Dilemma in getting a new job where spouse's ex works

Nurses Professionalism

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I am applying for my first RN job after being an LPN for several years and about a decade working in healthcare. My city is pretty much divided into 2 major health systems that own almost every hospital and practice within 50 miles. My dilemma is that my fiance's ex wife is a well known doctor for the major health system I want to work in and I am not worried about obtaining a job because I have a solid resume but I am worried that if she were to find out I was working on a unit that would be regularly interact with the ED where she works or if I were to work in the ED or peds ED if she would try to get me fired for these personal reasons. Anyone ever have a similar situation.

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Specializes in Mental health, substance abuse, geriatrics, PCU.

If the hospital is large you'll be just one fish in the sea. If you are working on a different unit than she, then she may never even know you work there. Even if she were to act on some vendetta to get you fired she probably would not be successful. Physicians don't sign our paychecks, we don't work for them, we work for the hospital.

That being said if she works in the ED and there are such hard feelings between you two, then I wouldn't apply there.

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^ Ditto.

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Yeah, I think my main concern would be that we have a lot of mutual acquaintances from when I used to work in another ED where she worked and I also worked in EMS so naturally.. I'm sure information would travel as it seems to do in that department. Also with her position because she seems to go to several units between adults and pediatrics it would really narrow down my selection and honestly its not even my beef and I don't want to be limiting my career over someone else's drama and hard feelings. I would have no issues because I hold nothing against her obviously. My fiance is the one who has insisted it will be a bad decision and I shouldn't work there because he thinks she will block my employment there or make any effort to put me under a magnifying glass to attempt to get me fired... which is the only reason I even considered it as being a possible issue.

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5 hours ago, ALM5692 said:

My fiance is the one who has insisted it will be a bad decision and I shouldn't work there because he thinks she will block my employment there or make any effort to put me under a magnifying glass to attempt to get me fired...

Seems like he thinks this is quite a bit of a mess.

Otherwise, plenty of people get divorced and if they are reasonable they understand that their exes may eventually have new partners. Unless someone is rather unstable, a professional may be more likely to try not to engage in a war where they, too, could get burned rather badly. This woman has a license, a job and a professional ethical standard just as you do--and is not immune to consequences from inappropriate behavior.

I will say that if there is more to this story then it might just be best to work in the other healthcare system. I certainly wouldn't think additional life drama would be worth it. There's no healthcare system that is worth that.

 

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Make it easier on yourself, apply to the other system.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I would stay far away.

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So I have spent time thinking about this...Unfortunately with the difference in benefits and pay rate as well as the overall better work environment of this one health system it really doesn't seem worth working elsewhere to avoid someone who works on the other side of the building and that I would probably never/almost never come into contact with at work. I have worked for the other health system.. for 5 years and honestly that health system was a far more hostile work environment on a larger scale. Im a big believer in professionalism and patient care and I feel like if I can just live and breathe those values as I have always done, there really won't be much reason to worry about it.

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Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

If you should come across her, can you not just do your job and be professional and hope she does the same? Are you sure she's bitter about the break up and would have acrimonious feelings towards you? Maybe she's moved on and wouldn't care who you are? Maybe she's as professional as you are? Despite the circumstances, you might find she's actually a nice person. Your partner obviously thought so once.

As somebody said, maybe avoid the ER, and in a big facility, how likely are you to come across her and what influence could she possibly have on your employment status? Do what's best for your career. I think these worries belong in a doctor/nurse paperback romance.

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Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

I have just noticed how old this thread is. What did you do and did it work out?

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