Don't know what to do

Anyone? Is it normal to have a love/hate relationship with nursing?? I love being a nurse - as in the actual nursing care part of nursing -- patient care, being there for people in some of the hardest times of their lives, the small victories, advocating for patients, etc. ...but other times the shift just kills me. I have to retreat to the bathroom and just let the tears flow from sheer frustration, anxiety, stress, just people (manager, doctors, families, etc.) breathing down your neck! When my coworkers are stressed because they're drowning, I can't help but become affected by their negative energy. I feel bad for them because I totally understand how they feel! But sometimes it's hard to stay positive as a newbie when all the experienced nurses are cursing their jobs... Sorry for the vent, I just don't know if I'm on a bad floor or in the wrong area of nursing...

Less than a year here, too. I say stay on nights, grab any experience you can get. If you still have a job, there's a reason. Trust and believe, they'd get rid of you if your performance were a real concern. It will get easier.

I agree with weirdscience - stay on nights for now. You will continue to build your skills, but in a slower-paced environment and with more supportive coworkers. I hate to hurry, and for that reason I have enjoyed working nights so much more than I enjoyed the day shift! (I work as a CNA right now while attending nursing school.) There is nothing wrong with needing a slower pace while you are still learning to be a nurse. If you really want to be on days, perhaps you can move back to days after you have more time on the job.

Do they need a night nurse? I can't tell from your posts if there is a full-time position available on nights or if you are still "orienting" or something.

I think hospital experience and gradually learning to step up your pace are going to help you more toward your goal of working in the ED than clinic nursing or school nursing would. I only had one day of clinicals at a doctor's office, but it seemed that those jobs are heavy on organizational skills and time management (which I guess could help you), but low on assessment and clinical judgement type skills. You will need all of those skills in the ED.

Keep your chin up! Let us know what you decide!

I am a new nurse too. I say if you started working there in April you have a good 7-8 months in. If they are giving you another chance on nights, stick it out a few more months.

Hospital experience for a new grad is coveted and hard to come by - get what you can!

As far as your manager, you didn't state what made her a bad manager. Is she giving you patients with acuity too high for a new grad? Back to back admissions? If it helps at all, my manager is great at organizing and I STILL wouldn't give money for a gift!!

I moved myself to nights my first year because handling 6 patients on the floor was insane. No other way to put it. Nights were wonderful in comparison, much slower, no docs or supervisors around, and lots of time to chart and read charts. I eventually did get put back on days the next year, but really enjoyed the time on nights. There is a school of thought that days are better for new grads because they learn more "time management" skills that way, but I think they can learn those skills on nights as well.

I wound not worry about the "extended probation" or whatever. It is not going to be relevant a few months or years down the road. Just focus on being a good nurse and learning your skills. I would not move out of the hospital yet -- the opportunity to learn skills is much greater than anywhere else. It really sets a good foundation for your future nursing.

Extended probation means that they're giving you more time to improve your performance rather than just let you go. That's a good thing. They're investing in you.

If you're getting overwhelmed on day shift, especially to the point where you're just doing tasks and not thinking about what you're doing and why, nights might be a good thing for you. The pace is different, and it may give you time to focus on learning new skills, expanding your knowledge base and critical thinking. Perhaps they're moving someone else into your day slot because they need someone on days and you would benefit from some time on nights?

Changing jobs at this point is probably not the way you want to go. You're just going to have to learn all new ways of doing things, new skills, new protocols, new people. I'm not sure why you'd want to even go there when you have a manager who is willing to work with you while you progress. The first year of nursing sucks -- best to just go through it and get it over with rather than change jobs and start all over again!

To the OP - any updates?

Hey.. Yes I passed my probation! =) Found out yesterday. I actually to feel more confident as nurse, but still want to work in a safer environment. I'm really not comfortable having so many patients on a step down floor. Sometimes there's so much going on that it's easy to miss critical things. For example I had a pt on a Cardizem gtt a few weeks ago on my night shift. Around 20:30 (FYI, I was getting report on other pts... usually have to get report from more than one nurse bc we have so many discharges and admissions) pt's HR dropped to 30. Looking at the q 4 hr vitals the drip should've been either titrated down or stopped at 16:00 when the BP was like 90/50 & HR was sustained in the 70's NSR. The day nurse was so busy with her section that she didn't even get a chance to check the vitals. This pts drip was infusing at 15 ml/hr. Soo it's things like that that worry me because it's just so easy for things like this to happen on my floor. This nurse is a great, awesome nurse, has been a nurse for 27 years and honestly is one of the greatest resources on the unit... So if something like that could be missed by her then imagine me, a new grad... I will never forget that though, for a pt on Cardizem gtt I will be extra vigilant with watching the HR and checking vitals. Thank goodness the pt was okay, asymptomatic.

I'm back on days again, and although it's more stressful (in my opinion) because it's just non-stop tasks (sending pts for tests/procedures, OR, fresh post-ops, discharges, admissions, new orders all the time, etc.), I'm really trying my best to see the positive and stay A LOT more organized & focused. I keep saying to myself that this is a rough patch but one that will open many doors for me in my nsg career... Knowing that it's temporary and that I'm definitely not "stuck" is motivating.