Delaying Children until after nursing school.

stpauligirl · Dec 19, 2006

NOOOO!!! Don't say that! I just bought a beagle pup for my children as a surprise for Christmas I pick her up on Friday. Sounds like I'm the one that's going to get the surprise LOL.

There is hope, yours is a girl.....mine is a very stubborn boy beagle :lol2:

Mine was the wiggliest little puppy I ever had, he was like a jello jiggler in my hand. I could share endless funny stories.

Beagles are very sweet dogs, super tolerant of children. and those eyes......and ears......you just can't stay mad at them for more than a few seconds. My beagle puts himself in "time out" when I give him a certain look or yell at him, it's hilarious. :monkeydance:

Good luck with the puppy and I hope you will enjoy her.

stpauligirl · Dec 19, 2006

I see this topic often on these boards. I tend to reply to these type of quotes because I love my children so much and don't believe anyone else loves their children any less than I love mine. What I mean by that is (as mentioned earlier) the guilt of not having that extra moment to cuddle and read books, play outside, go for walks, make paper mache piggy banks, etc etc disturbs me. I am 27 (about to be 28 in a few days) and I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. If I could do it again (ahhhh the redundancy) I would so do it again so I could spend so much more time with them, and have so much more financial means to give them just a little bit more than I am giving them right now.
When you're in school, you go to your classes and you can't just go home and relax and catch up. You have to study and study and do homework and study until the middle of the night just to keep up with the rest of the class. In contrast, when I am done nursing school, I will go to work and come home and have that time to be with the kids. What breaks my heart is that by the time I am done, my oldest will be at an age where she probably won't care to be around me so much and my youngest will not need help with his ABC's and not want to watch Sesame Street and Dora with me anymore and will probably be more interested in some gruesome animated ninja movies that will be hard for me to sit through.
Another time I find excruciatingly painful is when I study my brains out and put 110% into what I am doing and don't do so well on an exam, get a grade I expected to be higher. Those times bother me because I think about how much time I spent away from my kids to study and it didn't pay off. I have had some emotionally painful bouts of sobbing over the disappointment of all that as well.
Can it be done? Yes, I am doing it and so are the other people who have responded. Can it be done better? Yes for myself personally it could have been done better had I waited or had I gone to school first (I believe that equivalates to the same thing for me)
Don't worry about what all your friends and co-workers are doing. For one, when you have children, you discover so many opinions and aspects you once had about life dissapate and you see the world from an entirely different perspective. What I mean by that is that the people you might have once thought were people you click with may not be the people you click with when you have kids (regardless of if they have kids or not) I had a best friend who drifted from me when I had my kids. When she had kids I thought we would get along again and we sure as well did not. Also there will be other friends and coworkers you will meet when you are done that will be having kids---at that time.
One more important thing I want to mention is 30 is the new 20 and I would totally spend as much time as you can having fun with your self and your husband before things start changing and becoming a little more grown up with becoming a nurse and your husband getting out of college school to start a new career soon too.
This is your time to shine and whether you have your babies now or 10 years from now, they will still be your beautiful babies.
Good luck with everything!

Don't beat yourself up, you love your children it's obvious from your post.

It's hard to be a woman, find the right balance and to make it just and right for everybody and everything. It's a very common dilemma, and I could talk about it forever.

Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can.

stpauligirl · Dec 19, 2006

I'm 34 and starting nursing school in January. My husband and I are waiting until after I graduate to start having more children. We have a 15 year old (soon to be 16.. yikes! from my previous relationship) but want more definitely want more children. I think we are actually going to wait until I finish grad school, so I'll probably be 41 or so before we have a baby! I am fine to wait, especially because I am healthy and have no misconceptions about how HARD it is to raise a child.
Best wishes in whatever you decide!

My son was 14 (he was also from a previous relationship) when his brother was born. I was 38, everything was perfectly fine. The baby was very healthy.

LaceyRN · Dec 19, 2006

My son was 14 (he was also from a previous relationship) when his brother was born. I was 38, everything was perfectly fine. The baby was very healthy.

This is great to hear! I know there is a lot of concern about AMA (Advanced maternal age, 35+) these days but I am very healthy and I have faith that if it is in God's plan, we will have more healthy children at any age. I am not naive about the increase in risks, but I also know that staying healthy, exercising and good nutrition throughout a lifetime are good for fertility.

DesertRain · Dec 19, 2006

This is great to hear! I know there is a lot of concern about AMA (Advanced maternal age, 35+) these days but I am very healthy and I have faith that if it is in God's plan, we will have more healthy children at any age. I am not naive about the increase in risks, but I also know that staying healthy, exercising and good nutrition throughout a lifetime are good for fertility.

Just a bit of an FYI to support this, my grandmother was 42 when she started having children. She had 5 within 7 years and lived until she was 97! And that was back in the 40's! As a young child I don't remember her being any older or different as an AMA grandmother!

DesertRain · Dec 19, 2006

Don't beat yourself up, you love your children it's obvious from your post.
It's hard to be a woman, find the right balance and to make it just and right for everybody and everything. It's a very common dilemma, and I could talk about it forever.
Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can.

Thank you, it's always nice to hear words of encouragement!

catzy5 · Dec 20, 2006

There is hope, yours is a girl.....mine is a very stubborn boy beagle
Mine was the wiggliest little puppy I ever had, he was like a jello jiggler in my hand. I could share endless funny stories.
Beagles are very sweet dogs, super tolerant of children. and those eyes......and ears......you just can't stay mad at them for more than a few seconds. My beagle puts himself in "time out" when I give him a certain look or yell at him, it's hilarious. :monkeydance:
Good luck with the puppy and I hope you will enjoy her.

oh but the noise does yours make that howeling noise? I used to think they were so adorable till I met a couple at the dog park that make that noise!

