Dual spouse nurse family - HELP!

Published

Hello all,

Me and my wife are both ICU nurses. She has been working for 1.5 years, and I have been working for 1. We just found out we are pregnant, and now that things have cooled down from finding out, I am finding myself wondering how we will have time to balance work, family, and finances.

As previously mentioned, both me and my wife are ICU nurses working the standard three 12's/week. We have no family close enough to help watch while we are at work, and can not support the cost of having a nanny come to our home while we work the same days. As of now, the only way we have figured out how to save on the ungodly expensive costs of having a nanny come to our home (because daycares aren't open at 5 or open till 8) is to each work opposite days (so 6 days/week of spending no family time), and then having 1 day for family time. She seems to be more ok than I am with the idea of this, but my main concern/want is seeing my child and my wife more together as a family and making memories. As much as I hate the idea of taking a job outside of what I do now, I have started looking for other nursing career options that require no more than a bachelors degree for now. I am doing this only so I can drop our child off at daycare and pick them up as well as be home in the evenings with my wife and child. Does anyone have any advice they can give that have been through the same situation?

Thank you in advance!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Adult and Pediatric Vascular Access, Paramedic.

Don't do a nanny, that will just eat up one of your pay checks. I have a couple friends in a similar situation and one of them works a full time schedule for the benefits and the other one works per-diem. She still gets plenty of hours, but can work around her husbands schedule!

Even if she has weeks where she only works maybe 24 hours, it is still taking the cost of daycare out of the equation!

Annie

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Is there a possibility that one or both of you could get an 8 hour per day nursing job? I just graduated and my first nursing job is at the company that I was a med aide at before I graduated with my RN. My schedule is M-F 7am-3pm at a small group home. I know there are also other 8 hour nursing jobs out there especially where you both have over 1 year of experience in an ICU setting. Is this something that you could do? I know you would be working more days total, but you would be off by 3 or 4 at least...just thought I would throw it out there.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

I would ask around the hospital to see what other nurses are doing for childcare. I bet there are some hidden gems that you don't know about, that are willing to work with a nurse's schedule.

There are other options for working as a nurse besides shift work in a hospital. My husband is a hospice nurse, and typically works an 8-4:30ish schedule. I would suggest looking at other employment options, rather than giving up nursing altogether.

When our son was an infant, we were able to avoid using childcare altogether until he was about 18 months old. I worked nights 7p-7a, and worked every other night, so I could come home the next morning, stay up for a few hours, and nap when the baby napped, and then go to sleep that night at 8 or 9pm. Husband did baby duty at night while I was at work, and then he'd hand baby off to me when I came home so he could go to work. Yeah, it sucked and I was hella sleep deprived there for about a year, but our priority was to avoid putting him in childcare until he was a bit older, so we did what we had to do.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Start saving every penny right now, if you aren't already. Besides a good family budget, make smart decisions about needs and wants as you begin to accumulate things for the baby (avoid the fashion contest it can become; almost every contraption other than a safe car seat(s) and safe sleeping device is optional). Look for gently used layette items/slings/clothing/strollers via online community yard sale and such. These types of things make a difference that accumulates - you can either have things (financially) a little more difficult or a little easier based on choices like these - and many more to come! :)

klone's scenario or an option where one person works per diem (with the goal of avoiding day care) were the options I preferred. These are personal choices and everyone has their own way of working things out according to their preferences. There are pros and cons to each - - for example in klone's scenario both partners remain benefit-eligible (vacation, retirement, etc.); per diem positions usually don't include those perks. Another option would be for one of you to drop to PT/remain benefit-eligible - these positions are usually allowed to pick up extra shifts if they are available.

Try very hard not to develop stressed-out feelings about what something is or isn't. You are going to have time as a family, and this whole experience is going to be a fun-wild ride you'll never forget! Parts of it are *rough* - but somehow we have a way of looking back and not regretting what we did to make it work. As long as you have a mutual goal and work together, whatever choices you make have the possibility of becoming happy/fond memories.

Congrats!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

Congratulations!! I am sure you will figure it out. Luckily I had moved into a (mostly) Monday-Friday job as a clinical hospital educator when I got pregnant. My husband is a med student so his schedule is nuts, I get to be the provider of benefits and stability. Do you and your wife work in the same ICU?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion