Does anybody else feel guilty about calling off?

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I was wondering if anybody else on here has call off guilt, my husband says I am crazy because of it. I am on light duty and had called off 2 days after sustaining a back injury moving a patient. My manager is great is accommodating with my restrictions so I am one day back to work and now I have 2 sick kids at home with what looks like strep throat, so obviously I will be taking them to the doc tomorrow. Is it ingrained in us in nursing school to feel guilty when missing work or is it just me?

Specializes in ICU.
And as I've said calling off when YOU are sick is appropriate. Calling off to take care of people who are 100% able to care for themselves, well you'll have to make that decision and live with the consequences. I don't know where everyone works, but the hospitals I've worked at you only get 3 sick days a year. After that it's write ups, suspensions then termination.

Oh and in your OP you said you had to take them to the doctors (which if they'd been sick for four days prob could have been done on a non work day). Then you railed on me about leaving your kids "ill and unattended"!!! So it wasn't just taking them to the doc, especially with urgent cares open till 10 pm or later in some places. This was about you not wanting to go to work. Bottom line.

Well I'm sorry you only get 3 sick days we have 7 sick days per year for ourselves and 4 sick days that cover family sick in addition to personal days and vacation time as well as an extended sick bank. And for you to say I do not want to go to work is ridiculous if it was me simply not wanting to go to work I sure would have saved that call off for something more enjoyable to do. I also think to continue to leave kids home sick unattended when at this point it was obvious what was going on is not viral is irresponsible. And I am assuming you don't have children because while a 12 and 13 year old are very self sufficient I would disagree that they are 100% able to take care of themselves. They know nothing about what to take for their symptoms or how much to take....maybe I should have them fill out job applications and find an apartment since they really don't need me to take care of them anymore.

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How many sick days do you get a year? Every hospital I've worked at you only get three for the whole year, after that it's a write up. I would be scared to waste mine when I wasn't sick cause with my luck I'd then catch the plague and be up a creek!

So, if people are "written up" (one of the hospital industry's and nursing's all-time faves) for doing something wrong or calling in ("sick" or otherwise), are they written down for doing something correctly? Most likely not. :(

If hospitals were run like many businesses, a year without sick calls would result in a cash bonus or extra paid vacation time. I know many nurses and aides who would qualify for such an incentive. :)

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And as I've said calling off when YOU are sick is appropriate. Calling off to take care of people who are 100% able to care for themselves, well you'll have to make that decision and live with the consequences. I don't know where everyone works, but the hospitals I've worked at you only get 3 sick days a year. After that it's write ups, suspensions then termination.

Oh and in your OP you said you had to take them to the doctors (which if they'd been sick for four days prob could have been done on a non work day). Then you railed on me about leaving your kids "ill and unattended"!!! So it wasn't just taking them to the doc, especially with urgent cares open till 10 pm or later in some places. This was about you not wanting to go to work. Bottom line.

I just don't understand why you had to turn this into an argument.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
Well I'm sorry you only get 3 sick days we have 7 sick days per year for ourselves and 4 sick days that cover family sick in addition to personal days and vacation time as well as an extended sick bank. And for you to say I do not want to go to work is ridiculous if it was me simply not wanting to go to work I sure would have saved that call off for something more enjoyable to do. I also think to continue to leave kids home sick unattended when at this point it was obvious what was going on is not viral is irresponsible. And I am assuming you don't have children because while a 12 and 13 year old are very self sufficient I would disagree that they are 100% able to take care of themselves. They know nothing about what to take for their symptoms or how much to take....maybe I should have them fill out job applications and find an apartment since they really don't need me to take care of them anymore.

My children are none of your business. But obviously if yours can't read how to take Tylenol then there is some severe deficits in their learning. At 13 & 12 they should be able to manage a few hours while you're at work. They can make soup, take their meds and drink fluids. The fact that they obviously can't is a defection on your parenting skills. And nice hyperbole about jobs and apartments. Cause that's a rational option. But at their ages I should hope they do have jobs like babysitting and mowing lawns to teach them how to work and be self reliant.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
I just don't understand why you had to turn this into an argument.

I answered her question and she didn't like it. I'm not going to change my answer to suit her needs. That's what happens when you post questions in a public forum, you don't always get the answers you want.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
We are grown adults; if one has to call in, then call in. The end.

This says it all.

Guilt? No. The underlying "not fair to coworkers" mentality stems from an exaggerated sense of responsibility for staffing a unit, or a wishy-washy lack of healthy boundaries and allowance of inappropriately applied guilt trips.

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Specializes in ICU.
My children are none of your business. But obviously if yours can't read how to take Tylenol then there is some severe deficits in their learning. At 13 & 12 they should be able to manage a few hours while you're at work. They can make soup, take their meds and drink fluids. The fact that they obviously can't is a defection on your parenting skills. And nice hyperbole about jobs and apartments. Cause that's a rational option. But at their ages I should hope they do have jobs like babysitting and mowing lawns to teach them how to work and be self reliant.

All 4 of my kids are honor roll students so no they are not morons, you know there are adults who take the wrong amounts of medications so I am not going to trust that they will measure out 30mls or take the appropriate amount of Tylenol tablets at this age. This was in no way an argument until you began making personal comments. So you can be an absentee parent who puts their job before the well being of her kids that is your choice. And if you are a mother I feel bad for you children.

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Specializes in ICU.
So, if people are "written up" (one of the hospital industry's and nursing's all-time faves) for doing something wrong or calling in ("sick" or otherwise), are they written down for doing something correctly? Most likely not. :(

If hospitals were run like many businesses, a year without sick calls would result in a cash bonus or extra paid vacation time. I know many nurses and aides who would qualify for such an incentive. :)

i like the bonus idea....I must say on the unit where I work our manager makes it a point each week to recognize those who have done a great job or who have gone above and beyond. The positive feedback is really appreciated. It's a shame more managers don't take this approach.

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Specializes in ICU.
This says it all.

Guilt? No. The underlying "not fair to coworkers" mentality stems from an exaggerated sense of responsibility for staffing a unit, or a wishy-washy lack of healthy boundaries and allowance of inappropriately applied guilt trips.

I completely agree, I think in my case it's the lack of healthy boundaries I am a self admitting people pleaser.

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Sionainn......My husband is a police officer so he isn't in the best call in position either....so we take turns, when we must be off for the kids he was off the previous 2 days....now the kids 12 and 13 both have 102.4 degree fevers and worsening symptoms so it's time for the doctor and my turn to be off.

It might be your turn to be off at home, but certainly not at work.

This is when you need a back up plan. Some one else needs to take the kids to the doctor and care for them

No wonder you are feeling guilty . Your job does not revolve around your family life.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
All 4 of my kids are honor roll students so no they are not morons, you know there are adults who take the wrong amounts of medications so I am not going to trust that they will measure out 30mls or take the appropriate amount of Tylenol tablets at this age. This was in no way an argument until you began making personal comments. So you can be an absentee parent who puts their job before the well being of her kids that is your choice. And if you are a mother I feel bad for you children.

Personal comments by saying your kids are old enough to know how many Tylenol to take?? Yet you then go and call me an absentee parent and you feel sorry for my kids?? You really need to take a look at how you're presenting yourself. You have said much more insulting things about me. You asked if you should feel guilty, I said you should since you're not sick and your kids are old enough to be left alone while you're at work. If you don't like dissenting opinions don't post to a public forum.

And if your kids are all on honor roll then they sure should be able to read and follow directions! You are creating kids who will be completely helpless as adults, and I feel sorry for them.

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Specializes in ICU.
Personal comments by saying your kids are old enough to know how many Tylenol to take?? Yet you then go and call me an absentee parent and you feel sorry for my kids?? You really need to take a look at how you're presenting yourself. You have said much more insulting things about me. You asked if you should feel guilty, I said you should since you're not sick and your kids are old enough to be left alone while you're at work. If you don't like dissenting opinions don't post to a public forum.

And if your kids are all on honor roll then they sure should be able to read and follow directions! You are creating kids who will be completely helpless as adults, and I feel sorry for them.

My question was directed at the guilt that nurses have for calling off, just was curious to see where others thinks this guilt stems from for taking the time we need for ourselves or our children. My hospital specifically has sick family days for these instances. My post was not to solicit advice from you on what actions I should take when my children are sick. Also I don't think my kids will be helpless adults because I take off work once a year to take them to a doctors appointment. And coming from you I will take your comment about being sorry for my children as a compliment. I hope you are a more compassionate nurse than you are mother. Also thank you these discussions we just had cleared my mind of any guilt I had about taking a FAMILY SICK DAY.

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