Do your dying patient's have company?

Wren · Jul 21, 2003

I've had quite a lot of dying patients who have had "visitations" of one sort or another but a couple will always stick in my mind.

One was an elderly lady and I cared for her dying son-in-law with whom she lived. She developed pancreatic CA a few months after he died and I was back in the home to care for her. Days before she died she began talking about a cat that she loved (it had died many years ago) and she would stroke and talk to her ghost kitty. We had to transfer her to a nursing home during her last day or two of life and she instructed the EMTs to be careful of her cat (lying in bed with her) and bless them, they took great care with a cat they couldn't see!

One day I found another lovely woman who struggled a lot with letting go and dying sitting up in bed looking just radiant and not at all confused. She informed me that the angels had been to visit her and told her the meaning of life. (Said with much excitement and glee). Since I haven't actually figured out the meaning of life, I was quite interested in the answer! Then she said, Our only job on earth is to love each other. She marveled at that and told me of struggles she'd had and how none of it mattered. She was almost giddily happy for the additional 3 or 4 days that she lived and she never tired of discussing her heavenly messengers. I'll never forget it as long as I live.

Noney · Jul 21, 2003

PeggySue

I've felt that present in a room following a death. I feel privledged to have had that experience. I have talked to alot of coworkers and most have never felt it. It's a very peaceful feeling. I haven't felt it in years.

I'm starting to think I've turned too hard to feel it. It's sad to be a hardened nurse.

Dixen81 · Jul 22, 2003

Noney,

Just because you haven't felt that presence lately doesn't mean that you are a hardened nurse. Maybe we felt it because of our closeness to the one who died; I don't know. But you're right, it is an incredibly peaceful feeling. How long have you been a nurse? I am just a student right now; a 42 year old student.

Best wishes. :)

Nightcrawler, BSN, RN · Jul 30, 2003

I am currently studying to be a nurse, but when my grandmother was dying several years ago, I would take the bus up to visit and take care of her whenever I could during the year it took her to go through the process. My grandmother started to have visitors within the first four months. At first the presences weren't anyone that she knew, but she would talk about that nice lady in the wedding dress that was living in the playhouse in the yard. Needless to say, we all thought that this was a little strange. :eek: At about the six month point, the guests moved into the house. She started refering to my grandfather as if he were still alive in conversation, and reaching over to pat the couch beside her as if she was patting him on the knee like she had when he was alive. That wasn't the only thing. The dog started to go crazy, barking and trotting through the house looking up and prancing, just like she used to follow my grandfather through the house when he would get home at night. My grandfather was a prankster in life, and he continued to be in death. My sister and I would prepare to go to bed, turning off the lights and the tv in the living room and start up the stairs. Several times the lamp or the tv would turn itself on just as we reached the landing. I would just laugh, say "very funny grandpa", go down and turn everything off again. I never felt threatened by any of the presences, and I know that they comforted my grandmother and made the process easier for her to bear and accept. That is all that matters.

wyndwalker · Aug 13, 2003

I'm a CNA working in a 16 bed Hospice care center...I believe it's a very spiritual place and have had many of my patients receive "visitors" - I've also seen things that aren't quite explainable to those not involved with hospice...however, twice now, I've seen a golden light come over my patients...the 1st time, I even saw a beautiful blue light (it brought tears to my eyes & took my breath away)...

I was so freaked out the 1st time it happened...I had trouble sleeping for two days...I finally talked to the Hospice Chaplain, who assured me that I wasn't crazy and that I'd been given a gift and to just accept it as that...I thought I was okay with it, until it happened again tonight...it overwhelmed me again...Is there anyone else out there that's seen the lights ???

I don't think they were a figment of my imagination and I truly know that I'm not the same person I was before I saw the lights.....

Beth

Wren · Aug 13, 2003

Beth, this is not quite the same thing but I was once at a gathering to listen to a man speak who is known for his work with the dying and impoverished. He was speaking that night about compassion. A couple of times I noticed that he had lovely purple lighting that appeared to radiate from around and behind him (he was on a stage) I mentioned to my friend that I like the way the stage was lit and he just looked at me funny. I noticed later that the lighting was "turned off" and later found out that there was no lighting other than the usual overhead.

Like you, I know that I saw it. Since then someone told me then that purple is the color of compassion and that I probably saw an "aura". If so, it is the only one I've ever seen!

