Do you have to be mean to make it as a CNA?

crissrn27, RN · Jul 2, 2007

You sound like a very caring person, and a very good CNA. Don't let these guys push you around. Patient loads should be based on pt acuity, and you shouldn't have to take the heavy, demanding pt all the time. Speak with your charge nurse or DON, and tell them you can't keep doing this. Demand that they give you a fair assignment. Good luck, and continue to give the loving care that your patients are receiving from you (sounds like not many others will).

ricemilk · Jul 2, 2007

No, you don't have to be mean. Just because you have a big heart doesn't mean you'd be like those guys you mentioned. I understand your situation as being a nurse who cares a lot for my patients, I also am drained of my strength most of the time. But the sense of fulfillment is the one that gives me strength...knowing that at the end of the day you alleviate someone's discomfort and made them feel good, it gets you moving. :redbeathe:

It's true that 1:30 (to say the least!) ratio could absolutely overwhelm you and make you less effective in the task but that can be managed. Just prioritize who needs most of your help...so by the time you get to the next less important task, you were able to breathe even just for a short while. Sometimes you just got to be wise in dealing with situations like this...Like in military tactics, sacrifices are made to save the team, not just the particular leader or member alone. In your case, you can go "deaf" (hard but you have to) for awhile on requests which you deem unnecessary. Sometimes a little firmness on your part will help.

But if that wont work, you still have the option to jump elsewhere and start right. All in all, you deserve the best for being a great care giver! Hope you wont change that because it's totally noble. :bow:

"In everything you do, do it as unto the Lord and not as menpleasers..."

bethin · Jul 2, 2007

You sound like a very caring aide, and that's a good thing.

*There is NO reason to switch assignments. Refuse next time. It sounds like your coworkers are taking advantage of your niceness and you need to put your foot down. I don't know how long you've been an aide, but when I first started I aimed to please everyone and never spoke up when I felt I was being trampled on. Now after 6 years I have learned you have to stand up for yourself because no one else will.

I don't know your coworkers but I'm guessing you're probably the nicest out of the bunch and that's why the residents love you so much. You need to sit down with your manager and discuss this problem. Everyone needs to work as a team and yes, there will be times you are assigned a resident (or pt) that grates on your nerves. That's nursing and your coworkers need to suck it up.

I don't know who is making the assignments if it's the nurse or the aides but put your foot down. If they don't like it, tough. And I have never considered being an aide 'easy money'. If they think it's easy money then they're not doing their job.

Please do not become jaded by my comments (I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I hate to see nice people stepped on) or your coworkers. I'm afraid that at the rate you're going that you're going to become burned out and bitter. It's great when you can be friends with your coworkers but it's not necessary to. They need to share the difficult residents. It's called teamwork.

Please, please do not let this continue. First, they will ask you to take the demanding residents and next it will be something else and so on.

This is the exact reason I left LTC for a hospital setting - that and I would be left alone (and I mean alone, no nurse) while everyone was taking their 45 min smoke break.

* The only reason, IMO to change assignments if it is because it would mean taking care of a family member, pregnant nurse or aide taking care of a MRSA resident, etc.

bethin · Jul 2, 2007

Also, another reason not to take the same residents everytime is because they can become spoiled. I worked home health prn and we were switched when the manager felt we were becoming too close to a client. It's wonderful to get to know your resident well and anticipate their needs but it makes it very difficult for others to take care of them when their used to you. It becomes "well, so and so does this for me, so and so does it this way".

Maybe your coworkers need an attitude adjustment??

Gennaver, MSN · Jul 2, 2007

I...Somehow I understand now why some CNA 's are mean and uncaring because you just don't have enough time to be nice and people will overwhelm you with work....

Hello safarigirl,

As a former overly nice person, (compulsively considerate as my bro described me) I do not think you need to be 'mean' however there is a difference between inappropriate indulgances of other's reuests and neglecting to take care of yourself.

There is a balance to setting limits and rules and making agreements, (just like is necessary with children, it is necessary in a caregiver role). When everyone knows what they can expect, (i.e. good care and compassion with some rules) then there is less frustration or emotionality of feeling put off).

