So I ran into an old neighbor the other day. He asked what I was up to, and when I said going to school to be a nurse (doing pre reqs) he leered at me and said, "You can be MY nurse!" Ick.
And it's been bugging me ever since. I just kind of ignored it at the time and asked what his kids were doing, but I keep wondering how I could have handled it better. And also, is this a daily thing nurses deal with? Weekly? Monthly?
On the other hand, I told an acquaintance of mine the same thing, and when she answered "you could be MY nurse" I felt validated and happy. So maybe I was just reading too much into it the first time. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't mistake the leer and once-over that accompanied it.
So anyway, my question to the universe of nurses is, how common is this? And what different ways do you deal, especially if you live in a smaller town and have to see the same people all the time? If you do run into your acquaintances and neighbors working, are you the one who gives them the sponge baths or whatever they are fantasizing about? Or do you get to pass them over to someone who doesn't know them?
Ugh I deal with this in primary care too sometimes. I actually refused to do a physical on a patient once because he was so inappropriate, not only hitting on me, but asking where I live, what my hours are, and so on. Nobody else was available to do his physical on that day so I just documented why I didn't do it and told him he had to come back for a full physical on another day with another provider, knowing full well that he wasn't likely to come back. I don't feel the least bit guilty.
Now if the person has dementia or an intellectual disability or something like that I am more forgiving. However, blatant sexual harassment (or any kind of harassment) is inexcusable. It's not my fault if someone gets sub-par care because they couldn't behave appropriately with a female provider.
You can sexually harass women and be president apparently, but you can't sexually harass women and be my patient!
When someone I know is having surgery, we ask up front if they have any preferences in who recovers them. One of my wife's friends requested me as her nurse post hysterectomy. I have arranged my own surgeon, anesthesia provider, and recovery nurse for a procedure.
I have also not been offended when a coworker requested a different nurse for recovery because it is all about the patient. So yes, if someone requests you it is an honor and you can accept.
The second issue is people, usually men, who act inappropriately. Either the nurse shuts them down or in a few cases we have reassigned a male RN to care for them. We had one guy who would masturbate when he had a female nurse but stop as soon as I took over care.
When someone I know is having surgery, we ask up front if they have any preferences in who recovers them. One of my wife's friends requested me as her nurse post hysterectomy. I have arranged my own surgeon, anesthesia provider, and recovery nurse for a procedure.
I have also not been offended when a coworker requested a different nurse for recovery because it is all about the patient. So yes, if someone requests you it is an honor and you can accept.
The second issue is people, usually men, who act inappropriately. Either the nurse shuts them down or in a few cases we have reassigned a male RN to care for them. We had one guy who would masturbate when he had a female nurse but stop as soon as I took over care.
So ick! Thank you for all your perspective and help!
So I ran into an old neighbor the other day. He asked what I was up to, and when I said going to school to be a nurse (doing pre reqs) he leered at me and said, "You can be MY nurse!" Ick.
And it's been bugging me ever since. I just kind of ignored it at the time and asked what his kids were doing, but I keep wondering how I could have handled it better. And also, is this a daily thing nurses deal with? Weekly? Monthly?
On the other hand, I told an acquaintance of mine the same thing, and when she answered "you could be MY nurse" I felt validated and happy. So maybe I was just reading too much into it the first time. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't mistake the leer and once-over that accompanied it.
So anyway, my question to the universe of nurses is, how common is this? And what different ways do you deal, especially if you live in a smaller town and have to see the same people all the time? If you do run into your acquaintances and neighbors working, are you the one who gives them the sponge baths or whatever they are fantasizing about? Or do you get to pass them over to someone who doesn't know them?
It is not about being a nurse, in the end. It is about being a woman. You learn to pick you battles, you learn not to entertain slobbering guys, and you learn to trust that icky feeling in your gut.
In this patient satisfaction age, if soft measures don't stop them, I say "that makes me very uncomfortable. I'm sure you don't mean it in an inappropriate way, but it's feeling a bit creepy, so let's not go there again." Pretty direct but respectful.
Then the big guns come out. "I'm not interested, and when you speak to me that way I will leave the room." Even if he's in pain/FOS raise the rails and walk out. He'll hit the bell, so notify your charge about what is going on. You should get support from your coworkers on all of this! They may send in a COB, or a male to reinforce the message. You may want a chaperone when you go in, or maybe reassignment will fix the problem. I'm old and cranky, and would have no problem taking over a turdy patient for our newer nurses.
Jmoneyhoney92
9 Posts
preach!