We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Being a new nurse in a critical care unit, I often take the doctors too seriously. When I called to consult one doctor, he asked if I had FaceTime so that he could see this patient. Obviously he was joking, but I was seriously about to ask for his number to FaceTime. Lol.
I assessed the patient and informed the doctor the patient was ready to seen. The doctor went into the room with the patient and came out in approximately 6 mins, gave orders and said let me know when the next patient is ready. I said, but doc you were only in with the patient for a few minutes, he responded "patients don't pay for my time, they pay me for my experience".
A resident at a teaching hospital in South Carolina said that the patient didn't know what to name their baby. The name the doctor suggested was meconium. The new mother named her brand new baby Meconium!
Years ago I had just gotten off orientation. The doctor was getting ready to insert a PA catheter in my patient. I explained that I had just gotten off orientation and to please be patient with me. He immediately hit the call bell and said, "send someone in here who knows what they are doing!" I was devastated!
After one of our Physicians got first hand experience with a beligerant and exceptionally difficult patient, he overheard "pillow therapy" jokingly being discussed amongst the nurses (out of earshot of any of our patients of course!)...This (highly intelligent) doctor completely missed the sarcastic undertones of the conversation, and with complete sincerity and in a serious tone (with quite a bit of exasperation mixed in) he asked how he would go about ordering "pillow therapy" for the patient...we held it together as best we could and gently explained that this particular treatment was only available in the "in our dreams" order set...He laughed, and then thanked all of us for everything we go through with patients of the difficult nature, stating that he wouldn't be able to put up with as much as we do!
In the operating room,surgeon says give me what I need,not what I ask for.
Like this. I was scrub nurse on a C/S one time. The wonderful mayo stand had an area you stepped on to lower it. I stood on a step stool in order to reach the field and my toes hit this allowing the tray to lower a few inches with a loud bang, Dr. R. made a disgusting humph and rolled his eyes. (No injury to the patient and I lifted the tray back to its former height.) A few minutes later, when I was prepared to give him the next instrument during this case, he very seriously says "chart", I don't hand him anything and he says again "chart", while holding out his hand. He finally looked up at me and I said do you want what you need or should I get the chart. He stared for a few seconds and then his eyes crinkled as he tried to suppress his laughter. Made my day, as well as his. We still can laugh about the day he wanted that unsterile chart to be used as an instrument.
While working in the ICU, a patient coded and a resident arrived first. The nurses were doing a good job with the code. The resident acts like he is now in charge and says "my reference says he is due for Epi!" - while checkeing his pocket reference guide.
I had a patient who was in a lot of pain but her BP was 79/49. I had anorder to give Dilaudid. I shared with the doctor my concern of giving the med with such a low BP. His reply was "go ahead and give it. I think she'll be fine. And if not, well we haven't had a code in a long time." Needless to say I ended up giving the med and the patient was fine.
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WEE2017
3 Posts
"How do I do this again?"