Oh man, I'm thinking I made a big mistake by going into nursing....let me explain. I've been working nights on a cardiac/tele unit now for 6 months. The staff that I work with is absolutely wonderful...we only get up to 5 patients...and I enjoy the patient population that we receive. So, I should really like my job right? Well, I don't. I feel really comfortable in my role as a nurse....it's not that I don't feel confident in my abilities or anything like that. I think it has more to do with the schedule. Nights has been really crappy to get used to. My husband works a Monday-Friday, 8-4 job. By the time he gets home, I am just getting up and it's all I can do to get dinner, get ready, and get to work on time. So basically we hardly ever get to see each other because I'm home sleeping all day when he's gone and he's home all night while I'm at work. Plus, we miss out on a lot of weekends together because I'm working every other weekend.
I guess I knew this was coming when I started working nights, but I never imagined it would be this hard. Some nights I just start crying on the way to work....I really don't know why, maybe it's just that I don't want to go and I want to spend time with my husband. I find myself wishing that I didn't have to go to work, and that is totally unlike me. I'm usually a very positive person but I just feel like my job is bringing me down. Aside from quitting, there is really nothing that I can do...my manager has already told me not to even include the word "days" in my vocabulary for a "long time." There are people on my unit that have been trying to get to dayshift for 3 years, and I KNOW that I won't be one of those people....3 years of this would send me to the psych ward!
Well thanks for letting me vent....if anyone has any ideas of areas outside the hospital setting that I could work (with normal hours) feel free to suggest! At this point I will do ANYTHING...lol....well within reason. I even considered becoming a pharmaceutical rep, but I don't know if that would be any better. OK...I'm done now. Sorry about the long post! :)
Life is way to short to be miserable!! It sounds as if your marriage is very important to you, so treat it that way. Find another job. As for the previous post about the extra money you make working nights-so what. Money helps, but it does not make you completely happy. I live comfortably and would not trade the time I spend during each week with my husband and children for anything. I know nusing will always be there, but one of them may not. Do what your heart is telling you to and make a change. Best of luck! :)
I completely agree about the money issue. All the money in the world isn't worth sacrificing time with my family. So, yes I am looking for a new job. It's going to be difficult, because there isn't as drastic of a nursing shortage here as in other areas, but I'm going to keep with it. Thanks to everyone for your posts....your advice & support is much appreciated!
Life is way to short to be miserable!! It sounds as if your marriage is very important to you, so treat it that way. Find another job. As for the previous post about the extra money you make working nights-so what. Money helps, but it does not make you completely happy. I live comfortably and would not trade the time I spend during each week with my husband and children for anything. I know nusing will always be there, but one of them may not. Do what your heart is telling you to and make a change. Best of luck! :)
I just wanted to point out that my marriage means very much to me as well. Just because I choose to work nights doesn't mean that my husband and family are not important to me! I just mentioned the money because it is a nice benefit of working nights. It sounds like others are saying that the only way to have a happy family is to work day shift.
We all knew going into nursing that we probably wouldn't be working M-F 9-5 like the rest of the world. So why is it always such a surprise to people when they start working?
As far as having little ones in the home - you actually spend more time with them if you work 3 12's and are home four whole days a week, than if you worked M-F 9-5 and only had evenings and weekends with them. Nurses work all kinds of shift, and if those happen to be 12-hour or off-shifts, it doesn't have to mean that they never see their families.
I am probably overreacting. I just don't think it's a death sentance for a marriage and family to have to work night shift. You just have to get used to it is all.
Of course, I have a day shift coworker whose husband can't possibly sleep alone in the bed without her. I think if my husband was that clingy I'd scream!!!!
I feel much the same way the OP does....I truly don't get much time with my husband. Here is my scenario:
My H works 12 hour shifts as well at a prison. He is gone from 6am until 7:30pm Sun-Tues and every other Wednesday. Because he has full custody of his children, I must be home those days. I work 12 hour nights, Thurs-Sat and have to leave the house no later than 6pm and return home around 8:30am the next day. The children are gone at their mother's house every other Wed-Sun. The children and I get to see him for a few hours several days a week. When he's not working, I'm am and I sleep from around 9am until 4pm, then it's up and getting ready for work.
We have no real family days together and I feel like a single mother for those 3 days a week when he's at work and I'm home with the kids. Then, he's alone for several days a week when the kids are at their mom's. We are currently trying to get the visitation days changed to where the children go see their mother every Sat-Tues, which would allow me to work those days (which happen to be my H's days of work as well) and then all of us would be home together on our days off.
It's been frustrating....I sometimes feel like crying when I have to leave for work, knowing that my H will be home alone. We never get much quality time with each other. That's the only real hard part about my job. I'm actually thinking of taking a position in his prison a few years from now. I would receive the same pay I do now, great benefits, a pension, and be working 7-3 days. But I still have some experience to accrue before heading off to be a correctional nurse, so for now, we are working with what we have.
My family is so important to me and that's why the above craziness has been getting to me. I've been the children's custodial stepmother since they were 1 1/2 and 4 (they are now 6 and 9) so not being able to be home together as a family is driving me up the wall. I hate not being able to do anything together. Time will tell how things will work out....for the time being, we are just taking it one day at a time.
Oh man, I'm thinking I made a big mistake by going into nursing....let me explain. I've been working nights on a cardiac/tele unit now for 6 months. The staff that I work with is absolutely wonderful...we only get up to 5 patients...and I enjoy the patient population that we receive. So, I should really like my job right? Well, I don't. I feel really comfortable in my role as a nurse....it's not that I don't feel confident in my abilities or anything like that. I think it has more to do with the schedule. Nights has been really crappy to get used to. My husband works a Monday-Friday, 8-4 job. By the time he gets home, I am just getting up and it's all I can do to get dinner, get ready, and get to work on time. So basically we hardly ever get to see each other because I'm home sleeping all day when he's gone and he's home all night while I'm at work. Plus, we miss out on a lot of weekends together because I'm working every other weekend.
I guess I knew this was coming when I started working nights, but I never imagined it would be this hard. Some nights I just start crying on the way to work....I really don't know why, maybe it's just that I don't want to go and I want to spend time with my husband. I find myself wishing that I didn't have to go to work, and that is totally unlike me. I'm usually a very positive person but I just feel like my job is bringing me down. Aside from quitting, there is really nothing that I can do...my manager has already told me not to even include the word "days" in my vocabulary for a "long time." There are people on my unit that have been trying to get to dayshift for 3 years, and I KNOW that I won't be one of those people....3 years of this would send me to the psych ward!
Well thanks for letting me vent....if anyone has any ideas of areas outside the hospital setting that I could work (with normal hours) feel free to suggest! At this point I will do ANYTHING...lol....well within reason. I even considered becoming a pharmaceutical rep, but I don't know if that would be any better. OK...I'm done now. Sorry about the long post! :)
Personally, I would find another job. If you're not happy, you're going to just wear yourself out. Everyone needs nurses, so just start "quietly" searching. There is no reason to make yourself miserable, and your husband miserable. No job is worth being unhappy.
Some people have a hard time working nights. Some have almost been in car accidents, felt physically ill and their marriage suffers. Nursing is stressful. It usually takes a full year before a newer nurse feels comfortable on a new unit. Mixed with fighting circadian rythems, it is understandable to want to switch. Try 12 hour shifts (as someone suggested). I would try to stay for one full year before making a change. It looks better on your resume and maybe at that point you could go per diem or part time there(keeping seniority) and work perdiem at another facility or VNA. I work 12 hour nights. I try to schedule days together. If I am working f/s/s I will take a nap for 2-3 hours on friday. I try to take a nap after 1pm. I make sleep a priority. Supper on the nights that I work is either done by my kids or husband or is whatever is quick. Nights work for me because I can sleep during the day and I only work 24 hours. I occasionally pick up more, but untill my daughter has her license I need to be available. It sounds like you are in a new marriage, mine is 16 years old and some apart time is good.
