This vile expression implies that experienced nurses do not treat new nurses kindly. My first problem with the statement is that it’s a generalization implying that all nurses are like that. Interestingly, whenever I hear someone utter the expression, I always say, “I don’t do that. Do you?” The person making the statement always says, “Oh no, I don’t, but many others do.” I’ve never heard even one nurse own up to doing this, although some nurses are willing to indict the entire profession. Every time that statement is repeated, it causes harm and casts a dark shadow on every nurse. Say anything enough, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Please note that by moderator consensus some of the "Nurses Eat Their Young" posts will be referred to this thread where there can be an ongoing discussion, rather than several threads saying the same thing.
To students and new grads that are having problems with nurses, please take a moment to read the above link. Is it really the entire profession, every single nurse, or do you need help with one or a few nurses? We will be glad to help you in dealing with those people, but let bury the phrase "Nurses Eat Their Young".
To experienced nurses who claim our profession eats it's young, please take a moment to read it as well and think about it. Also take time to teach, be friendly and nurturing to the new nurse and students on your unit.
I am going through something like this right now. senior nursing student, graduating in May 2009 (hopefully) but I tell you the clinical instructors I have had so far haven't been bad at all. This is my semester from hell, I have a totally cold, weird, strange person for clinical she is probably the most self centered, cruelest person I have ever met. If these are the people in nursing I am beginning to wonder what I am doing to myself and why I am putting myself through all of this. It is very discouraging.
I am unusually pretty sarcastic and can't pass up an opportunity to make a joke about my own and others blunders. However, I am passionate about how nurses treat one another and their patients. I have learned to be sensitive with my candor and respect that some may misinterpret my attempted wit. I learned that when I show up to work I am accountable for my actions. This includes my conduct with co-workers and students. I am also accountable for the actions of others around me if they have potential of harm. This includes that chit chat about so and so, or pt in bed 12, etc., that occurs in the med room... We all know where this leads. Remember that when your co-worker fails so do you.
Nurses are professionals and ought to be aware of how their communication affects others. This takes self-reflection even when we feel that we are under attack. Reaching a solution is not always about who is right, it is often about what works. Most of the time noncompetitive collaboration is the avenue to reaching the solution. Ignoring situations by "flying under the radar" is a setup for more escalated problems later. Sometimes we have to put our heads together so that we can grow. You know we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Those who believe that they know it all and are not willing to grow need to be reminded how dangerous this belief and attitude really is for them, as well as for everyone around them. My older brother Still never passes up the opportunity to remind me (usually at Thanksgiving dinner) of what I said to my mother when visiting home after college, "Mom, you are so much smarter!"
Those who behave self-centered and cruel may be reacting to something happening in their life. Perhaps they need a shoulder? Maybe they ought to go home? Sometimes it helps to think of them as a patient. In a sense, they have become your patient. Think about how you would react to a co-worker who is injured or sick at work. If they are agitated and rude, would you assume that it is not your problem and ignore them? Or would you try to understand what was provoking the problem and do what you could to resolve it?
I realize that sometimes others are not open to accepting that they are affecting others negatively. However, when they project their cruel or self-centered attitude onto others is not acceptable. If your clinical instructor is behaving this way with you, it is safe to assume that she is also affecting others. It is especially important to be sure this does not carry over to patients and family members. Pay attention to how she treats her patients. Just because you are a student does not mean that you cannot advocate for patients and yourself. If your gut tells you that your instructor is cruel, please listen to your gut and do something about it. Tell her how she is affecting you! You don't have to be mean or obsequious about it to be heard. You can respectfully ask her to have lunch or talk with you privately because you need her to know how you are feeling. She might not even be aware of how she is affecting you. Or she may be rude and disregard your request. If she does the later, it is time to go over her head.
If you think she is just in a funk, how can you show her how important it is for you to learn what she has to offer so that you can be the nurse you have always wanted to be? Is there a way that your ambition and positive energy can empower her? Surely there is a reason she chose to be a nurse. Why did she? We all need to examine our own actions and attitudes (defenses) when conflict arises. Most of the time, we can convey messages of support and acceptance to others which allow them to open up. Non verbal communication is powerful. Sometimes people just need a little nudge so they can remember why they chose nursing and reconnect with their values. Perhaps others in your cohort could join in on sending some laughter in her direction?
You are important and much needed. You may feel that you are alone but please remember that you are not. You have your school administration, your dean, your cohort, your charge nurse, and there are nurses all around you at clinical who want you to succeed. All of these people have been students and have been challenged by diverse attitudes and conflicts. You reaching out speaks volumes about your leadership character. Thank you for trusting us. I know you won't give up.
I hope my tangent offers you some insight or reminders of what you already know. I know I am long winded -it write fast. I don't expect you to answer my questions- just food for thought.
thank you so much everyone, you have all given me new insights into my situation, whether it is how I react or how my professor acts, I will take it all to heart and believe me I will be remembering all your words when I start feeling down.
This is one of the main reasons I wanted to be a nurse
Nurses are great people!!!!!!!! Well most of them anyway
Specializes in med surg, geriatric, clinical, pool.
I am unusually pretty sarcastic and can't pass up an opportunity to make a joke about my own and others blunders. However, I am passionate about how nurses treat one another and their patients. I have learned to be sensitive with my candor and respect that some may misinterpret my attempted wit. I learned that when I show up to work I am accountable for my actions. This includes my conduct with co-workers and students. I am also accountable for the actions of others around me if they have potential of harm. This includes that chit chat about so and so, or pt in bed 12, etc., that occurs in the med room... We all know where this leads. Remember that when your co-worker fails so do you.
Nurses are professionals and ought to be aware of how their communication affects others. This takes self-reflection even when we feel that we are under attack. Reaching a solution is not always about who is right, it is often about what works. Most of the time noncompetitive collaboration is the avenue to reaching the solution. Ignoring situations by "flying under the radar" is a setup for more escalated problems later. Sometimes we have to put our heads together so that we can grow. You know we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Those who believe that they know it all and are not willing to grow need to be reminded how dangerous this belief and attitude really is for them, as well as for everyone around them. My older brother Still never passes up the opportunity to remind me (usually at Thanksgiving dinner) of what I said to my mother when visiting home after college, "Mom, you are so much smarter!"
Those who behave self-centered and cruel may be reacting to something happening in their life. Perhaps they need a shoulder? Maybe they ought to go home? Sometimes it helps to think of them as a patient. In a sense, they have become your patient. Think about how you would react to a co-worker who is injured or sick at work. If they are agitated and rude, would you assume that it is not your problem and ignore them? Or would you try to understand what was provoking the problem and do what you could to resolve it?
I realize that sometimes others are not open to accepting that they are affecting others negatively. However, when they project their cruel or self-centered attitude onto others is not acceptable. If your clinical instructor is behaving this way with you, it is safe to assume that she is also affecting others. It is especially important to be sure this does not carry over to patients and family members. Pay attention to how she treats her patients. Just because you are a student does not mean that you cannot advocate for patients and yourself. If your gut tells you that your instructor is cruel, please listen to your gut and do something about it. Tell her how she is affecting you! You don't have to be mean or obsequious about it to be heard. You can respectfully ask her to have lunch or talk with you privately because you need her to know how you are feeling. She might not even be aware of how she is affecting you. Or she may be rude and disregard your request. If she does the later, it is time to go over her head.
If you think she is just in a funk, how can you show her how important it is for you to learn what she has to offer so that you can be the nurse you have always wanted to be? Is there a way that your ambition and positive energy can empower her? Surely there is a reason she chose to be a nurse. Why did she? We all need to examine our own actions and attitudes (defenses) when conflict arises. Most of the time, we can convey messages of support and acceptance to others which allow them to open up. Non verbal communication is powerful. Sometimes people just need a little nudge so they can remember why they chose nursing and reconnect with their values. Perhaps others in your cohort could join in on sending some laughter in her direction?
