She's loud and outspoken. Markedly unattractive and overweight, in her mid 40s, she describes herself as having been in the ICU "forever." She's large and in charge, and everyone knows better than to argue with her because she's always right, and there's only way to do everything. An adult learner, she was a former waitress or CNA before "gettin' her RN" now attending an online-for profit school for her BSN or, more likely, refusing to further her education at all. She has been uplifted from a low income upbringing to "professional status" and for years has been drunk on an artificial sense of authority as an RN. Her particularly favorite hobbies include talking endlessly about her experience, describing the problems she has with "today's young nurses," and behaving rudely toward float nurses and travel nurses and medical interns just getting out of school because "they should know how to do all this without asking." She also makes frequent trips to the manager's office to pester and annoy.
I transitioned from my hospital's float pool to the medical ICU about 6 months ago, and we have one of these in my unit. I don't think I've ever met anyone with as rotten a personality as this individual. Luckily I have never been one of her targets.
"Anyone who takes a dump in the lounge bathroom is going to taste my shoe heel for a week! No one better be doing THAT." (Dictating the rules of the use of the staff bathroom, believing that any nurse or tech with the urge to empty their bowels need do so in a different part of the hospital)
"You could literally get FIRED for eating that. That's considered STEALING. That may have flown over on such and such floor, but not here!" (To a float nurse who didn't have time to break and took a package of two saltines to eat)
"Guys, you see that traveler Jen who started last week? She's always in her patients rooms, and you can never find her when you need help. It's because she has nothing to do so she stays in her patients rooms so she doesn't have to come out and help. Just watch you guys, that's how she's going to be all day." (Spoken at 730AM as being are just finishing getting report. Great way to start the day!)
Do you have (or are you one of) these dips running around in your unit? What do you think of these types? This person also orients people, thankfully on a very seldom basis because she's not a preceptor of choice. I have made reference to her in my other threads about bullies, and people have said she is not a bully.
What do you think? Use this thread to talk about "veteran bully queens of the ICU" or any med-surg floor.
The behavior I described is specifically characteristic of nurses who have grown what people refer to as "comfortable" in their work setting. In my opinion, these are limited people. You will almost never see fresh new nurses as you put it behaving in the way I described, trying to rule over the unit, being afraid of new threats to their power structure, and so forth.
Then you need to come to my job.
Wannabe's abound...
New, and/or seasoned, jockeying for positions of charge nurse/supervisor but can't handle the workload, like to NOT take ownership of med errors or giving expired meds, love to buck P&P because "it doesn't make sense"; want to huddle together over a pt instead of intervene properly, disregard pt safety and fire safety codes, and will let discrepancies go for days but have the gall to talk about in distain, yet they were present for those days and could've rectified the problem.
This takes the cake: Calling to ask about administration of medications NOT on their shift while said nurse is sleeping and just got off the shift-not a supervisor mind you, then turn around and contact the doctor and state the wrong med was given, because of a policy and procedure method occurred, and this particular individual NOT understanding policy and procedure. After being talked to about it, continues to contact the doctor to state what others are allegedly doing wrong, but not taking ownership with THEIR errors, loving to surround themselves in a halo of being "right", but so, so VERY wrong and bordering on incredibly flawed and incompetent, basically stupid.
Approach them with logic, and brevity (gentle guidance not effective from senior members), and reality based approaches needed and delivered; I'm sure they think I'm a bully and to be honest, my siggy line says it best; I DON'T have patience with incompetence, but don't come to me with the ridiculous; ain't nobody got time for THAT!
Because they see themselves in them & it may scare them that they are like that.
I must say that I find that analysis a bit overly generalized and simplistic. Personally I had to edit my post and add a paragraph questioning the relevance of the description of the nurse’s physical appearance, when it finally registered.
What conclusion do you draw from that? That I’m beautiful and skinny and didn’t feel like OP’s rather harsh description had anything to do with me? Or is the answer that I’m overweight and ugly as a toad, yet comfortable in my own skin? Or perhaps I’m simply not a very attentive reader?
There are likely many different reasons why people perceive and react to a specific post in a certain way. Just as there are many reasons why someone else in turn reacts to the reaction the way they do.
My thought process when initially reading the post was that I wondered what motivated OP to write it, and what the desired outcome was (I kind of still do ). Not important enough to voice, just something that I filed away in the back of my mind.
The other reflection I made, in private, was that the antagonist in this narrative displayed a rather inconsistent behavior. Crude language and a loud, confrontational attitude coupled with a nit-picking disposition I personally associate with a completely different type of person. These “do everything by the book” type personalities in my experience, normally show more restraint in body language and tone. I thought it was an oddity. I’ve encountered both types of behavior, just not in the same person.
What do my thought processes tell you? Apart from the very obvious fact that I spend too much energy analyzing inconsequential stuff on the internet?
How much do I weigh, how do I look, am I a bully? Am I scared that I might be one?
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
Yes, those for profit schools must create some nasty nurses. NOBODY from non profit schools are mean, rude or ignorant. Here you go again!
And no, I have never worked with anyone like that and I probably never will because it all seems blown out of proportion. Why not write about something positive?
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
I must say that I find that analysis a bit overly generalized and simplistic. Personally I had to edit my post and add a paragraph questioning the relevance of the description of the nurse’s physical appearance, when it finally registered.
What conclusion do you draw from that? That I’m beautiful and skinny and didn’t feel like OP’s rather harsh description had anything to do with me? Or is the answer that I’m overweight and ugly as a toad, yet comfortable in my own skin? Or perhaps I’m simply not a very attentive reader?
There are likely many different reasons why people perceive and react to a specific post in a certain way. Just as there are many reasons why someone else in turn reacts to the reaction the way they do.
My thought process when initially reading the post was that I wondered what motivated OP to write it, and what the desired outcome was (I kind of still do ). Not important enough to voice, just something that I filed away in the back of my mind.
The other reflection I made, in private, was that the antagonist in this narrative displayed a rather inconsistent behavior. Crude language and a loud, confrontational attitude coupled with a nit-picking disposition I personally associate with a completely different type of person. These “do everything by the book” type personalities in my experience, normally show more restraint in body language and tone. I thought it was an oddity. I’ve encountered both types of behavior, just not in the same person.
What do my thought processes tell you? Apart from the very obvious fact that I spend too much energy analyzing inconsequential stuff on the internet?
How much do I weigh, how do I look, am I a bully? Am I scared that I might be one?
If you go back and look at the OP threads, he loves to pot stir on AN. It's rather toxic, IMO.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I too, feel disdain at your reference to her background and looks. It says to me a LOT about YOU.....even more than about her. Often people reflect what you put out there, even in energy and "invisible" attitudinal ways. Rather an immature post. Although I will agree, bullies are horrible to deal with and exist in any unit. But your post left me feeling a bit sorry for her, if anything. Be part of the solution; perhaps by being nice to her even if she is not, and not talking her down all over the unit or hospital, that would be a start.
I thought this post was brilliantly written! Your use of descriptive words painted a vivid picture of how my "Bully queen" acts and looks. Without the imagery, it wouldn't have been an interesting read!
Is it mean to talk about how ppl look or their "class"... Yes... But I find it interesting that your picture of the Bully Queen matches the exact description of mine! This is your personal experience and some ppl are unable to handle it because they probably identify with the description in some way, shape or form.
We had one of those at my last job - and you got the description down to a T.
I think the appearance stuff was relevant. I have noticed an attitude difference in the thin, pretty bully queens and the not so pretty bully queens. Once again, just my personal experience, but the thin, pretty ones are more likely to be nice to your face but backstab you, and the not so pretty ones are downright confrontational in your face at all times. I expect it's a defense mechanism - they might just be expecting others to attack them for their appearance since society puts such a value on being perfect and so they are taking the initiative and taking the first strike or something. I don't know. Either way, I prefer working with the ones who fit the description in this post perfectly - they are more likely to be obvious about their behavior. It's the thin, fake-plastic Barbie ones who sucker you into befriending them first and then turn on you.
Obviously, this is just what I've seen, and I am making no broad statement about personality traits based on a person's weight.
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
I thought this post was brilliantly written! Your use of descriptive words painted a vivid picture of how my "Bully queen" acts and looks. Without the imagery, it wouldn't have been an interesting read!
Is it mean to talk about how ppl look or their "class"... Yes... But I find it interesting that your picture of the Bully Queen matches the exact description of mine! This is your personal experience and some ppl are unable to handle it because they probably identify with the description in some way, shape or form.
Umm no. It's just that this OP is a bully himself (read other posts of his. He picks on certain people). Secondly, you can't lump everyone into a mold.
Maybe the OP went to a for profit school and is ugly because he bullies? Just a thought.
I work with a woman who had health issues and isn't the prettiest person. However she it's amazingly warm and such a patient advocate. Went to a for profit school too.
). Not important enough to voice, just something that I filed away in the back of my mind. 
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
Then you need to come to my job.
Wannabe's abound...
New, and/or seasoned, jockeying for positions of charge nurse/supervisor but can't handle the workload, like to NOT take ownership of med errors or giving expired meds, love to buck P&P because "it doesn't make sense"; want to huddle together over a pt instead of intervene properly, disregard pt safety and fire safety codes, and will let discrepancies go for days but have the gall to talk about in distain, yet they were present for those days and could've rectified the problem.
This takes the cake: Calling to ask about administration of medications NOT on their shift while said nurse is sleeping and just got off the shift-not a supervisor mind you, then turn around and contact the doctor and state the wrong med was given, because of a policy and procedure method occurred, and this particular individual NOT understanding policy and procedure. After being talked to about it, continues to contact the doctor to state what others are allegedly doing wrong, but not taking ownership with THEIR errors, loving to surround themselves in a halo of being "right", but so, so VERY wrong and bordering on incredibly flawed and incompetent, basically stupid.
Approach them with logic, and brevity (gentle guidance not effective from senior members), and reality based approaches needed and delivered; I'm sure they think I'm a bully
and to be honest, my siggy line says it best; I DON'T have patience with incompetence, but don't come to me with the ridiculous; ain't nobody got time for THAT! 