Difficult Time/Stupid Mistakes

[caribqueen12]

I am about to hit my 1 yr anniversary and in actuality, I feel worst now than when I started. My confidence level is in the toilet and I really wonder why the heck I should continue working as a floor nurse. I love nursing more than I ever could have thought--it's a decent job and it's great when your patients get well and leave the hospital. However, sometimes, I go home agonizing over the day's events and wondering what did I miss and the potential outcome. I am currently enrolled in school to complete my Master's and this is also very taxing coupled with working on a demanding Telemetry/Med-Surg unit.

In the past few weeks, I feel so incompetent, especially as I am getting back those QC letters in regards to things I omitted during my first few months of training. I will admit, I am timid about giving blood and this has been one problem area for me---I don't believe it was necessarily my fault but my charting stinks so I had to take the fall for delaying blood component for a pt needing it prior to surgery (night nurse completely ignored the order and only 1 u of 3 were given=delay in care)

There are other instances of stupid mistakes that I know are silly and in hindsight I can't understand how I've missed them but I did and unfortunately we cannot go back in time. Many days I feel overwhelmed even now that our patient ration has decreased (our techs are now spread thin). I feel awful about it and worry whether my superiors are considering letting me go. I think they all agree that I am a compassionate nurse with the potential to be great but hospitals can't afford stupid errors.

I am partly worried because I have been pulled aside by my supervisors and Nurse Managers for issues and because I have requested to reduce to part-time a few weeks now and despite asking my supervisor, no one has said anything. I have never been so worried or concerned in my life.

Please provide some advice:

[mamamerlee, LPN]

I think you are taking too many things to heart, and are bashing yourself in the head for things that anyone may have done. You say you have been 'pulled aside' for issues. Do you mean in the hallway? Is it just a heads' up?

Have you actually been written up for any issues?

Are you requesting the drop in hours for personal reasons, or because you are in school? Or did someone at the job suggest it?

Your 'confidence level' is low because you now know how little we all knew when we were green! Stop knawing at your own limbs - you are not in a bear trap. It will get better, and you are already a better nurse than you could have imagined.

It is because you care about your work that you are suffering. Take a deep breath, let it out sllloooowww. Tomorrow is a new day. Try to talk to your mentor/preceptor.

Best wishes!

[Nurse Gina]

I am also a new nurse with just 16 months experiences. Thre is always something we go home with on our minds , wondering "what else cud I have done". I know the feeling. However nursing care is continuous. But you must make sure to prioritize your work. For example, the blood was essential and if you feel nervous about something find a colleague or the ward supervisor to ask. I always ask if I need help, don't feel bad to do so. You are not expected to know everything. I'm sure they will be more than happy to help you, as you are still new to the profession. I often have feelings liek this but don't let it cause you to decrease work. Press on.

[caribqueen12]

Thanks for your responses and part of my problem is priortizing---I get so focused on leaving on time, doing everything that is ordered that it seems nearly impossible in just 12 hours. I have been pulled aside but not written up (at least I haven't been informed if they have done so). I also believe that I create extra work for myself by trying to be too honest and yet not following up. I'm realizing don't stick your neck out if you can't support it.

I will let you all know how things turn out.

I come to this site for support and relief, nursing is so stressful. I need a good vacay and some sleep.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

I have been in this profession for a very long time and recently came back after 4 yrs. I almost feel like a new grad as so many things have changed! The first month back I made a med error (nothing harmful, thankfully!) and I kicked myself to the curb and back, so I know how you feel.

Anyway, you are human and are bound to make mistakes. Every nurse on that floor has felt the way you do now. They have made mistakes and aren't skilled at every little procedure.

Be kind to yourself and like the other post said, take a deeeep breath. Things will get better! (((hugs!)))

[Vito Andolini]

I have often felt that I left something out. I just take a moment and think back over each patient and try to see if I did forget something or not. There is always the phone, too. You can always call back if you do remember something important.

Do not take the fall when it wasn't totally your fault. Let it be known that the order was written many hours before you got there, whatever. Own up to only the mistakes that are truly yours. And remember: the less said, the better. No big mea culpa scenes or gushing to a confessor. A quiet, even silent acknowledging nod of the head, a simple, "Yes, Ma'am" will suffice.

You sound pretty normal to me. Conscientious. Go in peace and be well. Keep doing what you're doing, it all takes time. Kids don't grow up overnight. Great nurses don't either.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Think of how far you have come. You are able to recognize the things you missed when you were much newer. That shows growth and improvement. Nursing is no cakewalk. Hang in there!

[caribqueen12]

Thanks everyone, I think my best option is to reduce my hours so that I can be more focused and not beat on myself. It's just that you can feel so great one week and the next week, you can feel like a total idiot.

[husker_rn, RN]

Everyone before gave great advice. I just want to add one thing...I've been at this a few years and STILL camnnot walk on water. I still miss things and go home feeling like I didn't do my best. It's normal to feel that way; I would worry if you didn't. Just don't fixate; do your best and keep going.

[Orca, ADN, ASN, RN]

Nobody comes into the profession knowing everything, or being good at everything. No matter how hard you try there will be things that you miss. No matter how competent you are you will have bad days, and days when it seems that you can't get anything right and your experience deserts you. This means one thing: You're human.

Be honest about your shortcomings (this means not being too rough on yourself as well as not being too easy). Congratulate yourself for the things you do well. Focus on the things you know that you need to work on and address them. Nursing is like any other profession. You build on what you know, one thing at a time. I don't even resemble the nurse I was when I graduated nursing school, and with experience neither will you.

Best of luck to you.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Thanks everyone, I think my best option is to reduce my hours so that I can be more focused and not beat on myself. It's just that you can feel so great one week and the next week, you can feel like a total idiot.

Are you sure this isn't avoidance behavior?

[caribqueen12]

No, I am overwhelmed by school-work-and home, I am not balancing it well.