My employer constantly calls me in on my days off, and it's making me want to lose it. I don't mean that they just call and say "can you come in" and I have to say no. I mean, they keep on calling and harassing me and texting and telling me how much they NEED me to come in. It's every freaking time I have a day off, and I'm sick of it. I end up working overtime that I don't want week after week.
Today, inevitably, I called in sick because I am EXHAUSTED and my body can't take this (I'm no spring chicken). Well, my supervisor got a big attitude with me and continued to text me during the day and tell me that she needs me to come in. I finally put my foot down, and she catches an attitude and tells me that I need a doctor's excuse. Unbelievable! The favors I do for these people, and this is how they act.
When I called in sick, I called in with more than enough time for the charge nurse to find a replacement, and guess what she did...she decided that the next shift would "just get by" and she didn't call anyone in. I've seen it happen before on my own shift, and the attitude appalls me.
Our "self scheduling" is a joke, because they change everything that you put in anyway. They don't schedule enough nurses, and then when our patient census goes up by two or three, we're already maxed out on patient assignments and have to call someone in. God forbid they should assign anyone less than a huge patient load.
I love my patients, but this crapola is making me dread going to work.
Your manager can't require a doctor's excuse just because. That should be in policy under what circumstances, or when. Usually it is after a set number of days calling in. Don't answer texts or calls. My manager and supervisor have their own ringtone on my phone ("suspense" on the iphone!). Many years ago, my sister would explain to her manager that she could not come in because she just had a nice alcoholic beverage! But there is no need to give any explanation. No is sufficient.
Giving in just enables them. It is sad, but if they have enough troubles with staffing/workloads, then perhaps they will change something.
Try saying no sometimes working in home care. Especially the no call no shows where there was suppose to be someone at the clients home a half an hour ago and the person that is suppose to be there does not call in and work can not get a hold of them.
Our agencies policy is there are set caregivers on a clients schedule. They just will not send just anyone over to a clients home. So when they call you and you know its you or nobody you think if at all possible you better go because the poor person does need someone. Or its you need to relieve the poor care taker that just spent 8 hrs there and they want to get home.
Hard situations then to just give a no. Besides I keep telling myself someday it will be me that is not being relieved and praying to the Lord hoping someone will have compassion and come to the rescue
Learning how to say "No" and stick to it was probably one of the hardest lessons for me to learn in 36 years of Nursing.
Even when I got to where I could say it, I would add an explanation: "Sorry, no, I have company coming for dinner."
It finally dawned on me-They. Didn't. Care. About. My. Plans. So, I learned how to say "Sorry, no". And if they persisted? "No". That's all.
Setting limits is very liberating. My job knows that unless I'm on call, my work phone goes off at 5pm and goes back on at 8am. Sometimes people forget and call anyway. Their problem, not mine. I respond when next my phone goes on.
Occasionally, I get asked to pick up an extra back-up on call shift (we do 4-5 a month, not a big deal). Sometimes I say yes, sometimes no. I do it knowing its MY choice, not theirs.
We were discussing the requests for picking up extra shifts today at lunch.
Although it's not easy to say no, consider this: if you make an error because you are exhausted from working extra, management will NOT have your back. You're still accountable even though someone may have laid the guilt trip and you agreed.
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
Self preservation is a personal responsibility. No one will do it for us.
I have a rule I live by. It's not for everyone but it works well for me: You will never hear me say "Can you believe what this person did to me?". If I feel the need to rant, it's more likely to sound like "I can't believe I let them do this to me." See the difference?
Your manager, for whatever reason, has decided you are a target for her desperate attempts to pass the buck to someone else when there is a staffing issue. I don't know why, but that's what I see from what you said. Perhaps you are a bit passive in nature and she just see's you as an easy victim. Perhaps there was a miscommunication and she believes you truly want as many hours as you can get (even if this is not the case, she'll claim it was).
Or, like most people who act as she is, knowingly crossing boundaries and not caring, perhaps she's gotten away with it for so long she feels entitled to keep doing it. Bullies (I'm calling her that because she is knowingly stepping over boundaries) like to camp on the wrong side of the line in the sand. Once they've been there for a long while, it's hard to convince them to move on. So, as things stand right now, there are two outcomes that all this can lead to if you continue on this road: You either submit to her whims and forsake your own health (and social life, and patient safety and and and) or you get burnt out and quit (probably at a time not convenient for you, and perhaps not in a way where you'll have a good reference). I recall, you've already mentioned calling off one day because you were exhausted from the OT and problems you're facing. Not good. That's just the tip of the iceberg, it'll get worse.
I'm a firm believer in the wisdom of "Choosing your battles." In my opinion, this issue *is* something to go to war about. Your manager is not dealing with the staffing issues of the unit and is trying to make you her scapegoat in her process to put a daily band aid on things. What she is doing is harassment. When you say you can not come in, there is no debate to have over it yet she pushes you. And when you had to call off, you were met with an over reaction to it the next day you saw her.
If you read and understand nothing else from my post, understand this: This is not the time for you to be naive. While she is trying to bully you into making her staffing problems better for her, she and the facility will never be "thankful" for anything you do. Do not believe for a second you are earning chips to cash in at a later time or becoming a valued employee they dread losing. In their eyes, the time and a half payment makes you square with the house. So, what happens if the bullying continues and you end up being fatigued and start having attendance issues of your own (you called off once already)? Better yet, what if you make a med error because you are fatigued? Lets go even further, what if a patient dies from said med error?
Do you think for a second this manager is going to stand up and defend you? Nope.
"Yes your honor, I have been demanding OT from my nurses and caused them to become so fatigued, they were unable to focus. I take full responsibility for Mrs. Smith's death. I accept whatever punishment you hand me with a heavy heart and an apology to the victim's family."
Phfffft
Ever consider being a mechanic? Cause, if anything happens, you're gonna get a nice close up view of a bus's underbelly. Care to change the oil while you're down there?
The facility and your manager will tell you the same thing: "It is your responsibility to be in safe working condition upon clocking in. If you were unsafe to deliver care, you should have declined the OT." And they are right.
So take responsibility before anything drastic happens. You have to make it clear you reserve the right to say "no" to overtime and that being bullied when you choose to do so is inappropriate (and you have to show them you have an answer for it when it happens).
This is my suggestion: Face up to the bully. Do so with grace, tact and an eye on protecting your patients, yourself and your license. Like I said, people like your manager like to make camp on the wrong side of the line in the sand. The sooner you let her know she can't camp there, the easier it will be for her to swallow it and the better off you will be.
1. Go to HR first. Tell them the issue using just facts and leaving emotion out of it. Make it clear you are being harassed when you decline OT and her way of correcting you for a call off is inappropriate. Perhaps show them your phone log and how often she is calling on days off, save a message or two. Say you are a happy member of the care delivery team and wish to remain just that, but the bullying will lead to further issues if not dealt with. Make your wishes clear, concise and emotion free: "I am allowed the right to decline OT, and it would be unsafe for me to say yes to it every time I am called. I'd like just one phone call when I'm being asked to come in extra, no more. If I choose not to come in, I don't feel I should have to be bullied for it." That's it, doesn't have to be anything more complicated.
2. Face your manager after going to HR. Politely inform her of the same things you told HR. Again, use tact and don't go on the offensive. Make it clear one call is sufficient. When the number of calls exceed this, HR will be notified.
3. Be consistent and follow through with it. If the harassment continues, report it as you said you would. If no good comes of it, then you know the situation is not fixable and your next step is self explanatory.
It is your responsibility to be sure you are safe to deliver nursing care when you punch in. This includes making sure you are well rested. If you can't go in, don't. Again, neither the facility nor your manager will come to your rescue if something happens. Be kind to yourself, and protect your patients by taking this issue very seriously.
Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
Try saying no sometimes working in home care. Especially the no call no shows where there was suppose to be someone at the clients home a half an hour ago and the person that is suppose to be there does not call in and work can not get a hold of them.
Our agencies policy is there are set caregivers on a clients schedule. They just will not send just anyone over to a clients home. So when they call you and you know its you or nobody you think if at all possible you better go because the poor person does need someone. Or its you need to relieve the poor care taker that just spent 8 hrs there and they want to get home.
Hard situations then to just give a no. Besides I keep telling myself someday it will be me that is not being relieved and praying to the Lord hoping someone will have compassion and come to the rescue
A perfect example of employees taking ownership of the employers obligation.
It is great if you really have the time and the interest in working additional shifts. It is a terrific attitude if you are helping to build the business base of this company and expect to profit individually from your efforts above and beyond.
The reality is that the employer made the agreement with the patient, not you.
The employer is responsible and accountable to have an appropriate staff person there, not you.
Yes, the caregiver or the patient may not receive what the company promised them if you do not agree to work, don't own that...you didn't make the promise or sign the contract, your employer did.
If your employer frequently has employees "no showing" for jobs then I am going to question their hiring, and training, and management policies. If that is chronic behavior it is symptomatic of a corporate level illness, IMV.
When you begin your campaign to discipline them not to call you, expect the exact same response you would get from your teenager when you tell her "No." Escalation, escalation, tantrums, even threats. Remain calm. Do not sink to that level. Use the broken record technique-- just repeat, "No, I can't." Do NOT ever say, "I'm sorry, I can't." Women apologize by saying "I'm sorry" many, many more time in a day than men, almost by reflex. You have nothing to be sorry about. "No, I can't," and then hang up. Period. Do it.
You do not owe them an explanation or an excuse. Do not prolong the call by giving them one. Believe me, the minute they hang up the call they'll be calling somebody else without a thought to you.
Well, unfortunately this is what has happened. The management threw a couple of temper tantrums at me last week when I decided to put a stop to this. Management came up to the floor to harass me while I was on shift and tell me that I need to be a team player and that they "really needed me" and that I let them down.
The new schedule came out, and while I wasn't scheduled for OT, my schedule is a total s*** show.
So the lesson here is that there's a price to pay if you really don't want to be called in constantly. It's not just as easy as ignoring calls.
Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..
Try saying no sometimes working in home care. Especially the no call no shows where there was suppose to be someone at the clients home a half an hour ago and the person that is suppose to be there does not call in and work can not get a hold of them.
Our agencies policy is there are set caregivers on a clients schedule. They just will not send just anyone over to a clients home. So when they call you and you know its you or nobody you think if at all possible you better go because the poor person does need someone. Or its you need to relieve the poor care taker that just spent 8 hrs there and they want to get home.
Hard situations then to just give a no. Besides I keep telling myself someday it will be me that is not being relieved and praying to the Lord hoping someone will have compassion and come to the rescue
Have to agree with Toomuch here.
Often, a facility or company who has problems with no call no shows painted themselves into that corner themselves.
The first part of that process often is them being a bit greedy. They run with bare bones staffing, leaving themselves with no one to turn to when something does come up. I've seen this in hospitals, who love to cut PRN staff on a whim. It's also an issue with HH care companies who work very hard to keep everyone part time. Many HH nurses work for multiple employers for this reason. This leads to schedule conflicts for one. It also leaves the company at risk for the nurse quitting without informing them, because they already have the other job anyway.
There is all that, plus there are often disciplinary shortcomings at companies that have no call no shows frequently. Some people in general, nurses included, are going to take however much leash you give them and sometimes more. If they believe there is no risk of disciplinary action, they will do it. Once this personality type is given a chance, they will never be reliable again.
And finally, there is the old saying "You get what you pay for". If the employer is not competitive wage and benefit wise, they won't attract the more respectable workers. That's just common sense, but many employers think they can be the exception to the rule. They cut every corner they can payroll wise to the point that they are always going to be " the second option". This leads to them having to hire anyone and everyone who applies for the job. People with questionable character are bound to make it through the door.
Truth is, attendance issues and chronic no call no shows are like the plague. You have the infected areas, and you have the sanitary areas. It takes action, focus, to keep your area sanitary. Being competitive wage/benefit wise, good hiring policies, having attendance policies in place and enforcing them, being prepared for unexpected events, that's all a lot of work. Some employers can't be bothered and are happy to accept the consequences.
But you aren't obligated to shoulder the blame with them. Me, I refuse to be unreliable myself. That's my part in things, nothing else.
Looking at the bigger picture of this, I see a huge problem with employers that do this. If they are always short handed and they go to call somebody in and someone always goes in, they won't hire more people because they won't think they are short staffed. Then the employees get burned out and quit.
This is an ongoing battle. We had five nurses quit because of this a couple of months ago. Management does not care about us. It's all we can do to get a float when our census goes up. They will not schedule enough staff ahead of time. Meanwhile, we all get told that our attitudes need to improve.
Conqueror+, BSN, RN
1,457 Posts
I refuse to make ANY excuse. It's no because I said no :)