Discussions always so hostile here?

rn/writer, RN · Jul 23, 2011

I'm one of the staff members, and I wanted to connect with you after reading about what an unpleasant time you've had here at AN.

A couple of things you said stood out to me. One is that you didn't have access to a computer and weren't online for a few years. Coming online now could be exposing you to a form of culture shock, like trying to jump into a double Dutch jump rope game or step onto a "people mover" sidewalk that's going too fast. It can take a while to get your bearings and feel safe again.

Another thing you mentioned was losing a good part of your life through a disability. That, too, can change your perspective, although I'm sure you could tell me far more about that than I could tell you. I just know that when a person is trying to cope with loss and the many limitations a disability can bring, it can be very difficult to hang on to positives. Coming to a site like this with its rough-and-tumble exchanges may make it even more of a challenge.

The climate here at AN has its ebbs and flows. The tightened economy has strained many of the new grads and others who simply cannot find work. They're worried about finances and frustrated that no one seems to want the knowledge and the skills they worked so hard to obtain. They can get a little edgy, but I can't blame them too much.

I've also noticed cycles that defy explanation. Full moon? Barometric pressure? Or lately, maybe it's the heat. I can't say for sure. I only know that when this happens, we in the staff forums notice many more reported threads and have to put out more fires than usual. But then things will settle down for a while. It's never entirely peaceful, but the atmosphere definitely improves.

Then there is the cultural difference that has to do with age. I wince at this one more than I care to admit. Twenty-somethings often seem brash and rude to me when it's just the way they talk. Most of them are really kind and decent people. But they've grown up with a casual approach that finds the manners we were taught to be artificial and affected. So, we think they're rude and crude and they think we're hoity-toity and prissy. But deep down, we have more in common than it initially appears.

Many people do put "Vent" in the title of a vent thread. Or they put it in that first post. The reason people come here to blow off steam is that it's so much easier when you don't have to explain everything about health care the way you would to friends or family members.

I do hope you'll consider sticking around. Your experience gives you much to say. Maybe take us in small doses until you reach a comfort level.

Have you tried the Nurses with Disabilities Forum? If not, you might want to give it a go. In that forum, you will find all kinds of nurses who have been over the river and through the woods with a variety of health and workplace issues. This crowd is not so likely to come off as crude or brash. They are wonderful people who have struggled with finding a comfort zone in their new normal. And talk about wisdom! I would venture to say the folks in this forum are some of AN's finest.

While I think of it, someone asked, "Who peed in her cornflakes?" The first time I heard that I was a little taken aback, but now I just see it for what it is--colorful shorthand for "What has you so upset?" No offense intended. Just an attempt to be humorous.

I don't know the nature of your disability, but I have been laid up for the past six weeks and have at least another month to go. It's been a challenge to find the balance between pushing myself and resting, one that I haven't always called correctly. Some days I'm not up to jumping into the fray and prefer to keep to the edges where the pace is a little slower and gentler. Other times, I'm more adventurous. A lot depends on how I feel physically.

I'm sorry you haven't had a good time here. I hope you'll stick around for a little while longer and possibly find your footing and places where you feel safe.

Please, PM me any time you have a question or a problem. That's what I'm here for.

eriksoln, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2011

I've also noticed cycles that defy explanation. Full moon? Barometric pressure? Or lately, maybe it's the heat. I can't say for sure. I only know that when this happens, we in the staff forums notice many more reported threads and have to put out more fires than usual. But then things will settle down for a while. It's never entirely peaceful, but the atmosphere definitely improves.

Lack of Budweiser? Lack of Southern Comfort?

rn/writer, RN · Jul 23, 2011

Lack of Budweiser? Lack of Southern Comfort?

Or too much of same?

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jul 23, 2011

have closed this thread since you voiced wanting to leave thread.

don't want to have email reponse to bulletin board posts? upon signing up chose "no notification" setting under automatic thread subscription mode---can be corrected under myaccount tab section. i changed your setting to not receive notices. :)

gee with 164 posts in just 10 days, seems like you've found an outlet to talk to other nurses and share frustations/advice. if you really want to close account or discuss further, please feel free to bring your concerns to our admin help desk. we accept the fact that not everyone finds our site meets their needs.

since your new to the internet, might need to visit just a little to get your feet wet and look at news, sucess stoies in nursing, specialy area or humor to find a different vibe here,