You are important and much needed. You may feel that you are alone but please remember that you are not. You have your school administration, your dean, your cohort, your charge nurse, and there are nurses all around you at clinical who want you to succeed. All of these people have been students and have been challenged by diverse attitudes and conflicts. You reaching out speaks volumes about your leadership character. Thank you for trusting us. I know you won't give up.
I hope my tangent offers you some insight or reminders of what you already know. I know I am long winded -it write fast. I don't expect you to answer my questions- just food for thought.
:grad:
Where were you when I needed you? All I ever ran into was someone wanting to get me out of nursing and I didn't even know these people. I was naive and it stills drives me crazy knowing these nursing instructors had such a handle on me. I went into nursing with all my heart only to be stomped on so many times that by the time I finally heard a compliment about me being such a good nurse it just didn't matter, I didn't believe him and he was my supervisor.
People can be rude and when I got knocked around I learned that if I wanted to survive the world of nursing, which is not at all compasionate, like I thought it would be, I had to give some of that attitude back. It worked and other nurses finally left me alone. It seemed every day was a battle I had to win, that I could not just go to work and do my best. No I had to put up with young, smart mouthed CNAs and nurses. Most were pretty good, but I suppose it is this way in any profession you choose.
I recently graduated and am at my first job. My experience at school with my clinical instructors really helped me when I started working. My clinical instructors (most of them) were nitpicking,trap laying, arrogant types that would rather die than to dish out a complment. When I first started at work, whenever someone asked me a question, I thought it was a setup to see if they could get me written up. My work place is more supportive than school ever was. However, a nurse has to remember there are a lot of people working on the same unit. Because you work with humans, things can go uniquely bad at any time. Also there is legal liability and state regulations and nursing boards. Its good to learn habits that are professional and cover your backside in case. If some one is sharp with you, maybe they are trying to convey the serious nature of the job. Or it could be they need the rest of their life off. Hang in there, heck I even get a compliment once and a while.
I have only had one try...I'm pretty sure she choked. Being a more mature student, I am not easily intimidated and am fairly secure in who I am. Also, I know I am not an idiot.
I was also a "mature" student. I was also self employed for many years. It has helped me and hurt me at work, because I'm self confident, people assume I know what I'm doing whem actually I'm just trying to do what I think is right. Because I'm a single mom and was self employed, I also try to solve problems and make decisions that I should call the supervisor and let them take care of. Over all, I think that its easier for older nurses to assimulate because we've had more experience dealing with cranky people and don't let it get to us. Also I'm not beyond snapping back if I think It'll do some good.
If I may add my $.02 as somebody not yet in the profession, I would suggest it's more of a gender issue than a profession issue. For whatever reasons, it seems that females tend to be more competitive towards and threatened by one another in the workplace than men. I have worked in high stress business situations my entire career, and I see it time and time again. I'm not sure what causes it, but I'm not surprised that it is prevalent in a female-dominated profession like Nursing.
Thankfully, I'm coming into the profession as a male, so hopefully nobody will "eat" me.
I started this career 2 weeks ago!! I know what does it mean to be eaten... but I try to remind myself I'm there for a kind smile from the patient, to help them. If I see the nurse isn't in good mood I try to ask as little as possible ( I know it isn't the best thing) and just go after her, watch and watch and learn... but sometimes I really want to ask why does she do that, how to prepare--and I can not do that.. I hope I won't give up! Sometimes I get nice words from the patients: 'don't worry, you are a good nurse!' :) and it makes easier
"Thankfully, I'm coming into the profession as a male, so hopefully nobody will "eat" me. " ROFL
But, seriously, it is not a gender issue. Nursing has a problem with this, more so than other professions. Once we admit that, we can work on it. Statements like the above quote only serve to give us excuses.
Specializes in med/surg, TELE,CM, clinica[ documentation.
We all need to learn to get along for the sakes of ourselves and our patients. The job is difficult enough without having the nurses abuse one another. We were all new at one time, perhaps we should think back to how we felt at the time when we began our careers. I am grateful for new nurses because they "rock". They are intelligent, energetic, eager and quite often can teach the older gang a thing or two. I also am grateful because they get off of orientation and take a full load and allow us to work less weekends! It is all good-- when you learn to practice tolerance and acceptance. Just my opinion.
