I did it. I made my first MAJOR mistake of my nursing career. I mislabeled lab specimens. JACHO mess-up. And now I'm going to get written up.
I realized it 1 hours after I did it. The unit was a mess. 10 patients, 3 nurses (Yes, ICU). 2 Nurses were on break. 1 patient was actively crashing with a nurse, a fellow and a resident trying desperately to throw a line in, the second nurse was getting an admission, and I was watching the 7 other patients. Between running for the crashing patient's nurse, answering call bells (did I mention the tech was on break and no BA?), and drawing my neighbor's morning blood work, the phone rings for our 5th admission of the night. Blood in hand, I ask them to hold so "I don't mess up my blood." Well, yup, I did it. I mislabeled even though I realized I was about too.
I cried on the spot. I was walking around the unit, checking on everyone's patients, when I realized I mixed the names up. My heart fell. I immediately look up the labs and only the CBC came in. I immediately told the doctors and the primary nurses about the mix up. I filled out an incident report and called the lab to see if the could write a note to ignore or cancel it. And then I went in the back room and cried. I never made a mistake like that before. I cried in anticipation of what would happen; I cried because I heard I was going to get written up.
My manager came in and I asked to speak with her privately. I told her what I did and the steps I took to correct myself. I found out today that I will need to meet with her again...this time with an union rep.
I cried again when I got home; I'm crying now as I type this. I am a good nurse and I know I'm not perfect. I should have been more careful. It just sucks though. When you look at next year's performance evaluation, you are going to see a big fat red marking about how I'm unsafe with patient blood. But you know what you are not going to see? You are not going to see that there were only 3 nurses on the floor. You are not going to see that, when on patient was crashing, I was able to throw in 2 #18s/start Levo/bag the patient/set-up an a-line for my friend. You are not going to see I was watching 4 patients. You are not going to see that a family member came back in and gave me a big hug and try to give me a keychain (because that's all she could afford) thanking me for setting her up with pillows and a blanket in the waiting room. You are not going to see that I eased a patient's mind about surgery for her heart transplant the next day by educating her and showing her pictures. You are also not going to see that the residents were thankful I caught some orders or that I was able to keep my own two patients alive. You definitely won't see my nursing friends thank me for helping nor the hugs I got from the family. No, you will just see "Unsafe." And this kill me.
Maybe I'm being bitter but I see it too much. Nurses who fly under the radar and get a satisfactory score by doing the bare minimum. They don't sit with their patients. They don't "think outside the box" and some take the short cut. Here I am, day after day, being nice to my patient and their family, going the extra mile, and going above and beyond for the good of my patient. I know my limits and won't take on more than I can chew--heck! I asked to take report later because I didn't want to mess up the blood. And I did. It's just so frustrating that when you get written up, you automatically look worse than the person who does nothing therefore has nothing on their eval except black and white. I'm so incredibly devastated that I got myself into this position in the first place.
