Do you feel that humans are innately abusive/cruel?

[susanna]

Over my years of living, I feel this way, that all persons are innately abusive and cruel to other human beings and that socialisation doesn't do much to improve this but redirects this and covers it up. I'm not saying this to be accusatory or judgmental but saying this to reaffirm that this is something that could be true and that thus should be expected from all persons(No, I didn't just get dumped; this isn't a bout of cynical and bitter pessimism). Like, this is what it means to "be human". And nothing more should be expected of human beings. What do you think?

[CHATSDALE]

people realize that you get further in life if you are good to the guy in the next line...and even school bullies grow up...most of them do anyway...i have seen mothers and teachers ignore the bullying saying' boys will be boys' but they are not doing a favor to either victim or bully

sometimes i think i see more of the bad side of people because i am short ... i have had people talk to my children asking what about me when i am standing right there...but you learn to ignore idiots

[Euskadi1946]

I would take the word of a member of the animal kingdom before I would take the word of a human!!!!

[Euskadi1946]

I would take the word of a member of the animal kingdom before I would take the word of a human!!!!

[Mister Chris, MSN, NP]

Interesting reading but did not see mentionned the film "Lord of the Flies" worth watching if you think you would like to study bullying etc in kids.

Just a thought.

Mister Chris..................

[Mister Chris, MSN, NP]

I have just noticed that this is labelled as a bad thread - why.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I think that from the moment of birth there exists in children an inborn temperament - we aren't blank slates. Some kids grow up to be more willfully defiant than others. Some are easier to "grow" than others. We are born self-centered - of course this doesn't mean the baby actively thinks self-centeredly (is that a word? :) . .. but the world revolves around the baby for awhile. It is parent's job and society's job to provide good examples. Of course there are people who have mental problems that complicates this and there are people who are either born sociopathic or are molded that way. Just a small idea of how to help children value others was in a newsletter I read recently:

Helping Your Child Value Others

Are your children under the impression that the world revolves around them? Are they unwilling to share their toys? Do they taunt or tease younger children?

Teaching your children to demonstrate value toward others is a vital step in developing key virtues, including self-control, compassion and benevolence. Here are a few tips:

Family first. Showing respect to others starts at home.

Make sure your children play fair, take turns and honor Mom and Dad.

Refrain from jokes that embarrass or belittle.

Proper use of "please" and "thank you" is a must.

Children should ask to be excused rather than dashing away from the dinner table. Avoid TV programs that mock and ridicule in the name of comedy.

Model it. Let your children see you showing appreciation for others in everyday situations.

When you take your children to the grocery store, let an elderly person cut in front of you at the checkout line.

Be polite to the cashier.

Instead of leaving your cart in an empty parking space, make a point of moving it to the corral. Explain to your child that by putting the cart away, you're showing that you value others.

The same principle holds true for them when it's time to put away toys and games.

Instill empathy. When your children are rude or insensitive, make them aware that their behavior hurts the feelings of others and, in the end, could cost them their friends. Explain the significance of the Golden Rule: "Do to others what you would have them do to you."

Create opportunities. After your children watch a rented or borrowed video, give them the all-important job of rewinding it. Tell them that this simple act is a way of showing value to the next person who watches the video. When your children grasp the significance of valuing others, try something more ambitious, such as volunteering at a soup kitchen or visiting a shut-in.

--Scott DeNicola

[CHATSDALE]

stevielynn that was a wonderful post....