Cut-throad Nurses Even in the ED

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Found out that a new grad nurse that was a neighbor and with whom there had been a previous altercation or two--started with husbands--and it got worse from there--dissed me as a nurse to the manager (This person NEVER worked with me as a nurse, since I've been an RN for quite a long time and she's newly graduated, etc. . .. and she knows darn well that I am pretty sharp.) Apparently this person was asked about me. Someone saw my addy was near this other person's, and b/c this person is sadly insecure, petty, and doesn't like me for silly reasons, she decided to speak ill of me, and thus prevented me from getting the job. How ridiculous. So the position was offered to someone else. But it didn't matter b/c I got offers from a number of places elsewhere for higher salaries and not at a little local community hospital as this, mind you. So, in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal; but it just is so telling of people when they play hateful little games like this.

Some people never learn that what goes around comes around. I've lived to see it many times over the years, and I've never had anything to do with comeuppance, retaliation, or the like. I figure that is NOT my job. It's just that things coming back to roost is built into the universe. Some people learn it and are careful not to play nasty, cut-throat, childish games, while others never learn--even after things come back around to them.

There seems to be no shortage of pridefulness for some folks too. Life is WAY too short--have lost people close to me like many others here. Here's the thing. Between what we do and our real lives, the truth is, there is no place for such nastiness--b/c most definitely life really IS TOO SHORT. I will never understand why people are so prideful and hold on to that mentality.

Meanwhile, I post this b/c this kind of cut-throat behavior seems like it is more common (sadly) in some of the critical care units I've worked and not in an ED. (There are always sad little people that play games at work to try to be the absolute center of attention, and they just hate it if they don't get it.)

But really, of all places, EDs demand strong teamwork. What's more, the nurse manager of the ED should know this; therefore the fact that she decided to give credence to a new nurse as she disrespected someone else (a person with whom she never worked mind you) should have been very telling to her. Such childish behavior is not conducive to teamwork. But the fact that the NM did listen to such a thing and made her decision accordingly tells me that she may not be the best manager with whom a nurse might work.

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I'm sorry you got "dissed" but all you can do is learn from it and move on. And, no, this type of behavior does not belong in any particular unit - It doesn't belong anywhere... You're going to come across people as described above anywhere you go so you have to learn how to deal with it appropriately. Best of luck.

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Specializes in Mental and Behavioral Health.

I saw some show one time where the theme song said something like, "If you want to get away from office politics, go and find yourself a dirty job." Well, I went and found myself a dirty job WITH office politics...NURSING!

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How do you know for sure that this is why you didn't get the job?

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Specializes in ED.

1. I don't see any reputable manager telling you that you didn't get the job because so and so said something nasty about you.

2. Why are you tripping! This is such a blessing and you said it yourself that you have other oppurtunities with better salaries than this one, and you don't have to deal with someone you have problems with.

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My impression is that there could very well be other reasons why you did not get the position. If you want to know for sure though AND you genuinely want to advance to a role like that in the future for career reasons then you should ask the nurse manager.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.
found out that a new grad nurse that was a neighbor and with whom there had been a previous altercation or two--started with husbands--and it got worse from there--dissed me as a nurse to the manager (this person never worked with me as a nurse, since i've been an rn for quite a long time and she's newly graduated, etc. . .. and she knows darn well that i am pretty sharp.) apparently this person was asked about me. someone saw my addy was near this other person's, and b/c this person is sadly insecure, petty, and doesn't like me for silly reasons, she decided to speak ill of me, and thus prevented me from getting the job.

but really, of all places, eds demand strong teamwork. what's more, the nurse manager of the ed should know this; therefore the fact that she decided to give credence to a new nurse as she disrespected someone else (a person with whom she never worked mind you) should have been very telling to her. such childish behavior is not conducive to teamwork. but the fact that the nm did listen to such a thing and made her decision accordingly tells me that she may not be the best manager with whom a nurse might work.

i am sorry that this happened to you... however i believe that this happened to you... teamwork is a buzz word in some work places.... people are people... some allow their emotions to make decisions even if they work as managers... for example, i was denied a job twice (once i had an offer rescinded) in my local ed because one of the people in charge does not like me. and believe me, to this day i do not know why. in fact, i barely knew her until i found her to be the reason i did not get into the er when i graduated (she repeated gossip at my interview and asked me to defend myself among other unprofessional behaviors). so, naturally i was not surprised i did not get the job and have definitely scratched working in that enviroment off of my list of positive career moves.:twocents:

in any case, you have the right mindset to move on... there is a god and so what goes-around-comes-around. besides, people will try and succeed in blocking you at every turn. fortunately, they cannot succeed at stopping you at every turn... stopping is clearly your choice as you have shown!:yeah:btw, i am very pleased to see you so blessed.... out of evil came good things; the heavens poured out to you.... hopefully, i will soon experience the same...! :D

thank you for posting!!!!

