Difficult situations

Altra, BSN, RN · Oct 28, 2013

I've never met an ER nurse or medic who didn't have a small handful of patients permanently seared into their memories. And it's generally not, as you said, the most gruesome wounds or the most life-threatening situations ... but the ones with raw human emotion attached to their stories.

Take care of yourself. ((hugs))

Medic2RN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Oct 30, 2013

I agree with Altra's comment. For me, it has been the simple passage of time. The thoughts and your emotional response fades although the memory will stay with you forever. Whatever you do to relieve stress, do it. ((hugs)) to you also.

Editorial Team / Moderator · Oct 30, 2013

If you find this permeating your thoughts, talk to someone - critical incident stress management personnel, chaplain, a mentor, someone. You don't have to deal with these things alone, nor should you.

TrevyRN, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2013

I've never met an ER nurse or medic who didn't have a small handful of patients permanently seared into their memories. And it's generally not, as you said, the most gruesome wounds or the most life-threatening situations ... but the ones with raw human emotion attached to their stories.
Take care of yourself. ((hugs))

One that has stuck with me for years was a family that was going to go to disneyland and their Mother (in her 30's) had an asthma attack - they brought her into our ER in full arrest and we worked on her for 40 minutes. Her dad (elderly man) watched the last 10 minutes or so of CPR. He was silent, sad, and unusually accepting of the situation. I cleaned her up after the doc called it and had to show the body to the jr high aged daughter so she could say goodbye. I'm still bothered by her screaming and crying to this day.

The emotions lessen over time, but Medic is right that the memories aren't going anywhere.

It's lame, but sharing your feelings and (like Medic2RN says) engage in your usual effective (and hopefully healthy) coping mechanisms. Pet your dog, watch a dumb movie, go out with friends, get a chocolate cake, play video games, run a few miles, whatever... just be sure to do it!

Sometimes when I get rude patients, sad situations, or stressful things happen, I try to remember and focus on the stories and patients that were kind of silly or made me laugh. I love going to that thread with the dumb things people come into the ER with.

Good luck and thanks for sharing, Runner

Larry77, RN · Oct 30, 2013

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about how terrible the tragedy was for the victims that come to us and almost guilty for my own happiness but one time my wife gave me the best advice I've ever heard. She said, "Besides thinking about the hardship of the families, also think about how much your kindness and compassion was a blessing to them." She asked me one time what it was like to be the one person that had the final conversation with someone who has passed..."Ugh, I never thought of it that way" was my response. The next bunch of times I was in this type of situation I was very conscious to make every word and every second count. We are so lucky to be involved with strangers in such an important time in their life that THEY will remember forever as well as us.

I agree that talking about your emotions is very important but so are healthy habits like working out, having fun, and spending time with that little extra hug to our loved ones...try not to turn to ETOH like so many do :-)

Hugs,

Larry

bebbercorn · Oct 30, 2013

Agree with all of the above. You did the best you could and what you were supposed to do by remaining with the patient. We can't always leave our work at work. Some of them get to you. Sending you a big hug.

Sassy5d · Oct 31, 2013

We are humans and although some might not believe it, we have hearts.

I may not remember names but situations will always be in the back of my mind. What you went through was traumatic for the pt and you. It sounds like you handled it well.. But def allow yourself to let it out.

Me.. I always struggle a bit with my young heroin od's that don't make it. I think that drug is such a tragedy and there's little I hate more than bringing mom back and showing her child.

Runner1989 · Oct 31, 2013

Thank you everyone for the hugs, advice and just listening. It's nice to know others understand because you've been in similar situations that have got to you. There were many questions raised the night about our FNE coverage and process as well that hopefully we will have positive changes from.

At the end when she was able to speak to us she looked me in the eye and gave me the most heart felt, sincere "thank you." That is why we do what we do. To make people feel better in their worst moment. Thanks for all you guys do, be safe out there and know that from one ED to another, we are thinking about ya!