Looking to relocate son with developmental disabilities

Specialties Disabilities

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Good morning all!

My wife and I (ages 54 and 53, respectively) are the parents of a 25 year old man with Autism. Incidentally, my wife, "she who must be obeyed..." is an RN.

We have been doing everything we can to place Sean in an appropriate residential program in New Jersey, but after a failed placement through the NJ Department of Developmental Disabilities and a great deal of anxiety and stress on our parts, we are now considering an alternative strategy in order to secure a happy, healthy, and safe future for Sean.

We have learned from other parents as well as Sean's attorney that Minnesota and Wisconsin are very progressive in the field of developmental disabilities and we are now considering whether or not it is feasible to relocate. We're not "locked in" in terms of Minnesota and/or Wisconsin, and we figured that if anyone was in a position to comment about opportunities elsewhere in the US, a nurse specializing in the field of developmental disabilities would be the person to start with.

Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

Many thanks,

hi, i am new to the site and still trying to work out the quirks..... in answer to your question. Relocating may be a good idea but there are other wonderful facilities in many states. I know it will take some time but going to google and searching each state for DD facilities sounds like a better idea than just going by hear say... good luck to you and your family and may

god bless you for your support and love for your son.

hi, i am new to the site and still trying to work out the quirks..... in answer to your question. Relocating may be a good idea but there are other wonderful facilities in many states. I know it will take some time but going to google and searching each state for DD facilities sounds like a better idea than just going by hear say... good luck to you and your family and may

god bless you for your support and love for your son.

Thanks for your reply Linette.

I'll try the Google search, but what I'm really interested in are first hand opinions regarding programs in other states. Ya know, the problems always been that all the state run Departments of Developmental Disabilities either ignore you or claim they have the very best of everything when in fact they're running under funded and under staffed programs where there is no accountability for anything.

We were involved with what we thought was a good program but within 6 months the people on site - the people who were the determining factor for our decision to sign on with that program, all left the operation. What followed was almost 2 years of sheer torture where the state of NJ totally ignored the growing problems at the group home, which was being run into the ground by a bunch of inner city bottom feeders.

By the way, you may have heard of the NJ Division of Youth and Family Services, a.k.a. "DYFS" ? You know the nightmare where the state places foster children with drug dealers and prostitutes and the children wind up dead or completely lost? Well, The NJ Division of Developmental Disabilities, a.k.a. DDD, is under the auspices of the NJ Department of Human Services which also over sees DYFS. Different name but same mind set, only we were determined not to wake up some morning to learn in the morning paper that our son, had been starved, beaten and raped by some malcontent hired by the state of NJ.

So the search goes on.

Thanks again for your thoughtful reply.

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Am so very sorry for your problems. Have you contacted the local NAMI in your area? National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They are usually a good resource for long term placements. Here in central IL, we have several nursing homes devoted to DD clients. We also have PARC which is the Peoria Association for Retarded Citizens (the name is from long ago). They have a good reputation.

Am so very sorry for your problems. Have you contacted the local NAMI in your area? National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They are usually a good resource for long term placements. Here in central IL, we have several nursing homes devoted to DD clients. We also have PARC which is the Peoria Association for Retarded Citizens (the name is from long ago). They have a good reputation.

Many thanks to TraumaRUS!

I checked into NAMI and will be researching their site this evening. PARC in Peoria may be a bit of a problem, but I shall hang in there!

Hi! Having only a 4yo son with developmental disabilities and autism, I am pretty new to all of this myself. Have you tried the Autism society? I would think maybe national and local chapters of these organizations would have some info for you. Good luck to you all! SG

Specializes in none yet.

Jayhawk,

First of all I wish you good luck in your search for placement, unfortunately Federal and State funding for DD needs is poor at best, pay for direct care workers in terrible and staffing is always an issue, I have worked with Developmentally Delayed children and adults for 15 years and currently work in an inpatient psych unit that works specifically with DD individuals. Your state should have P.A.S.S agencies that specifically advocate for your son. Their job is to find appropriate placement and/or services that he will need. Does your son attend a dayprogram or php program? If he does, there should be a casemanager assigned to him that can assist you in starting that process. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need further help or advice, I have worked in Group homes, ICF's and day training programs. Good luck.

Pepper

I just wanted to wish you luck with finding the right place for Sean. :)

Specializes in Hospice.

We have adopted three special needs children and I can tell you from personal experience that the biggest problem I have found is that a lot of states have waiting lists for state funded placement (the DD waiver programs). We currently live in New Mexico, and have found it wonderful. We currently have a daughter in an assisted living home (used to be called group homes) with a company called Tabosa. They are AWESOME! Very knowlegable and VERY client focused and family friendly! We moved here from Minnesota and found that services there vary greatly from county to county. I worked with a company called Dungarvin. They have homes in various states and found them to be excellent. In fact, we are considering moving back there because I think that is the company I want to work for. I don't believe that California has a waiting list for services, but I could sure be wrong. Best of luck and please feel free to contact me at [email protected] if you'd like any other information.

Cheryl

Jayhawk, Check this facility out in my sig. It's a great place to work and they have all sorts of programs and more on the horizon. They are known worldwide for there aggressive care and programs. And good luck. PM me if you have any questions.

Well Jay Hawk I understand "moms" need for control as moms we have to watch over our kids VERY closely!

I personally have worked in Michigan with folks with dd, and one of our moms who sits on the states board (and has a nonprofit organization to help folks with dd/mi) assures me this is one of the only states she would let her boy live. She also like Mn- my grandmother lived nest to one of the group homes (rem) and the folks I met were very compassionate and the folks seemed happy.

If you are interested I am willing to get more information for you or contact her for you, I also know a few more moms who would give you their opinion as mothers of children(33-62) with dd.

May you find a home where Sean and your wife and yourself are at peace with

Sunny

Specializes in Trauma, Education.

We moved our son from Utah to PA for school and services. He has CHARGE syndrome (deaf/blind, tube fed, autistic tendencies). For services up to the age of 21, we are better off in PA, but once he is an adult, we will head back to Utah. They have some great opportunities for adults w/DD. There is alot to be said for the west!!

rbs105

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