-new grad rn heading for an ed out of this area soon!!

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I saw some show one time where the theme song said something like, "If you want to get away from office politics, go and find yourself a dirty job." Well, I went and found myself a dirty job WITH office politics...NURSING!

LOL Too, too true. Thank God it is not always true. Been a nurse for a long time, and I've had the absolute pleasure of working w/some great people/nurses and others that know the true meaning of teamwork and mutal respect.

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How do you know for sure that this is why you didn't get the job?

Got some information. It matters not. Every nasty word we needlessly inflict upon others, regardless of what we "think" our justification (rationalization) is will eventually find it's way back to us, and it will be negative.

To another poster as well: LOL I'm not "trippin" at all. I am seeking to illuminate things that keep our profession, if you would call it that, from truly being a profession. This is NOT professional behavior, but it happens every day--and sadly it happens A LOT in nursing. That is the saddest commentary on it. We should not allow it. In order to discourage this behavior, well, it involves bringing such destructive things into the open and discussing them.

To the other poster as well,. . .to be fair, there was another "reason." if you would call it that. The salary parameters would be a part of it.

1. It is because of overall experience, etc and where I've worked, so the NM was reasonably sure I wouldn't come in that low. 2.It is also, however, because of the negative response of the newer nurse--a person that sadly has repeatedly shown she cannot rise above things--even when others have repeatedly been the first to seek reconciliation and to apologize. I will not discuss the ridiculous details, but her "issues" against me were/are but tempest in teapots, and in reality, my family did not stir the teapot in the first place. Regardless, more than once, for the sake of peace, I reached out to this person. Some people, however, refuse to truly bend or trust the value of striving for humility , etc. Until she learns this, life will continue to be problematic for her. But this is not something you really can MAKE someone learn. It's called having a magnaminous spirit. Some folks get it, and others do not. Some folks dig their heals in and never grow this way--and they reinforce this ulgy, negative pridefulness in others, like their children, for example. Yet there are people that see through them for what they are. Just b/c people are compassionate, it does not mean they don't see. You can be quite compassionate and still see and accept reality.

On the bigger scale, in my mind a lot of this comes down to leadership in nursing. Some NMs believe whatever--whether it be prior to hiring or after hiring. It's a negative commentary for a number of middle and upper nurse "leaders" that they take the subjective bias from certain people in the work place and make decisions on them in a virtual vacuum. They may bounce it off another in their area, but sadly that leader too takes the easy road or isn't strong in the greater sense of leadership. So it still ends up being a decision that they make in a vacuum.

Mostly it is b/c they feel that have to rely on such folks within the setting, no matter what. So they develop this mentality. And really it is b/c they haven't developed or honed their own sense of discernment and insight --they aren't confident in that part of the leadership package, and finally b/c they have not been encouraged to learn the value of striving toward more objective evaluations and feedback. The really great leaders learn these things. Others just rely on fragmented, subjective pieces of information together with their own or other "vacuumed" bias--b/c after all, they figure, "Why rock the boat?" Anyway the NM may feel that she will need this (or these) person/s for whatever, and she can't afford to get on her (their) bad side/s, b/c she/they could fragment the team further. This will reflect negatively on the NM and inhibit her or his potential for further promotion. So, rather, she will appoint her or them as lead/s on committees, where she/they will sit with other cronies just like her, and where she/they will not at all really demonstrate an overall, fair perspective and representation from the team/group as a whole. Thus the non-appointed "others" stay quiet--lest they be perceived as dissenters, for fear of the appointees' retaliation and negative comments to the NM--and what that will ultimately mean for them as more "limited" staff.

Listen, I've been around a long time. I've seen the game played over and over and over. It is quite prevalent in many units. But the great nurse leaders know or at least learn that allowing this to go on, even in the midst of so-called "shared governance,' will ultimately undermine the unit, the team, and the group as a whole. (Of course I am referring to units where "shared governance" amounts to something that really is in name only. It really is restricted, shared governance, where a few really rule along with administration. But whatever. )

While it is true that some leaders learn this or know this, it is also true that some never do. And the units, hospitals, patients, and on a grander scale, the whole of nursing as a profession all pay for it. And this is precisely why I share the whole sad little event. . .and make such further commentaries on it.

We need to be wise to what is going on, and when the opportunity rises, to speak out against it. After all, that is what a truly free society does.

Thanks

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And twinmommy. . .it wasn't that the NM told me that. What? You think she is nuts? Come on. Just remember that it is true what they say. "The walls have ears."

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Well, there you go. Looks like you dodged a bullet by not having to work with a bunch of immature gossipers.

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