It felt like it took me a long time to learn this but, you cannot give good care if you are resenting the list of tasks, can you? Meanness is not necessary but knowing your limits and remaining within them is.

Good luck, you sound very caring.

Gen

MrsMommaRN · Jul 2, 2007

the answer to your original question is no! you are you for a reason. stay firm and let your nurse manager know what is going on there is no reason that things should be adjusted so sally slacker doesnt have do have a bad patient. we all have our fair share. i think it's great you are as compassionate as you are. stay that way.

being a cna is hard work, i did it for years. stay true to yourself and don't let this continue. you will be burnt out before you know it.

DusktilDawn · Jul 2, 2007

I have gotten myself in a big mess I guess by being nice. Got my CNA a few months ago through The facility I am currently working at. While in training I saw how the aides were treating the pasients...horrible...
promised myself I would never be like that. I don't ignore call lights, I listen to their complaints, help people even though they were not assigned to me etc...
Well people started requesting me when I'm working. So they always adjust my run accordingly. Add a few here, errase a few there. No biggie...But it's usually the problem pasients...the demanding ones... they take alot of my time but I do get along with them very well. I get along with everybody.
when I walk in on my shift all hell always breaks loose. I do not even have time to put my bag down, one wants water, one want het shoes tied, one wants a pillow, one wants to go to the bathroom..it goes on and on like that . What I dont understand is that why there are so many aides that are there only for the money...easy money as they call it...
There is nothing easy about the job...It's a backbreaking, emotionally draining job....and the money is certainly not that good. They do not really care, they are there to get the job done and then sit in the breakroom. I have never in the months that I worked there sat down in the breakroom. never have time to do my books in a decent way. There is just never enough time to do everything Im supposed to do. Whenever I leave a room the yelling fo my name starts, to "please come" and help with something. nobody else gets called...just me... I just cant keep up anymore. Thinking of going to a new facility and just mind my own business...so people wont actually know that I am willing to help .
I do not go out of my way to be nice, I respect everyone and treat them as human being, have a joke and a smile ready and some hugs. But I feel like a wreck everyday when I come home.
Somehow I understand now why some CNA 's are mean and uncaring because you just don't have enough time to be nice and people will overwhelm you with work.If we were all nice and friendly and caring the workload would be distributed evenly and all the pasients will feel loved and cared for.It's so much easier as it is to work with a demanding pasient if you are nice. The work gets done without big scenes, it takes time but it gets done. The big scenes takes even more time...so why not just smile , do it, keep everybody happy and call it a day.

To put it simply Safarigirl, your being taken advantage of. There is nothing wrong with being nice and doing the best job possible. You have an admirable work ethic and a good attitude, and your co-workers are taking advantage of that. Changing jobs won't change you, I can guarantee the same thing will happen if you go elsewhere, unless you change it. They will continue to sit in the breakroom while you break your back doing THEIR job. They are there to do the same job your there for.

You need to start setting limits and you need to realize your own limitations. You are setting yourself up for major burnout if you continue they way your going. With your compassionate nature, none of this will be easy, in fact you'll probably feel guilty about it. Do not EVER feel quilty about being unable to it all. You need to stop personally feeling responsible for meeting everyone else's needs, it's an impossible task that no one is capable of achieving. Look into books or seminars on self-assertion. Learn to say "NO" without feeling guilty about it.

What needs to stop is you allowing them to change your assignments, you've hit the nail on the head when you noticed it is the problem patients they are more than willing to reassign to you. Stop allowing them to change assignments, they're taking advantage of you. Tell them "No, you cannot assignment me all the heavy patients simply because they request me. I'm willing to do my fair share but I cannot do it all."

