I've always thought that this whole grief counseling business was ridiculous. Whenever there's a tragedy, grief counselors are rushed to the scene. It just seems like even ancient people knew how to handle grief through their cultural process and then move on with life.
Here's an article that suggests that grief counselors actually impede people and make them less self-reliant. But, that's probably what the psychological industry wants, is for people to rely on them, then they have more clients.
Elkpark, thank you for posting that article. I read all nine pages, and it was very, very interesting. I had no idea about this industry.
You're welcome -- I, too, found the article v. interesting when I found it. I had heard some passing references and rumors about that sort of thing (and had my own opinions!), but hadn't seen it all explained in detail before. I think the "bottom line" is whether you practice as a psychotherapist from the basic assumption that people are generally strong and resillient and can cope with most situations in life, or the basic assumption that people are weak and fragile and will fall apart in the face of any significant stressor (also, whether or not you're looking to make a quick buck! :) )
You're welcome -- I, too, found the article v. interesting when I found it. I had heard some passing references and rumors about that sort of thing (and had my own opinions!), but hadn't seen it all explained in detail before. I think the "bottom line" is whether you practice as a psychotherapist from the basic assumption that people are generally strong and resillient and can cope with most situations in life, or the basic assumption that people are weak and fragile and will fall apart in the face of any significant stressor (also, whether or not you're looking to make a quick buck! :) )
Well, I'm not fond of pathologizing the human condition and it's shades of gray. I am fond of psychotherapy being available for those who get stuck and need help and for those who do have psychopathology.
I'm also not fond of under-educated money-grubbing, so-called "grief counsellors" chasing people, like I discovered in this article.
Grief counseling is personal and grief is not something that you 'get over'. You think you've made peace and then slam - it hits you in the gut. My husband and I dealt with the death of our 7 month old son in very different ways and still do 3 years later.
I think it was helpful for me to talk to strangers, because frankly it upset my friends to see me upset, and often I felt like I ended up reassuring and comforting them that 'I'm ok'- yeah right. Truthfully I think our culture could really improve in this area, the insistence on making everyone be self-reliant and strong all the time and the negative view towards mental illness, etc. is hurtful and unrealistic.
Grief counseling is personal and grief is not something that you 'get over'. You think you've made peace and then slam - it hits you in the gut. My husband and I dealt with the death of our 7 month old son in very different ways and still do 3 years later.
I think it was helpful for me to talk to strangers, because frankly it upset my friends to see me upset, and often I felt like I ended up reassuring and comforting them that 'I'm ok'- yeah right. Truthfully I think our culture could really improve in this area, the insistence on making everyone be self-reliant and strong all the time and the negative view towards mental illness, etc. is hurtful and unrealistic.
Thanks for the personal story. I'm sorry for your terrible loss.
elkpark
14,633 Posts
You're welcome -- I, too, found the article v. interesting when I found it. I had heard some passing references and rumors about that sort of thing (and had my own opinions!), but hadn't seen it all explained in detail before. I think the "bottom line" is whether you practice as a psychotherapist from the basic assumption that people are generally strong and resillient and can cope with most situations in life, or the basic assumption that people are weak and fragile and will fall apart in the face of any significant stressor (also, whether or not you're looking to make a quick buck! :) )