I can SOOOO relate to what you were going thru. I am a new grad working 3-11 shift 5 days a week and absolutely hate it. It is the shift and now i don't know if I want to work in a hospital, As a matter a fact I know I don't want to work in a hospital. Is there a way to work as a nurse (which I love) but have a normal life. I would love to work in a doctor's office I feel bad because I have only been a new nurse for three months, but I feel miserable. I dread going to work and now get headaches thinking about going in everday. Where else can a new grad work. I just don't want to quit my job, but I really hate it. The hospital I work at is a great teaching hospital, but I'm afraid I've messed up because I've called off five times sick. Should I just quit and find another job. Sorry to be so long winded, glad to have a place to bloww off steam.
I worked nocts for 12 years and it almost killed me. I had to because I didn't want my kids in childcare. I wouldn't work a noct shift now for anything. I realize some nurses love nocts and I SALUTE you !!!! I don't know where you live but in most parts of the US it's not that hard to get a day shift in a hospital. You may not at first get the department you want but hey days = sleep which = happiness to me. Good Luck!
In my part of the US it is next to impossible to get a day position. You have to "work your way up" to get a day shift. I've been working 3rd shift since June 05 and they are now asking if I'm interested in days. I have very mixed feelings about it. But, it's what my family wants and it will probably will be better for us in the long run.
I can SOOOO relate to what you were going thru. I am a new grad working 3-11 shift 5 days a week and absolutely hate it. It is the shift and now i don't know if I want to work in a hospital, As a matter a fact I know I don't want to work in a hospital. Is there a way to work as a nurse (which I love) but have a normal life. I would love to work in a doctor's office I feel bad because I have only been a new nurse for three months, but I feel miserable. I dread going to work and now get headaches thinking about going in everday. Where else can a new grad work. I just don't want to quit my job, but I really hate it. The hospital I work at is a great teaching hospital, but I'm afraid I've messed up because I've called off five times sick. Should I just quit and find another job. Sorry to be so long winded, glad to have a place to bloww off steam.
I feel the same way about working in a hospital. I know that it isn't what I want to do for any extended time period....and that really has nothing to do with the hours. I just don't really like having different patients almost every shift I work....I would like to really get to know my patients and be able to follow their progress. I would eventually like to get into community health nursing. That was my favorite rotation in nursing school & it was something that I truly enjoyed (unlike some of the other clinicals). And a great perk to that is normal hours! Good luck!
I could have written your post. I am in the same situation, working nights and hating it. Something's gotta give, I know that...just not sure what yet. I love my job and the hospital I work at and don't want to work on another unit, but I can't go on feeling miserable. What to do? Its a tough call. Let me know what you decide.
Lauren, and newgrad, I just want to add another "you are not alone." I too am finding nights to be hell on my mind and body. As for whether 3 12-hour shifts would help -- that is certainly worth checking out. But that is what I do, and those can be looong shifts. My body *needs* 7-8/24 hrs of sleep and that's almost impossible when you're on 12's and also have family obligations. Often I sleep 24+ hours straight after a 3-night run, which kind of defeats the purpose of working 3 shifts a week.
Also, to Gompers, I have to mention that I find your comments to be very insensitive to those of us who are looking for help and support. Yes, we all knew going into nursing that the hours would not be "regular." Actually, I was attracted to night shift -- I am not a "morning person" and looked forward to the change. I'm surprised and very frustrated that it is proving so difficult. I am really happy that your schedule works for you and your family, but we are all different. A few extra dollars per month mean nothing to me compared to getting my physical and mental health back.
Right now, I am struggling with the choice of whether to give up the thing I always wanted to do (critical care) and change to an area that is easier on my body. It is a painful decision to have to make. I wish everyone who's dealing with this the best; let's all keep updated and continue to support each other!
I absolutely hate nights working as a nurse unless its ER. Even then Id mostly prefer days.
Which is funny because over here I fit into night ops very well.
Youve recieved very good advice so I cant really expand on it. Keep your job for now while looking for a job that better suites your needs. After you have a couple three years of experience you have more to bargain with.
Working 3-4 12's a week works well for me and my family.
RNLauren05
5 Posts
I completely agree about the money issue. All the money in the world isn't worth sacrificing time with my family. So, yes I am looking for a new job. It's going to be difficult, because there isn't as drastic of a nursing shortage here as in other areas, but I'm going to keep with it. Thanks to everyone for your posts....your advice & support is much appreciated!