Catlady??? From planet feline huh???? Look a couple of posts down....not only eat their young but their old too....now that is a bit more right on...lol This nurse is one who did happen to work in another field prior to becoming a nurse...trust me...in other fields people try to get ahead by attaining more education, working hard, putting in extra hours, working projects, things like that. It has only been in nursing that I have seen women attempting to advance by "eliminating" their competition...as they see it. It is soooooooo sad and I muself eve with 20 years of experience have been attacked by a few new grads on rare occassion. All I do is do my job, take the best care of my patients I can and avoid politics and the "eaters" I have no use for them and the good Lord takes care of the rest for me :wink2:
thmpr
116 Posts
I am unusually pretty sarcastic and can't pass up an opportunity to make a joke about my own and others blunders. However, I am passionate about how nurses treat one another and their patients. I have learned to be sensitive with my candor and respect that some may misinterpret my attempted wit. I learned that when I show up to work I am accountable for my actions. This includes my conduct with co-workers and students. I am also accountable for the actions of others around me if they have potential of harm. This includes that chit chat about so and so, or pt in bed 12, etc., that occurs in the med room... We all know where this leads. Remember that when your co-worker fails so do you.
Nurses are professionals and ought to be aware of how their communication affects others. This takes self-reflection even when we feel that we are under attack. Reaching a solution is not always about who is right, it is often about what works. Most of the time noncompetitive collaboration is the avenue to reaching the solution. Ignoring situations by "flying under the radar" is a setup for more escalated problems later. Sometimes we have to put our heads together so that we can grow. You know we all have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Those who believe that they know it all and are not willing to grow need to be reminded how dangerous this belief and attitude really is for them, as well as for everyone around them. My older brother Still never passes up the opportunity to remind me (usually at Thanksgiving dinner) of what I said to my mother when visiting home after college, "Mom, you are so much smarter!"
Those who behave self-centered and cruel may be reacting to something happening in their life. Perhaps they need a shoulder? Maybe they ought to go home? Sometimes it helps to think of them as a patient. In a sense, they have become your patient. Think about how you would react to a co-worker who is injured or sick at work. If they are agitated and rude, would you assume that it is not your problem and ignore them? Or would you try to understand what was provoking the problem and do what you could to resolve it?
I realize that sometimes others are not open to accepting that they are affecting others negatively. However, when they project their cruel or self-centered attitude onto others is not acceptable. If your clinical instructor is behaving this way with you, it is safe to assume that she is also affecting others. It is especially important to be sure this does not carry over to patients and family members. Pay attention to how she treats her patients. Just because you are a student does not mean that you cannot advocate for patients and yourself. If your gut tells you that your instructor is cruel, please listen to your gut and do something about it. Tell her how she is affecting you! You don't have to be mean or obsequious about it to be heard. You can respectfully ask her to have lunch or talk with you privately because you need her to know how you are feeling. She might not even be aware of how she is affecting you. Or she may be rude and disregard your request. If she does the later, it is time to go over her head.
If you think she is just in a funk, how can you show her how important it is for you to learn what she has to offer so that you can be the nurse you have always wanted to be? Is there a way that your ambition and positive energy can empower her? Surely there is a reason she chose to be a nurse. Why did she? We all need to examine our own actions and attitudes (defenses) when conflict arises. Most of the time, we can convey messages of support and acceptance to others which allow them to open up. Non verbal communication is powerful. Sometimes people just need a little nudge so they can remember why they chose nursing and reconnect with their values. Perhaps others in your cohort could join in on sending some laughter in her direction?
You are important and much needed. You may feel that you are alone but please remember that you are not. You have your school administration, your dean, your cohort, your charge nurse, and there are nurses all around you at clinical who want you to succeed. All of these people have been students and have been challenged by diverse attitudes and conflicts. You reaching out speaks volumes about your leadership character. Thank you for trusting us. I know you won't give up.
I hope my tangent offers you some insight or reminders of what you already know. I know I am long winded -it write fast. I don't expect you to answer my questions- just food for thought.
:grad: