I'm a relatively new DNS, but I've been a nurse for 25 years and have had every nursing job there is to have in LTC and then some. How do all y'all deal with disrespectful staff? I don't mind a spirited discussion but I am mighty tired of nurses saying "How do YOU know?" Mind you I've been a nurse longer than they've been on the planet. They complain about everything, feel 'entitled' as new nurses, and are so rude it's unbelievable. One of them today was complaining and said she was over worked because she had 33 patients on a 2p-10p shift. I explained to her that she had no sick people, no IVs, no trachs, no dressings...she said 'Why don't YOU try it'. I told her that I had worked on a true sub acute floor and had 30 patients for meds, treatments, 5 IV's with antibiotics every 4 hours, 2 fresh trachs, 3 central lines for TPN, 2 people at life's end from AIDS AND I had to do my own MDSs. She said "You did that and got out on time?" Yes I did I told her. "Then you must be a better nurse than I am and besides it was probably 20 years ago." I was speechless. I wanted to tell her I AM a better nurse than she is and it wasn't that long ago. Instead I told her if she was going to speak to me in that tone of voice, she could leave the office. She slammed the door on the way out. I am at my wit's end on how to deal with these totally unreasonable fresh nurses. Any advice?
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
You're right. You didn't hear her tone of voice. It started when she raised her voice to me as soon as she came in my office. I know the nurses work hard....been there done that with sicker patients then she has. I don't need to defend myself or my actions to you. Suffice it to say that the nurses think they run the building and do not accept any kind of advice or criticism no matter how constructive it is.
A nurse from a different floor came down and said she was over worked because the 8pm med pass was too heavy and what should she do. We sat together and arrived at a good plan which will make her job easier.
I am not a tyrant, but I am the boss. If you disagree with me, that's fine but don't come in my office yelling at me and telling me I don't know what it's like to work hard.
By the way, a few days later the nurse told the administrator she was sorry for 'yelling and being mean and disrespectful to me. I told the administrator that she didn't apologize to me. The administrator said "She told me she's afraid of you because you're so tall."....I've been called many things in life, but tall isn't one of them. The nurse and I are exactly the same height.
I'm a relatively new DNS, but I've been a nurse for 25 years and have had every nursing job there is to have in LTC and then some. How do all y'all deal with disrespectful staff? I don't mind a spirited discussion but I am mighty tired of nurses saying "How do YOU know?" Mind you I've been a nurse longer than they've been on the planet. They complain about everything, feel 'entitled' as new nurses, and are so rude it's unbelievable. One of them today was complaining and said she was over worked because she had 33 patients on a 2p-10p shift. I explained to her that she had no sick people, no IVs, no trachs, no dressings...she said 'Why don't YOU try it'. I told her that I had worked on a true sub acute floor and had 30 patients for meds, treatments, 5 IV's with antibiotics every 4 hours, 2 fresh trachs, 3 central lines for TPN, 2 people at life's end from AIDS AND I had to do my own MDSs. She said "You did that and got out on time?" Yes I did I told her. "Then you must be a better nurse than I am and besides it was probably 20 years ago." I was speechless. I wanted to tell her I AM a better nurse than she is and it wasn't that long ago. Instead I told her if she was going to speak to me in that tone of voice, she could leave the office. She slammed the door on the way out. I am at my wit's end on how to deal with these totally unreasonable fresh nurses. Any advice?
I'm a student nurse. I'm a longtime former manager. That's my perspective. Since you asked for advice, here's what I think.
It sounds like you need management training. All new managers do. Should your supervisee have slammed the door and spoken to you in a rude tone? No. But consider what she was reacting to.
She came to you with a problem. Instead of helping her, you essentially told her she was incompetent. You say you're sick of hearing nurses complain. So you responded -- in this case -- by essentially telling her to shut up. Why not spend five minutes listening and talking about ways she might reorganize her work? Why not let her benefit from all the experience you claim to have? (Of course, if she repeatedly acts in an insubordinate manner, that's another issue.)
As other posters have noted, respect is earned, not awarded with your management title. Managers earn respect in part by treating their employees with respect. That's leadership by example. If I were you, I'd track down that supervisee, tell her you regret how the exchange ended, and spend 10 minutes talking about how to reorganize her work. Will it make a difference in how she does her job? Maybe. But either way, she'll know that you do listen and that you don't consider yourself infallible. And that might help you win some of the respect you feel you deserve.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
I'm a new DNS NOT a new manager. Spend some time in the real world (with or without your asbestos panties on) and perhaps read the post again. At no time did I belittle her or tell her she wasn't a good nurse. Do you think I was hired because I don't know anything? Sometimes things are the way they are and there is no getting around that. LTC is a business and all businesses have budgets. I have to stay within mine. I was and am more than willing to try to help the nurses, but not when they come and scream at me. I do not scream at them, ever, and I would expect the same courtesy from them.
I will keep this in english for all those who do not speak french/spanish or whatever that was. I feel that its not what she said its how she said it. Its not like nurses are going to bang down the door to take care of 33 patients on a shift. You have to sort of meet them in the middle. Listen to what they are complaining about. Write down a few points as they are speaking. This shows you are truely listening and taking into consideration a possible solution. You may say that you will bring up the concerns with those above you. Make sure its clear that for now 33 patients are waiting on their nurse. You can't disregard what someones says because they are upset. Don't take it that personal. It would be rude if she was someone you just met on the street. But this is a nurse who feels she is under water.
