Disabled seems to have some new meaning!

monkeyhq · Sep 4, 2014

Wow.
I do want to offer my apologies to those I most likely offended....seems I stepped in it here. My own experiences have colored how I view "the big picture"; I personally HAVE seen abuses that would make you (collective "you") cringe. It might just be a small percentage who demonstrate this abuse of the system, but it's likely the most visible sector, so.....errors and broad brush strokes are made.
Again, my apologies. It's a tough topic to discuss no matter what position you take, I think.

Thank you! I admire your ability to accept new knowledge, and grow. Life itself is a learning experience, and we should all be so open to considering new ideas and opinions.

I would add that some people cannot take medication due to other illnesses, other medications, side effects, adverse effects, and cultural/religious reasons.

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As I stated in an earlier post, below are some links to the results of drug testing public assistance recipients.

The MYTH of the drug abusing 'Welfare Queen' is DOA. Drug abuse for those receiving assistance is far LESS than that of the general population, and it is costing a boat load of public money to test this class. The cost of operating the drug testing programs far exceed any savings generated by the cancellation of benefits (which also makes children suffer for the sin of a parent).

States continue to pass laws in this regard anyway, even though it has been proven time and again that the myth of rampant drug abuse among PA recipients is untrue. The only purpose to test applicants, at this point, is to provide them with another level of shame. As if the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are not enough.

Taxpayers who pushed the issue of drug testing will have no right to complain if and when benefits are denied to them because funds run dry. And they certainly will have no right to complain if taxes are increased to cover the expense of testing.

My question would be: Do you want to pay more money for your self-righteous attitude, or are you okay with admitting you are wrong, and stop perpetuating stereotypes?

The same theory applies to disability. You assume you know, but you don't know. A little less judgment, and little more humility, goes a long way toward helping lift people up instead of tearing them down.

SALON ARTICLE

TENNESSEE WELFARE DRUG TESTING

MINNESOTA DRUG TESTING

DRUG TESTING WELFARE RECIPIENTS INEFFECTIVE AND COSTLY

NEW YORK TIMES - NO SAVINGS FOUND

MYTH OF WELFARE AND DRUG USE

TIME MAGAZINE - WELFARE DRUG TESTING

GOVERNMENT DRUG TESTING - WASTE OF MONEY

ETA note: 'You' is not directed to any specific person and is used only in a general context.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Sep 4, 2014

There but for the Grace of God go I.........
I had a friend post on FB showing a person in a wheelchair stand to get something off of a shelf and made a comment about "being disabled....yeah right...just lazy. " I reminded her that I too use and electric chair even though I can stand and walk about 2 feet before I fall. That I too can get out briefly to get something off of a shelf. I too have a coach purse, two of then actually, that I bought before I was struck with this hellish disease that has robbed me, and my family, of their Mommy and wife. I lived within my means...we have a nice house. I have nice things....before I became ill. I had a more than a year of living expenses saved....I had a decent 401K.... all gone now.
Now everyday is a struggle. There are days I can't comb my hair or brush my teeth because I can't use my arms that well or raise them enough to brush my hair. To see me I'm a fat lazy slob....I have Cushings from meds. I have had complete strangers walk up to me and suggest that I needed to get out of the wheelchair and exercise...or to get a job. My children have seen the ugly side of humanity and it outrages them.
SO before you judge someone remember....
There but for the Grace of God go I.........

Esme, I too live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, I drive a nice car. Drove my old one into the ground and I had to buy a new one this year. My house is paid for, my car is paid for. My ex husband paid off the house before I even applied for disability and I paid cash for my car with the divorce settlement money. I didn't want any payments and my ex husband also destroyed my credit by refusing to pay for my medical bills. I didn't know he didn't pay them. He told me if he had, he would be broke. So I am slowly paying them back now. They provided services for me and saved my life on several occasions so I feel it is my duty to make sure they are paid. But I have to budget everything because I have to live for the next 2-2 1/2 years on the settlement and my disability. Owning a home is not cheap. Neither is going to nursing school. My ex only pays me child support when he has to. So it could be several months before I see my money and I have my son most of the time. I work closely with a financial counselor who is helping me get back on my feet and helping me to budget because I wasn't allowed to pay bills or have money. Women just aren't good at that stuff is what I was told. I wish people would think before they post.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 4, 2014

This reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago. I was out shopping and as I was getting out of my car I saw a police officer walking towards me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I was parked in a handicapped spot and had a placard hanging from my mirror. The officer asks me if I am using "grandma or grandpa's" placard so I could park there.
I thought "I wish", but told him no and gave a brief explantion. I was only in my late 20's and completely normal appearing, so no one could tell just by looking at me that I suffered from cardiomyopathy and CHF (long story...idiopathic/pregnancy related), became very SOB when walking longer distances and had an EF % lower than most 70 year olds. I was embarrassed to use the placard and spots because I was aware that people assumed I was just being ignorant for taking a spot that some 85 year old with a cane or wheelchair bound child might need.
Looks can be deceiving. Thankfully, I have fully recovered and no longer have any symptoms. However, I will never forget the feelings associated with being SOB...panic, fear and downright terror when you get to the point of needing intubated. Wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Our health is precious, although like many things in life, we don't miss it until it's threatened or gone completely. I'll take my health and ability to breathe easily over a shiny placard and close parking spot any day.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but glad you're recovered.

I've had similar "OMG" moments using my temporary disability placard. I'm young-looking for my age, or so I'm told. My knees were in such bad shape I could barely walk, and I had just pulled into a disabled parking place on the street right in front of a popular restaurant. The valet parker or bouncer or whatever he was came to tell me I couldn't park there; is was for "old people only." I got out of the car anyway, and he must have thought I was faking my difficulty in walking . . . he continued to tell me I couldn't park there and said he was going to call the police. I was so embarrassed I wanted to disappear!

I've had similar moments in the women's restroom. Mothers with small children often use the handicapped stall because it's bigger, and I get that. I needed to use it both because the toilet was higher and because of the hand rails. I came out of the stall one time and a woman with two small children snarled at me "I've been WAITING. What's YOUR disability?" I'd heard the heavy sighs while I was finishing up in the stall and had an answer ready. "Bilateral knee replacements and cancer," I said. "What's yours?" The look on her face was priceless. There were two empty regular stalls, and she stepped into one with both children and slammed the door. She didn't apologize, but the look was priceless!

duskyjewel · Sep 5, 2014

Honestly....regardless of what I may think, I know better than to ever act like that toward someone, because I don't know, and I know I don't know.

Discussing concepts here is one thing. Acting like a heartless d'bag face to face is totally different.

ICURN3020 · Sep 5, 2014

Thank you Ruby Vee....very kind of you. I hope you are also doing better. Take care.

LilgirlRN, ADN, RN · Sep 5, 2014

I live in Alabama. This was a couple of years ago. A patient on disability using her smart phone to look for some where new to live. At the time, me, a gainfully employed person did NOT have a smart phone. She starts showing me pictures, the homes were beautiful. She then tells me she is moving to Atlanta where they know how to treat people on assistance. I asked what she meant. She says, well I'm on disability because of my learning disability. I get food stamps too and a housing stipend. I get a free phone. I get assistance with my power bill. But in Atlanta they pay more money for all of those things and many of the houses are new. The pictures she had been showing me were much better than any home that I could've afforded. Why work or even try when you can get it all for free. If you can read ads online for homes and can figure out how much you can or cannot spend for your housing then I think that qualifies you for some sort of job even if you're "labeled" learning disabled.

APRN., DNP, RN, APRN, NP · Sep 5, 2014

I am amazed at how many young, seemingly healthy 20somethings come in with medicare for insurance, since they have SSDI-completely disabled. From what I've seen with my friends and family, getting approved for disability is about as likely as winning the lottery on the way to pick up your Nobel Prize. Any tips? My bones are killing me. I can barely walk to my car after a 12hr shift. My personal med list is longer than any patient I've taken care of in the last year. What is the magic that gets these people approved? I'm not criticizing them, I'm envious. At the rate I'm going, my only hope it to end up in a permanently vegetative state long enough to draw my pension. Even then, I bet the government will declare my decomposing as proof that I am capability of gainful employment-as a flower pot.

Why don't you ask who THEIR Physician is.......*hint* *hint* *hint*

monkeyhq · Sep 5, 2014

I live in Alabama. This was a couple of years ago. A patient on disability using her smart phone to look for some where new to live. At the time, me, a gainfully employed person did NOT have a smart phone. She starts showing me pictures, the homes were beautiful. She then tells me she is moving to Atlanta where they know how to treat people on assistance. I asked what she meant. She says, well I'm on disability because of my learning disability. I get food stamps too and a housing stipend. I get a free phone. I get assistance with my power bill. But in Atlanta they pay more money for all of those things and many of the houses are new. The pictures she had been showing me were much better than any home that I could've afforded. Why work or even try when you can get it all for free. If you can read ads online for homes and can figure out how much you can or cannot spend for your housing then I think that qualifies you for some sort of job even if you're "labeled" learning disabled.

I call BS on the free smart phone. You get a flip or flat panel phone on which you can text a max # of text, and a max # of talk minutes. And you only qualify for the program (started in 1984, by the way), if you don't have a home phone. Anything over, you pay for. No internet or web access.

Atlanta pays more because the cost of living is higher, but I highly doubt anyone could afford to live in the Hotlanta super nice houses or newer suburbs on any form of disability or with any type of government assistance.

I am certain that a few minutes with her did not demonstrate the depth of her ability, or inability. You don't even know if she was telling the truth, especially if she has a learning disability.

People are making judgments based on very little, if any, concrete information.

And at this point, this pervasive judgmental nature is so disappointing and depressing that it is making me sick to my stomach. :grumpy:

Goodnight. I hope we can all learn to love one another, and stop shooting down those who are downtrodden.

applewhitern, BSN, RN · Sep 5, 2014

It is hard for me to read anything about disability, because it makes me so depressed. My son, who died of cancer, was already stage 4, meaning cancer had spread to other organs, by the time he was diagnosed. (He was misdiagnosed by several physicians, but that is another story.) He applied for disability, and was denied. Cancer in his liver and both lungs, and he was DENIED disability. It took 2 years to finally get it. He was only 21, so he didn't have much of a work history, he was in college when he was diagnosed. His check was $611 per month. To make matters worse, he was denied food stamps, denied Medicaid twice. He died without ever getting Medicaid. I had to quit work altogether towards the end, because he was completely disabled. I go to the grocery store or WalMart and see people buying 300 bucks worth of groceries, getting into their expensive, new car, and wonder just how they did it. I don't really resent other people getting help, I simply don't understand why help wasn't there for my child. We had to pay a full 2 years premiums to Blue Cross before he finally got Medicare. (Blue Cross did not pay out of our own state, either, so we ended up with a $43,000 hospital bill at MD Anderson in Houston.) We still owed $27,000 to our local cancer center when he died. Neither Medicare nor Blue Cross paid for all of his cancer drugs; many things we had to pay out of pocket for.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Sep 5, 2014

It is hard for me to read anything about disability, because it makes me so depressed. My son, who died of cancer, was already stage 4, meaning cancer had spread to other organs, by the time he was diagnosed. (He was misdiagnosed by several physicians, but that is another story.) He applied for disability, and was denied. Cancer in his liver and both lungs, and he was DENIED disability. It took 2 years to finally get it. He was only 21, so he didn't have much of a work history, he was in college when he was diagnosed. His check was $611 per month. To make matters worse, he was denied food stamps, denied Medicaid twice. He died without ever getting Medicaid. I had to quit work altogether towards the end, because he was completely disabled. I go to the grocery store or WalMart and see people buying 300 bucks worth of groceries, getting into their expensive, new car, and wonder just how they did it. I don't really resent other people getting help, I simply don't understand why help wasn't there for my child. We had to pay a full 2 years premiums to Blue Cross before he finally got Medicare. (Blue Cross did not pay out of our own state, either, so we ended up with a $43,000 hospital bill at MD Anderson in Houston.) We still owed $27,000 to our local cancer center when he died. Neither Medicare nor Blue Cross paid for all of his cancer drugs; many things we had to pay out of pocket for.

((HUGS)) I am so sorry for your loss.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Sep 5, 2014

Honestly....regardless of what I may think, I know better than to ever act like that toward someone, because I don't know, and I know I don't know.
Discussing concepts here is one thing. Acting like a heartless d'bag face to face is totally different.

You do realize that none of these posts are referring to you...right? ((HUGS))

duskyjewel · Sep 5, 2014

You do realize that none of these posts are referring to you...right? ((HUGS))

Oh yeah, I know. I just couldn't believe the story in the bathroom with the mother. We all have our opinions and thoughts on these things, and here a topic was posed and we're all discussing it, which is the purpose of the board. But face to face with real people, my opinion doesn't matter, and since I know whatever thought I have could be wrong, my obligation is to take people at face value and treat them politely and considerately. It's also my job to teach my children that. Whatever might be in my cynical, black little heart doesn't trump manners, and should stay in private conversations or anonymous, topical message board discussions.