. I gave birth to my baby girl when I was 24. She is 19 months now. Yes, it is difficult and yes I do have to prioritize my time as a wife, mother, real estate agent, student, and caregiver to my sister who was injured last year in a car accident. I feel like all of my roles enhance my overall being and I wouldn't give up any one. Only you know what you are capable of. Only you know what will make you happy. Yes, you are young. Personally, I would like to have all of my kids before I turn 30 years old because of the increased rate of genetic diseases and my own decrease in energy. I do not see myself chasing after a toddler when I am 38 kwim?? Be true to yourself in whatever you decide. Anything is possible and never give up on your dreams. Situations change. Life changes. I learned from my sister's accident to live each day as it was your last. Always be open to learn new things. Fear less and try more. She is only 19 and she is wise beyond her years.

LOL...I was 38 when I had my youngest...he is now 8, I have more energy now then I had in my 20's and people in general have a hard time keeping up with me. I am in the BEST shape of my life and don't look my age. This "granny" also kicks mega butt in those pre-nursing science classes. I am also a better parent the second time around, (had my first at 25).

HHW2006 · Mar 23, 2006

WAIT!!!!! I have a 12 year old and a 7 year old and am in school full time. I feel like I have short changed my children these last few years. If I had it to do over I would have gone to school before I had children. However, if you do decide to have a baby now, be sure that you have a really strong support system in place. It will be important anyway when you start school, but even more so with a little one.

Megsd, BSN, RN · Mar 23, 2006

I want to thank everyone for their honest replies... I am trying to weigh all of my options and my husband and I are trying to make the best decision for us. What we find hard when we discuss this with other people is that it is so divided. Most of the people that have told us to wait, did college or a career change with children already, so they do not know what it is like to do it without...it is just a difficult decision, I really appreciate everyone's opinions.

Personally, I think you should wait. I am also 23, starting nursing school this fall, have no children, and have a serious boyfriend of about 2 years. My boyfriend is wonderful and supportive and everyone loves him, so I'm starting to get all the "WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET???" inquisitions. And really, as much as I think we could have a good marriage, it's not something we're seriously considering at this point, partly because I am going back to school. Yes, in theory we could get married this summer or something, but I want to be able to devote time to being a wife, and I don't feel I could really and truly do that until after I finish with school. I feel the same way about children. I want to be able to enjoy the experience of having children and raising them without having to juggle school too.

This may be a silly analogy, but I have long wanted to get my own dog. I have lived in apartments for years where I cannot keep pets, and my boyfriend and I are buying a house this summer. Immediately I asked if I could get a dog. Then I thought about it: if I got a puppy and then started school, how would I be able to train it? How can I form a significant bond with this puppy, so it knows I'm its puppy mom, if I'm never home? It wouldn't be fair to my boyfriend to have him train and take care of "my" dog, and I would miss out on the experience of raising this puppy. So I have decided to most likely wait until after nursing school to get a dog so I can devote the time and energy to it that it will require. While yes, I could do both, I think it would be detrimental to me and the dog to do so.

So, to make a long story short, in the end it's up to you and your husband to decide what is best for you. But personally, I think that you should try to finish your schooling while you have the opportunity to do so with the least amount of other obligations possible. Then you'll be done with school and have the time and energy to devote to things like your children.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Mar 23, 2006

LOL...I was 38 when I had my youngest...he is now 8, I have more energy now then I had in my 20's and people in general have a hard time keeping up with me. I am in the BEST shape of my life and don't look my age. This "granny" also kicks mega butt in those pre-nursing science classes. I am also a better parent the second time around, (had my first at 25).

Hey, I hear you! I too believe great things come late, even when in small packages (LOL!) - I was born when my mother was 38 and my father was 42....(but keep in mind I have a 51 year old brother, a 49 year old brother, and a 42 year old sister now!)....and this was 33 years ago, when it was WEIRD to have parents "that old"....NEVER did I feel like I "missed out" on having young parents - I didn't know mine any other way! My mom couldn't ride roller coasters (due to the lower back problems I was kind enough to give her while in utero, LOL - she had started to develop arthritis when I was born), but my dad rode every one with me - I went to Busch Gardens, Disney World (twice before I was seven!), great vacations....and the perspective of parents who could have been my grandparents (I have a niece who is three years younger than me to exactly the day) - I grew up hearing about the Depression and WWII when other kids barely knew who JFK was. I have always believed I have more in common with the baby boomers than this Generation X that everyone seems to think I'm a part of. My father was 62 at my high school graduation and seventy when I finally graduated from college; my mother is now 71 and is JUST starting to look, well, old - and I have to admit, I've seen 50 year olds that look older than she does.

My sister had her first kid at 36 and her second at not quite 38 - she still gets carded....

I probably won't have a child until I'm about 36 or so. I don't think age matters anymore. At least these days people won't think I'm his or her grandma - that used to happen to me ALL the time when I was a little girl! :lol2:

To the OP - you should wait! Wait a couple more years....as someone said, there's never a good time to have a kid, but I think some times are probably better than others; trying to adjust to nursing school and 3 a.m. feedings at the same time is probably not the best-laid of plans...besides, like someone else pointed out - what if they called you up to start THIS year, and the stick turned pink the next week - and you started your first day of classes by having to run to the bathroom two minutes after lecture started to stick your head in the potty?

Of course, I wish you luck regardless - but I think you should wait. JMHO.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Mar 23, 2006

Personally, I think you should wait. I am also 23, starting nursing school this fall, have no children, and have a serious boyfriend of about 2 years. My boyfriend is wonderful and supportive and everyone loves him, so I'm starting to get all the "WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET???" inquisitions. And really, as much as I think we could have a good marriage, it's not something we're seriously considering at this point, partly because I am going back to school. Yes, in theory we could get married this summer or something, but I want to be able to devote time to being a wife, and I don't feel I could really and truly do that until after I finish with school. I feel the same way about children. I want to be able to enjoy the experience of having children and raising them without having to juggle school too.

LOL!! Had to share this...when people used to ask me, "Why aren't you married yet?", I used to answer with, "For the same reasons you're not divorced yet." There's really no answer to that, is there? And if they ARE divorced, and they annoy you with the question, well, the possibilities are then endless - "so I can be sure I don't end up divorced" is one I used on my not-so-polite, four-times-divorced cousin. :nono: :lol2: Evil, yes - but effective - they STOP ASKING!

Sorry - just had to share!

lostinparadise · Mar 24, 2006

Please do yourself the favor and wait :)

not all pregnancies go smoothly and then you can kiss school goodbye. It will be too stressful to try to get trough school and take care of your child, finish your school first and then you can enjoy the time with your baby afterwards. I'm 24 and I haven't even taken any prereqs so we'll have to wait a long time before trying for a baby too. It's kinda sad but its the best thing to do for your family and yourself. That's my HONEST opinion: FINISH SCHOOL FIRST !

reidesert · Mar 24, 2006

I just wanted to add that I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes. For me I would like to have all my children (max 2) before I am 30. It is a personal decision for me and only for me. I wanted to also add that my husband and I are financially stable and we did have a long time for "us" time when we were dating, engaged and married. I also wanted to say that I already had a BA degree in Psychology completed before my daughter was born. I also believe that education is life-long. If I waited to have children until after my education was completed...I would be a very old lady , in my 90s for sure. Do what is best for you and your future family. If you are really committed to doing something you will be able to do it well and with a successful output. Good luck!!

brinley_s · Mar 24, 2006

In an ideal world wouldn't we all like to finish school first! Like I said previously I do appreciate everyone's input. I am kind of in the same situation as reidesert, I already have one degree in marketing and a great job, my husband also has a great job, the financial security and support system is not something I am worried about. I really do like to hear the input from others with children though, I know that it can be done, but I know that it is difficult.

nursecher · Mar 24, 2006

I am 23, married, and have a 4 year old and 18 month old. School is 10x's harder with kids. Wait until you are close to being done with school and then start trying. I am all for having kids young, but you will still be very young if you decide to wait.

School is hard but kids are harder! Good luck with whatever you decide.