When you say as soon as you leave a room somebody is calling you for something, I'm not sure whether you mean the residents, other staff, or both. People are asking because you're not saying "NO." Learn to put limitations on your co-wokers, they're asking you because THEY don't want to deal with the slackers' attitudes. That's their problem, STOP MAKING IT YOURS. If you're busy and other staff are sitting on their duffs, learn to refer requests towards the duff-sitters. "I'm really busy, perhaps you could ask Jane," or "Jane's not busy, I'm sure she'd be more than willing to give you a hand." Yeah Jane, the one that's sitting on her behind when she should be taking care of the patients. Stop doing everyone else's job for them and don't feel guilty telling them there's something they need to do. It may seem simpler at the time to just do it, but it's obviously that's not working FOR YOU.

Learn to set limits with the patients, especially the demanding ones. Get in the habit of asking them if there is anything else they need before you leave the room and let them know that for the next hour (or 2 hours, whatever) you will be busy and won't be able to see them during that time. As Gennaver stated: "There is a balance to setting limits and rules and making agreements, (just like is necessary with children, it is necessary in a caregiver role). When everyone knows what they can expect, (i.e. good care and compassion with some rules) then there is less frustration or emotionality of feeling put off)."

You don't have to be mean, but you do need to take care of yourself.

RNperdiem, RN · Jul 2, 2007

Demanding residents are a bit like difficult kids. If you do not set limits, they will suck you dry.

A request of help to the bathroom has a higher priority than "change my channel and bend my straw." You probably already know this. It takes a little work not to let the low priority stuff ambush you on the way to help with the high priority work.

You can remain nice. "Excuse me, Mrs. X, I have a call and will help you later" if polite and firm.

dorselm · Jul 2, 2007

Boy can I relate. I have been a CNA for almost 7 months on a floor with some who have been a CNA for 10, 12, 15 yrs!!! I'm sorry but I cannot see myself being a CNA that long. I don't know that my back would hold out! Let me tell you what happened to me two weeks ago. First, I'm the type of person who thrives on teamwork. For instance, if me and another patient have, say, west hall, I will have one side of the hall and the other aide will have the other side. Any lights that go off no matter whose pt it is either one of us should get it. Two wks ago, I was working with an aide and we were supposed to be doing teamwork. We had just finished collecting the breakfast trays and three lights were going off on our hall. I immediately went to go start answering them and thought the other aide was right behind me. Why did I get out of the one pt's room and see the other two lights going off and her at the nurse's station? I had to first give myself a pep talk and remind myself that I deserve just as much respect as anyone else and if I don't stand up for something, I'll fall for anything. Two, I had to maintain my professionalism because I can't stand to be confronted in public so I don't like to do that to anyone else. So I asked to speak with the aide in the breakroom and I said C'mon now, there were three lights going off and you left me to answer them myself while you stood there and watched. See said oh no we were still collecting trays. I said trays have been collected and I just saw you standing in the same spot as you were when those lights started going off. I said I am not down here by myself and I shouldn't be working by myself. She said your right, it won't happen again and I made sure to only answer my lights after that. I felt bad for those who had to wait but I had to put my foot down. If I did answer her lights I would tell her that I put so and so on the toilet, you need to get them off.

Second situation which is an ongoing thing. I'm the type of person who does not like to see another suffer. Whenever we are passing trays be it breakfast or lunch ESPECIALLY breakfast, aides will see people's lights on and not take them to the bathroom or change them. I think that is down right cruel. I will stop passing trays to answer lights no matter whose patients they are, I don't care. I will change them if they have messed themselves because how can you know that you've messed yourself and have to sit in that while you eat?!?! Also, how can you eat your food with your stomach hurting because you're forced to hold it until after breakfast?!?! I get talked about by other aides but I don't care I just can't see people suffer like that!

I can go on and on about some of the ways people try to get over on you. You are new and you have a good heart. I believe that they will continue to get over on you for a minute but that light is going to go off and one day you won't be able to take it and you are going to stand up for yourself. A person can only take but so much.

I don't think you should leave your job, I think you should practice being assertive, not aggressive and still take care of your patients but take care of yourself too!

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Jul 2, 2007

Please don't stop being a loving and caring CNA. Just pace yourself. If you can't get to something, then ask for help. If your coworkers wont help you then speak to your superior, and go up the chain of command from there if you don't get any results. I understand how you feel, I have been in that boat many a times during the course of my career.