I am just kidding they are cute.

I have a german shepherd he does require more work but its because I want too he his my best friend and escape we are going to start donig obedience trials in the spring. Just one more thing to keep me busy hehehe.

stpauligirl · Dec 20, 2006

oh but the noise does yours make that howeling noise? I used to think they were so adorable till I met a couple at the dog park that make that noise!
I am just kidding they are cute.
I have a german shepherd he does require more work but its because I want too he his my best friend and escape we are going to start donig obedience trials in the spring. Just one more thing to keep me busy hehehe.

Yes, he makes that howling sound when on "the trail" you should see his fur raise up on his back and his puffed up tail when he is on to something. He is a very good hunter.

When his nose hits the ground, his brain shuts off!!!!! He will not listen to his name but snort loudly and howl and persue whatever :lol2:

Definitely get a beagle microchipped, too many get lost while in hunting mode.

Have fun training your dog !

BTW got both dogs groomed for X-Mas today but the beagle is of course rooting around in the back yard already getting dirty again LOL

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Dec 21, 2006

Good heavens - I'm 33, in an accelerated program, married seven years - and I'm not having kids for AT LEAST another three years. I deal with it by realizing I am not dead yet , I was born when my own mother was 39 and both she and I are just fine, my sister had her first kid at 36, and by knowing that what everyone else may or may not be doing just might not be right for me right now - no matter HOW much I can feel my heart sink when I hear so-and-so is pregnant and I find myself a shower attendant AGAIN instead of the honoree. I'll get there - and if I can't at some point, then I wasn't meant to, because the Good Lord has had many many many chances to make an accident happen in seven years!

You have PLEEENNNNTTTTYYYY of time....you can't gauge what you think you should be doing by what everyone else is doing. You are eight years younger than I - I WISH I'd known I wanted to do this eight years ago. I ENVY you the time you have ahead of you - and I'm only THIRTY-THREE years old.

You're fine. You have to just know in your heart that what you're doing is right for the two of you right at this second, and I think you already know that. You are just fine.

HI,
Prenursing student here starting to take my prereq this Jan and I am so happy that I changed my major. I am A also 25 years old and married for 3 years so the itch of having children started happening. My husband and I have decided to wait to have children until after school. Michael (husband) is working on his AS in computer and I of course a AS nursing but it looks like it will be another 4 to 5 years before I am finish. I don't know how to deal with it all of my coworks/friends that are my age are starting to have their families. All this because I so badly want to become a nurse and having children right now will make things a lot more difficult. I am going to wait to have children later but are their people in the same boat as I and how do you deal with it?

catzy5 · Dec 21, 2006

Yes, he makes that howling sound when on "the trail" you should see his fur raise up on his back and his puffed up tail when he is on to something. He is a very good hunter.
When his nose hits the ground, his brain shuts off!!!!! He will not listen to his name but snort loudly and howl and persue whatever
Definitely get a beagle microchipped, too many get lost while in hunting mode.
Have fun training your dog !
BTW got both dogs groomed for X-Mas today but the beagle is of course rooting around in the back yard already getting dirty again LOL

oh ya they are runners I hear ya on that my neighbor has one can't ever take it off leash. My dog follows me everywhere when he gets out front by accident he just sits and waits for me I guess he knows a good thing when he has it. He is a rescue dog so probably remembers his homeless days hehehe.

LOL about the grooming them and getting dirty. my german shepherd is white the 2nd I bath him he is out in the mud. Thankfully his coat is pretty cool that dirt just flakes off, but when we go play he immidietely rolls in the mud and gets black.

stpauligirl · Dec 21, 2006

oh ya they are runners I hear ya on that my neighbor has one can't ever take it off leash. My dog follows me everywhere when he gets out front by accident he just sits and waits for me I guess he knows a good thing when he has it. He is a rescue dog so probably remembers his homeless days hehehe.
LOL about the grooming them and getting dirty. my german shepherd is white the 2nd I bath him he is out in the mud. Thankfully his coat is pretty cool that dirt just flakes off, but when we go play he immidietely rolls in the mud and gets black.

My other dog doesn't run either, he listens pretty well. He just doesn't get along with other furries too well and barks up a storm if he sees other dogs. He wiggled himself out of his collar before and launched an attack on some poor doggie :uhoh3: He gets so excited that he passed out on me twice on a walk, can you imagine ?!?! He is also a rescue and has serious mental issues We keep him in our yard, no more walking.

Speaking of dogs.....they are truly worse than kids....I just cleaned up a beagle pee-pee puddle in my kitchen. It's cold outside and I swear that dog will not call to be let out but rather pee on the floor in bad weather. Once again he is the luckiest dog in teh entire nation that he has such a patient momma.... his cute eyes and long ears saved him once more. I was wondering why he was lalying so quietly in his "time-out" station. LOL

You truly have to love them.......:monkeydance:

para · Jan 3, 2007

I am in the same boat. I have been married 4 years now. I am 26 years old and my husband is 29.We are waiting till I finish school to start our family. We talk about having kids a lot.We both know we do not want to miss out on a family. My husband has had some health problems and now I am trying to get into school. It is not the right time to also get pregnant. We both know this.First we do not want to use child care and second the stress of school, having a baby etc. is not good for anyone. Lucky my husband has a good job with good benefits and we have a home based business as well to pay the bills.But we would like an extra income and savings before we have kids. We just bought a condo last year. So we are making steps to start a family, but it will probably we a few years before we try. In an ideal world I would like to have my first child around 29 and my second and final child a few years later.Good luck and don't worry you are making a good decision to wait.