When you have a teenager that has given birth in the hospital, and the parents are very insistent about wanting to place the baby for adoption and the teen refuses to sign.
What happens?
Does the mother go with the infant to foster care? Are the parents legally forced to take them BOTH home?
I know that many times the parents end up bringing home the baby, but what happens when the parents simply refuse?
Oh, and if anyone's wondering...my son is doing amazing!! He's a freshman in high school with a great personality and a B average. I also have a daughter and I got married two years ago.
There are happy endings sometimes (if the mom wants a happy ending and she's willing to work for it). I really don't know how you L&D nurses do it though, because I would have been scared to death to let me walk out of that hospital with that baby boy at 16. God I was scared to death and thinking, "are they really going to let me take him home??"
Shanyone
I am so sorry for what you went through.
I think some parents have the mentality that if they come across as "accepting" to the birth of a grandchild from their teen daughter, that another baby will soon come. I have seen that happen so often.
I used to do volunteer work just being an extra ear at a support group for teen mothers and after about 4 months I couldn't do it anymore....teen mothers like you, who struggled, who wanted their babies and was willing to work theirselves to death to take care of them, are the exception with that level of dedication.
What I saw in the group was them saying things like, "Well, it's better to have your children when you are young," or "I raise my baby on my own" (when they are living at home with mom and dad and not paying a cent for anything) or "If you want until you can afford a child you'll never have one...now is best", and they didn't think TWICE about getting pregnant again.
Keep in mind, all of these girls were single, and none of them had fathers involved...it made me so angry to hear them talk like that and it seemed like no amount of counseling from the LCSW did any good at convincing them to make birth control a #1 priority and to stay in school.
I am SO GLAD to hear your story and that things are going well.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Shanyone. I was a teen mother also at 16, but I was married, so it was a bit different for me. I am so sorry for what you went through during this period, and am glad to know you both made it through with flying colors.
I also had a son at 16, and he is fine. I feel that I made the same mistakes with him that any first time parent would make, regardless of age. I also tell them (all of my children), that my life was harder than it needed to be, and that I want them to finish college before starting a family, and be financially able to care for the baby. I tell them how hard it was to go to nursing school with 2 babies in diapers, and a marriage falling apart.
So while teen mothers can do well (as we are proof of), it isn't easy, and not a choice I want my kids to have to make.
this thread reminds me of a nurse who doesn't work where I work anymore. but I met her one time when I worked there as a tech.
This nurse had a baby when she was 16, she quit HS, she separated from her boyfriend (wow that's a surprise).... and no one believed that she would do anything with her life. she proved them wrong!
soon after the baby, she got her GED, went to LPN school, continued school and 2 years later became an RN. Met her DOCTOR hubby there, got married & has a new baby girl.
I admire her so much, because she and I were almost the same age, she a year older than me.
I didn't have a baby at 16
I graduated HS
but I never finished RN until recently........ I feel embarrassed!
justme1972
2,441 Posts
I am so sorry for what you went through.
I think some parents have the mentality that if they come across as "accepting" to the birth of a grandchild from their teen daughter, that another baby will soon come. I have seen that happen so often.
I used to do volunteer work just being an extra ear at a support group for teen mothers and after about 4 months I couldn't do it anymore....teen mothers like you, who struggled, who wanted their babies and was willing to work theirselves to death to take care of them, are the exception with that level of dedication.
What I saw in the group was them saying things like, "Well, it's better to have your children when you are young," or "I raise my baby on my own" (when they are living at home with mom and dad and not paying a cent for anything) or "If you want until you can afford a child you'll never have one...now is best", and they didn't think TWICE about getting pregnant again.
Keep in mind, all of these girls were single, and none of them had fathers involved...it made me so angry to hear them talk like that and it seemed like no amount of counseling from the LCSW did any good at convincing them to make birth control a #1 priority and to stay in school.
I am SO GLAD to hear your story and that things are going well.