I will keep this in english for all those who do not speak french/spanish or whatever that was. You can't disregard what someones says because they are upset. Don't take it that personal. It would be rude if she was someone you just met on the street. But this is a nurse who feels she is under water.
I wont say it in latin, but you are right on here. LTC is an incredibly frustrating place to work sometimes and if you are human, there will come a day if you stay in LTC long enough, when you have had enough and it spills out in a loud, upset tone of voice, maybe this is the BEST time to actually listen, the truth will most likely be said at this point.
No I do not think it's o.k. to stick a finger in any bodies face. Respect should be given to a boss and or employee. I would probably fired her or him on the spot. I feel if maners and respect were used more often people wouldn't get in so much trouble. What happened to the good old days.
I am a fresh nurse and I don't agree with firing her on the spot. We don't know the full circumstance of the situation, not saying it is right for the "fresh nurse" to behave in that manner but we have to look at both sides. I feel that the manager should have said that it is inappropriate for the "fresh nurse" to speak to her in that manner as she did not speak to her in that way. And yes, I thought as nurses we plan before we implement. Supervisors has to understand that some of their workers will have complaints and we are always told to go to the manager if you have a problem. What she could have done was what another person said which is to show her how to handle her time, and although 30 patients sounds outrageous to me regardless of no IV or meds, the new nurse was suppose to be told what the nurse-patient ratio was before she accepted her position. If this occurred then she agreed to take on that challenge. So they, both supervisor and nurse, should both work on problem solving for the "fresh nurse' time management. As a manager, this nurse should have tried to understand what the "fresh nurse" real problem is, just as we try to do for a new patient coming in the ED. However, the "fresh nurse" should understand the mutual respect that is to be given to all human beings and not just a supervisor.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
She's NOT a new nurse....she's worked there for more than 3 years. I haven't always agreed with my supervisors on their decisions and at more than one time I have felt overwhelmed. However, at NO time did I treat my bosses with anything less than the respect they deserved. But then again, that's me. I don't call out, keep up with new developments in the field, and give 100% every day I'm at work.
I'm a relatively new DNS, but I've been a nurse for 25 years and have had every nursing job there is to have in LTC and then some. How do all y'all deal with disrespectful staff? I don't mind a spirited discussion but I am mighty tired of nurses saying "How do YOU know?" Mind you I've been a nurse longer than they've been on the planet. They complain about everything, feel 'entitled' as new nurses, and are so rude it's unbelievable. One of them today was complaining and said she was over worked because she had 33 patients on a 2p-10p shift. I explained to her that she had no sick people, no IVs, no trachs, no dressings...she said 'Why don't YOU try it'. I told her that I had worked on a true sub acute floor and had 30 patients for meds, treatments, 5 IV's with antibiotics every 4 hours, 2 fresh trachs, 3 central lines for TPN, 2 people at life's end from AIDS AND I had to do my own MDSs. She said "You did that and got out on time?" Yes I did I told her. "Then you must be a better nurse than I am and besides it was probably 20 years ago." I was speechless. I wanted to tell her I AM a better nurse than she is and it wasn't that long ago. Instead I told her if she was going to speak to me in that tone of voice, she could leave the office. She slammed the door on the way out. I am at my wit's end on how to deal with these totally unreasonable fresh nurses. Any advice?
Your posting is in reference to new nurses. Unless I am reading wrong
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
She's not 'new' to nursing....supposedly worked in an ICU and surgery in another country before coming here. She's been a nurse here for 3 years, so everything being relative....is that still new? It's not just her...it's most of the new grads I meet. We have one ...she had a 5 week orientation which is unheard of in LTC. She has called out more than anyone in the building but yet thinks we should thank her for picking up extra shifts...she calls out on those too. I think it's a generational thing.
She's not 'new' to nursing....supposedly worked in an ICU and surgery in another country before coming here. She's been a nurse here for 3 years, so everything being relative....is that still new? It's not just her...it's most of the new grads I meet. We have one ...she had a 5 week orientation which is unheard of in LTC. She has called out more than anyone in the building but yet thinks we should thank her for picking up extra shifts...she calls out on those too. I think it's a generational thing.
You should thank her for those shifts. She is taking time out of her personal life to help cover shifts.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
Noryn said:
You should thank her for those shifts. She is taking time out of her personal life to help cover shifts.
She DOESN'T do the shifts. She signs up for them and then calls out. What about that should I thank her for? Oh,thanks for once again messing up the schedule by signing up for shifts and then calling out at the last minute? Are all y'all for real?
CapeCodMermaid, RN
6,092 Posts
You're right. You didn't hear her tone of voice. It started when she raised her voice to me as soon as she came in my office. I know the nurses work hard....been there done that with sicker patients then she has. I don't need to defend myself or my actions to you. Suffice it to say that the nurses think they run the building and do not accept any kind of advice or criticism no matter how constructive it is.
A nurse from a different floor came down and said she was over worked because the 8pm med pass was too heavy and what should she do. We sat together and arrived at a good plan which will make her job easier.
I am not a tyrant, but I am the boss. If you disagree with me, that's fine but don't come in my office yelling at me and telling me I don't know what it's like to work hard.
By the way, a few days later the nurse told the administrator she was sorry for 'yelling and being mean and disrespectful to me. I told the administrator that she didn't apologize to me. The administrator said "She told me she's afraid of you because you're so tall."....I've been called many things in life, but tall isn't one of them. The nurse and I are exactly the same height.