deciding to put my nursing dream on hold

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

Published

I have so much going on this quarter I feel like it's overtaking my dreams to become a nurse. I'm currently working on my BSN at a Cal State school. I had to take an incomplete in A&P1 and will try to finish off the other two course that I enrolled in. I did this because I can't seem to concentrate on school right now. My mother is in the last stages of her life. She has been living with CHF and her kidney's are working at 12%. The hospital tried dialysis, but she refuses to have any surgery. I also have a problem with my kids father. He was taking care of my two sons while I finish school. Well this week him and his girlfriend get arrested and I have to drive 5 hours to get my children from the CPS office. I have eight children and it has always seemed impossible to just finish one quarter. Now that I have my other two children back it doesn't seem possible that I will be even be able to attend nursing school. So much is happening in my life I want to scream. I ask myself everyday why does this happen to be when I'm so close to getting into a program. I don't work so I can concenrate on my studies and now I can't even study. I might be looking into going into a field that is not as stressful as nursing. I want to make a good salary, but more importantly I want to help people. I really like the medical field, but I don't know what I'm going to do. My family is number one. Does anyone have any advice on other career that might be a good choice. Please let me know. Thank you

Specializes in Med/Surg <1; Epic Certified <1.

I don't have any great words of wisdom except if you think this is truly the career you want, you should try to make this work for you....it CAN be done...if you have older kids, they can pitch in with the younger ones and they can ALL do chores....you set an good example of how important education is by what you do....you mention that your "family is first", but you owe it to them to take care of yourself first so you're in a better position to care for them....

As for the situation with your mother, I am so sorry....I lost my mom last year very unexpectedly and it is horrendous...not a day goes by that I don't wonder how I can keep going on.....if you need time off to deal with it, so be it....I took 5 weeks off of my job at that time to handle her affairs; it was time well spent and greatly needed....

As for the ex-, well, no words of wisdom there....just take everything one day at time....

Best wishes....:icon_hug:

Wdpizie,

Thanks for replying to my message!!! Yes Nursing has been something I wanted to do forever, but I think that it changing for me because all of the pressure is put on me to raise my children. Their father was arrested for a serious crime and could be put away for many years. I had my two boys with him so I can get into the program faster. Right now I'm almost at the end of my Winter quarter. I took an incomplete with A&P1. I have to finish that class within this year. I'm also a DOR client (Department of Rehab) I receive assistant from them to continue my education. I'm slightly hearing impaired. I think my hearing is getting better. The department told me on Friday that it would be better if I looked into something short term like Radiology Tech. They also told me that I can look into other things that would not be to competitive. I don't know what they were saying about that. I will have to say that I have been confused with what they want from me. As for my mother she is getting worse it's so hard to see her like this. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I will feel the same as you when I have to face that fact that she will no longer be here. She is my only support. I could of been a Circus Clown and she still would of been happy for me. Are you a Nurse?? Please feel free to write me anytime. I would like to make some friends on this webiste. Thanks I will talk to you soon!!

Specializes in Psych, Tele.

You should stop making excuses for yourself. If you want to pursue a career in nursing, then give it your all. We all have negativity to deal with now and again, it doesn't hinder us from pursuing our dreams. You should feel even more so passionate about your career, because you have children to care for, AND you are their role model now!!

I, too, am a single mother. I know how difficult it is to get your school work done, and be there for your child. It isn't impossible! I go to school when my son is in kindergarten, even if that means having class five times a week. It can only benefit you in the end. Your children will one day thank you for giving them a better outlook on life.

You can incorporate your children in your studies. Take them to the park, while you study on the bench. You'd be surprised how much you get accomplished while they are running around with their friends. It will benefit you later that day, when they suddenly fall asleep without you having to ask them to go to bed.

Good luck.

I agree with wdwpixie. If you have older kids, let them carry some of the load. Sometimes us single parents are too easy on our kids because we are trying to make up for things they dont have, but I have caught on that my daughter needs responsibiltity, or I am crippling her.

I too know how you feel as far as your mom goes. My mom died about 1 1/2 years ago from cancer. I am really sorry about your situation. I just always remember, God wont put anything on me that I cant handle. Even when I dont know how, things just work out.

Best of luck to you. Hang in there.

Specializes in Med/Surg <1; Epic Certified <1.
The department told me on Friday that it would be better if I looked into something short term like Radiology Tech. They also told me that I can look into other things that would not be to competitive.

I know that the program is sometimes less competitive to get in to as there are less people applying, but where I live, it's still a 2 year program much as the ADN program I attend. So I guess if you got in sooner, the time it takes to get out of school would be less overall...but if you won't be happy in that career, then it's not time well-spent, particularly when you have other challenges....on the other hand, there are some good aspects about that career, also....

Are you a Nurse??
No, I am in my second semester of an ADN program....it's not easy, but this was something I worked towards for 2 years; my youngest child is off to college, and the timing just worked out pretty well for me. There are days when I think I had to be absolutely nuts to think I could do this, then others when I know that I need to get through this....

I don't know the ages of your children, but as for the ex-, it sounds like your kids really need a positive role model at this point in your life. Make sure whatever you do from this point forward is in an effort to better life for yourself and your kids....distance yourself from that situation and get your kids mental help if they need it....but move on and up....it'll be the best overall....don't use it as part of the excuse for not doing what you need to do....that sets a pretty poor example and we have enough people in the world who point fingers as to why their lives suck....

Your post came across as a little harsh Johnna Quest. There is more than a little difference between having one child to take care of and having 8. Just the thought of having to get 8 children up, dressed, feed and out the door in the morning, makes me break out in a sweat. Just daily living experiences must be exhausting, much less dumping the added responsibility of nursing school on top.

Carveronica, I commend your descision to getting into school and doing the best you can. Only change your course action if you would be happy doing something else, and if after careful consideration, you feel it is in the best interest of your family. I cannot fathom having 8 children and attempting nursing school. That you would even try, makes you a stronger woman than I. My hat's off to you, and I hope that you are able to continue in a direction that is beneficial to you and your children.

ditto to this whole post. I really did think the same thing.

Your post came across as a little harsh Johnna Quest. There is more than a little difference between having one child to take care of and having 8. Just the thought of having to get 8 children up, dressed, feed and out the door in the morning, makes me break out in a sweat. Just daily living experiences must be exhausting, much less dumping the added responsibility of nursing school on top.

Carveronica, I commend your descision to getting into school and doing the best you can. Only change your course action if you would be happy doing something else, and if after careful consideration, you feel it is in the best interest of your family. I cannot fathom having 8 children and attempting nursing school. That you would even try, makes you a stronger woman than I. My hat's off to you, and I hope that you are able to continue in a direction that is beneficial to you and your children.

Don't give up on yourself! If you need to take a break, then by all means, do it! But if being a nurse is something you've always wanted to do, then keep working toward that goal. Maybe make it a goal to reach in 5 or 10 years? That way it won' t seem as overwhelming right now.

I've heard wonderful things about the Rad Tech programs. They're very challenging and might be a good alternative for you. Look into it!

Good luck to you!

Johnna quest,

I woke-up to this response this morning and read your reply!! I thank you for this because I need that extra push. I do need to stop all this madness and try to take everyday as it comes and try to raise my children with a role model attuitude. I want to thank you

TexasAngel,

I'm so sorry about your Mother. I have been trying to help my mother as much as I can, she said they tried to give her dialysis three times and she just couldn't do it. She requested to leave that hospital and go back home. All my siblings have been helping her as much as they could. I think since she has CHF and 12% of her kidney's are working we really don't know how long she has. I heard it could be a 3 months or 1year, but I know that she will need to be bathe and watched 24/7. Well, I have decided that I will continue going forward with my BSN. I will have to keep jumping over life's hurdles. I can't see myself doing anything but nursing right now. I know I enjoy working and taking care of people. I also know that the perks are not bad either. Thanks so much for your reply and I hope I can talk to you again and make as many friends that I can from this site. :thankya:

+ Add a Comment