Dealing with personal prejudices?

[purplepanda]

I really want to work in L&D when I graduate... or really, anywhere in the women's/children's field. My only hesitation is, I have very strong opinions about teen/single moms. As a young woman who has placed a baby for adoption against every selfish desire of my heart, I have a pretty hard time being tolerant and understanding of many young girls who just decide to keep "their" baby. I've kindof developed an attitude of "Well if I could do it, anyone can do it." I'm a little bit afraid that, despite my best efforts, some of that will come out in dealing with the inevetible teen parent situation.

What do you do to set aside your personal prejudices and serve the teen/druggie/irresponsible/whatever new mom with love and understanding?

[Calzonan RN]

I've had to deal with this myself. When I first started in L&D I had a 17yo G3P2 patient, whose mother was all excited that her daughter was having another baby. I really had to bite my tongue and look at the whole situation. These people had different values than I did. It was very sad, but it was their life, their choice and at least she had her mom supporting her. My best friend is adopted and I've always thought that was the most selfless thing a woman could do, put her baby up for adoption, give it the chance for a better life from parents who really want a child. That being said, I have a friend who at 15 had a baby and decided to keep it. At 17 she had another baby, and then married the daddy at 18. She just graduated nursing school with me and her baby is now 18. It was a rough life for my friend, she divorced the baby's daddy, it took her 10 years to get her RN, but she did it and she raised her kids well. Her daughter just graduated high school, with honors, and will go on to college.

Recognizing your bias is the first step, then just try and make a positive impact on your patients lives. Give that young girl the skills she'll need to be a good mom, encourage her to bond with her baby, if she feels confident in being a mom, she'll be a better mom. You can make a difference by teaching her how to care for her baby.

[talaxandra]

I think you've made the best first step by identifying your prejudice, something most of us fail to do because it's so confronting. That you've then felt strong enough to post about your concern, and to also be able to reflect on your feelings in light of some of the posts here (particularly those by members who've had positive experiences), bodes well for you as a practitioner.

You say you want to work in women's and/or children's medicine - if you think L+D will be too hard you could look at other areas within those disciplines. Alternatively, you could give L+D are go and if you find it's too hard transfer out. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

again, thanks for a place to look at what we believe and how it affects our practice.

panda, you are wise to think this through. no doubt you will be an excellent nurse no matter where you may go!

in a happier response to calzonan, the pt i respect the most one one i never met. while i cared for her truly beautiful, red-cheeked 9 pound newborn son in the newborn nursery, she was sequestered on the gyn floor. this 32 yr old married mother of two pre-schoolers was giving this child up for adoption. he was the product of a brutal stranger rape. she knew she couldn't raise him, but had the courage and love to give him a chance at life. the adoptive parents had to wait through fostering and paperwork to take him home, so they could only visit and look thru the nursery window (pre-hipaa). the look of longing and love on their faces brought tears to my eyes. so somewhere in florida is surely a handsome well-loved 16 year old boy..thanks, ma'am, wherever and whoever you are.:heartbeat:yeah: