Do your dying patient's have company?

[mchospicern]

It has been my experience that the dying are not alone. Unscientifically speaking, about 90% of the people I take care of tell me, near the end of their lives, that they've been visited by deceased loved ones, and sometimes by kindly strangers. This didn't matter if they were on opiods, didn't matter what they were dying from. Does any one have some experiences of unseen visitors that they'll never forget?

One I will remember fondly is M. She asked me, "Can I have a drink? Don't give any more to my dad, he's had enough already."

I asked her, "M., where are you?"

She said, "I'm at a party, at the Smiths'"

Good for her!!!

[virmm1, LPN]

You did what you should have in that kind of situation. I know that guilt plays tricks with your mind and makes you play the "what if" game.

A few years ago my friends and I were on our way to a club and came across a woman in the road asking for help. She said her husband was having a heart attack. We pulled over and there was her husband in the truck. Vomiting but still breathing, still had a pulse. I pulled him out of the truck and layed him on his side keeping watch on his breathing and pulse until the ambulance got there. He ended up dying and at the time I didn't realize that it was my old basketball coach and Vice Principal of my school. I cried for days thinking I didn't do all I could have. It bothers me to this day!

He was breathing and had a pulse, there was no need for CPR or Rescue Breathing. You did the right thing by lying him on his side.

[Nocturne121]

What a wonderful thread. I hope to renew it. Like I posted in one of my threads my dying patient would smile every once in awhile and hold his hands up like he was reaching for something.

Please share any stories. I love to hear about these things. I am such a believer.

I too believe. Some of my coworkers think I am nuts... Oh well such is life

and death. Plus I myself think I am nuts sometimes! :wink2:

I have had many patients that see relatives and talk to them before their passing. I never tell them no one is there, I just tell them I don't see them. I can sometimes FEEL them!!! I mentioned elsewere that I think people are guided to the next world and sometimes I think we (nurses) are the one's they feel comfortable enough with to let go of this world and move on to the next.

And what of patients that are dying, but wait until a loved one makes it to thier bedside?

Recently I had a patient that had been on our unit for a couple of weeks. Her suffering was great sometimes. The family made her a DNR which really was the most humane thing under the circumstances. When it became inevitable that the end of her life was approaching her family gathered. I came on shift. I introduced myself to the patient, now unresponsive and to the family. They questioned when and you can never tell them exactly. They told me that they wanted her to remain long enough for the one child of hers that was not there, to arrive. He was driving in, about 3 hours out. Suddenly I knew when, but I didn't say. I told my coworker that she would die die that shift, but that she was waiting on her son to arrive. All 7 of her other children were there. They told me how devoted a mother she was and that her life was lived for her children. I left them alone, checked in intermittently. Hours later I lookrf and saw, from the monitor at the nurses station, her heart rate had slowed where she had been consistently about 90. I went into the room; the other child had arrived and I watched as she brady'd down and took her last breath. 5 minutes did not pass from the time her son arrived to the time she died.

I'm told that when he got there, he went to the bedside, spoke to her, she opened her eyes and looked at him, closed them again and that was it...I wasn't there at the bedside, but I am sure it is true.

A mothers love and devotion all the way to the end...of life.

[leslie :-D]

i don't know if my story is relevant but found it appropriate to share.

on monday i went to the hospital where my mother was in icu in critical condition. i had gone to this hospital to discontinue all treatments, get her off the ventilator and start comfort care.

meanwhile i had written someone on this board that i was going to be leaving for the hospital.

when i returned from the hospital (my mother passed within the hour of stopping treatments) i found an email from this person who described her dream of holding her own mother just very peacefully and lovingly. in the dream her mother wasn't dying but it was still that part of the dream of she holding her mom very closely to her and reveling in the peace and love they shared.

when my mom was taken off all treatments, the nurse had moved my mom to one side of the bed as i got into bed next to her and held her closely to me, very very peaceful and loving, and did so til she took her last breath.

so my point is this connection between the dream that was told to me and me holding my own mother til she left this earth.

this person, to me, had sensed the very intimate bonding my mom and i shared together as evidenced by her holding her own mother the same way in her dream.

and this dream happened on the day that my mother passed.

i so strongly feel that spiritual energies are everywhere and present themselves in different ways.

so yes, as a hospice nurse, i have seen dozens and dozens of this phenomena of patients seeing their loved ones from the other side, talking to them as if they were sitting right next to their bed, except my patients talk to their loved ones from the ceiling....

leslie

[Blackcat99]

My mum sat up in bed, looked down the ward, and said "It's me dad!". I know my grandad had come for her. She passed away 48 hours later. I'll never forget that.

I cried when I read this one. I am praying with all my heart that I will be able to be with my Dad once again.