I agree though that you've been given a marvelous gift!

wyndwalker · Aug 14, 2003

Wren, thanks for your reply...One of my nurses said something about aura's, but not sure that's what I'm seeing...will have to wait and "see". How awesome that you've seen your own lights..Thank-You for sharing, hope we get some more posts...

Beth

Mazzi · Aug 15, 2003

This is a neat post. As a hospice nurse, I have many stories about this subject. Most memorable is when a pt. woke for the day and realized he had not passed yet, his wife asked if he wanted anything for breakfast. He told her what he wanted and asked if there was enough for everyone. Not seeing any one else there, she asked if there were others in the room. He said " Yes, but if you don't see them, then don't feed them. She had to laugh.

seasonedlpn · Aug 17, 2003

AFTER my father died, he gave me instructions for my mom. he told me to teach her to drive, keep the house, and keep the poodle trimmed. When my sister and I got to the mortuary, the Ladies room smelled like "Old Spice", my Dad's after shave. I then heard his voice (inside my head) complain about the cost of the casket! I told my sister that Daddy was mad....but she didn't believe me. At the cemetary, my father said,"better get one for your mother, too." I told my sister, "Maybe we should get two plots." she told me not to be morbid....then I said, "no, for Mom."....and she thought that was a good idea.I didn't bother to tell her it wasn't MY idea.

When my son died, we postponed the funeral until his friends could come from other states. His nickname was "smartass", and it continued to fit for weeks AFTER the funeral. His childhood friend heard him say, "Tell then I'm OK"

He wasn't sure what to make of it. I gave each of his friends something to remind them of their times together....the childhood friend got his fishing gear . He wasn't sure if it was OK to have it.....he told me he could "make the answer come, but it wasn't the same" (as being told to 'tell them I'm OK'. )Just then the poor boy got a strange look on his face, reached down to my kitchen floor and picked up a live night-crawler! I just said, "nice touch, son", and the boy knew the fishing gear was his.My son continued his "gotchas" for several weeks, I'd get calls from all over the US...."could he make it to.........?" I'd just say, "yes, why, what did he do?" He's been dead for 17 years now, but those stories still bring a smile to my face.

LIFE: A sexually transmitted, terminal, condition.

JUSTYSMOM · Aug 29, 2003

Hi,

Before my grandmother died, my uncle (who was by her side) watched her reach her arms up towards the right side of the ceiling. She wouldn't drop her arms or take her eyes off that part of the ceiling. Shortly afterwards, she passed on.

The day my mother died, I was driving to the hospital by myself for a last visit. On the way there, I was hit with a TREMENDOUS feeling of inner peace. It radiated throughout my whole being. I felt that a few more times throughout the day until she died that night.

At her funeral, the immediate family was able to see her privately in an open casket. We were floored by how beautiful and at peace she looked! She literally looked 20 years younger.

She had been diagnosed with advanced metastic breast cancer 5 months earlier. She also had a trach in place. because one of the tumors had attached to her vocal chords and paralyzed them. She had looked so horrible. She didn't even make it to hospice.

While we were in the room with her, we all felt the same inner feeling of peace & happiness. We were almost giddy with happiness. It was wonderful.

That night, my sister had a "dream" that my mother came to her and told her that she was fine. She also said that although she missed us, we had to go on and be strong.

In addition, I had a "dream" that she was sitting next to me in my bed and hugging me. It felt so real that I woke up with my arms wrapped around my own body.

Thanks for letting me share this experience. To be honest with you, I want to thank all hospice nurses who take care of the dieing. You really are so special & appreciated.

Jules

proud2basn · Oct 2, 2003

Originally posted by CANRN
Yes, I agree. My father passed away at home, he told my Mom one day to open the door and "let them in." She did, he was waving them in and suddenly said "CLOSE THE DOOR! Don't let that one in!"

I believe in our deceased family and friends come to guide us.

I love that! That just shows you that there is humor in life including the dying process. My mom had hospice for the last couple of months and I know that they helped her. They made her laugh right up to the end.

Hospice Nurses are Angels in Disquise!

:nurse:

Dixen81 · Oct 2, 2003

I like to believe that when it's my time to go, that my Dad will come and escort me. I sure hope so, anyway.