Culture Shock & Big Girl Panties - Ch 2

[Julie Reyes]

Follow my journey through nursing school - read Go to Nursing School? NEVER!! Ch 1

I am 43 years old. I have 4 kids - 2 in college, one in high school, and one starting 8th grade. I am on my second marriage, so the 4 kids I mentioned are mine, and my new husband brings in 4 more - 2 out of high school and 2 still at home. We have a lot going on. Football, soccer, track, band - extra-curricular activities for the kids means extra-curricular activities for me. With nursing school starting in the fall, I drop all of my odd jobs and focus on the kids and my one summer prereq course - pathophysiology.

I am floored when I get my book from Amazon - or whatever site I got the textbook from. It is bigger than the family Bible! Anyway, I dive right into my class. Since I live an hour away from the university I am attending, I am doing all my classes online. Nursing school - eline... I am not sure this is the smartest decision I have ever made, but I am not working, and gas is near $4 a gallon at the time. Everything is expensive and we are short on money. With 8 kids - oy - we have to save where we can!

The professor for my patho class is a doctor in the emergency department at the hospital I want to work at when I am done with school. He is really an amazing professor, and I am learning so much in the class. I don't have to study that much, because he is so great at the powerpoints and lectures that are posted. (Unfortunately, this professor is so great, and I am learning so much from his online lectures, that I set myself up for a rude awakening in nursing school!)

Fall is here - the long awaited time to begin my first nursing classes. I have spent an enormous amount of money on the "required" textbooks - most of which I will never use in nursing school at all! I am a little shocked at how unorganized the eline program is. No set due dates, no set exam times. It is a semi-new program for the university, so I suppose they are just working out the bugs. However, the disorganization leaves me in a state of confusion. Adding to my disappointment is the fact that none of the classes are like my patho course!

I dive into my classes (pharmacology, fundamentals, theory) and I drag textbooks to football and soccer games and read when my kids are not playing or... marching/drumming/or anything I should be cheering for. I have no clue how to study - I think I have been "winging it" until now, and from the syllabus for my courses, I am not going to be able to float through these classes anymore. So, I do what I think I should do - I highlight every single word I read...on every page. I should have bought stock in the highlighter company. Um...is it excessive that I have just highlighted all the pictures too - just in case!?!

This is the part where I turn into an insecure whiney brat. How is it that the words in the pharmacology book are written in another language? Well, maybe it is English, but OMG, seriously? I don't have a clue what I am reading. That being said, I have become a thorn in my professor's side. I email all of my professors constantly, begging for clarification, explanations, and "please spell this all out for me" type of emails. I need someone to hold my hand so that I can make it through this!

I have suddenly discovered that this nursing school business is for the birds! Apparently, nurses have to know more than just how to wipe butts and give shots....and it seems that the Board of Nursing is determined to make sure nurses know a lot about, well, everything! It is impossible, right?! With my first exam looming, I have developed intense heartburn and incredible anxiety! I am snippy and snooty with my family - I have no patience for anything or anyone. I am just not cut out for this! How in the heck is nursing school so hard?!?! My first husband was right when he said I am stupid and not smart enough to go to school - just like he always told me. This is really hard - I can't do this! I am FURIOUS that he might be right. I put off my first exam day after day, which is easy since there is not a deadline to take it.

As I stare at the yellow highlighted pages in my pharmacology book, I think, "Just take the stupid exam!" I will never move on if I can't get passed this. I am terrified of it. I have no idea what to expect on it, I have no idea what I should know. What more can I do - I have studied all I can - well, I have read all the pages that didn't make any sense anyway.

I put away my notes and my books and log onto the site to take the exam. One question after another "you gotta be kidding me" question. Um, I don't think that they took these questions from MY pharm book. By the end of the exam, I am in tears. I have no clue what just happened, but apparently, I got the wrong textbook. I submit my test and stare at the screen. My score comes up and I got a 58. OMG, I failed! I close my eyes and put my face in my hands. I am at a loss.

I send a plethora of panicked emails to my professor. One after another, and another. I am not ever going to be able to get this - how the heck am I supposed to understand any of this...this STUFF??? I have NO clue how to study! My professor for this class is NOT teaching me! My patho professor was so good and this professor is ... well, is NOT my last professor!

I whine the rest of the night to my husband, who patiently listens to me and then tells me for the first of hundreds of times, "If it were easy, everyone would do it". My kids can't believe I failed an exam, and I mentally see them slapping high fives to each other for all the times I have scolded them for any time they have ever received a poor grade (although they really were NOT doing that). Ugh, now what?!

The next day I am still wallowing in my pity party when I received a reply email from my professor, who has apparently had enough of my "poor, poor me" helpless attitude. "Dear Julie, it's time to put your big girl panties on and get down to business" ("to defeat the Huns" - I always have to add those words when someone says that. Is it just me or do you do that too?).

In hindsight, that was the BEST thing anyone ever told me! She totally snapped me out of my pit of despair! Somehow, I was able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and figure out this studying thing. I connected with others in the eline nursing program who helped me learn how to study and work through the coursework (God bless you Dawn, Rhonda, Erin, Lesley, Erica, Sarah, John, and Annie). I threw out the highlighters and I quit believing I could NOT do it and started believing I WOULD do it.

I was able to finish my first semester with 2 A's and 1 C (it is hard to come back from a failing exam grade)! Hey - if Mulan can do it...! Somehow - those seemingly harsh words in the email from my professor made me look inside myself and find something I never knew existed - resolve, willpower, and endurance; the ability to overcome adversity and rise to the occasion - a skill that is needed by every successful nurse. I learned to quit whining and start working toward my goal. The road to nursing is hard, and it is a road less traveled, but like my husband says - it is was easy, everyone would do it.

....and I realized, this "big girl panty" thing - it rocks!

My journey begins!

For the rest if the story, see

Go to Nursing School? NEVER!! Ch 1

Culture Shock & Big Girl Panties - Ch 2

Pretzels, Puppies, and Physical Assessment Ch 3

Tales from the Crypt....uh.... I mean Clinicals. Ch 4

Give me a BREAK!!!! Ch 5

RN: Judge and Jury Ch 6

Virtual Reality Ch 7

Avoid Kids at ALL Costs! Ch 8

The End of the Tunnel...Holy Cow - is that LIGHT?! Ch 9

[Tommo446]

I'm a recent grad and just accepted my first position in a correctional facility. Your story was great. I was laughing while I read "How hard could it be." And "Culture shock. " I went through the same thing I aced my prerequisite classes by studying a fair amount and geared up for my first nursing semester. I studied the same way and when I took the first nursing exam thought to myself what the hell just happened? I got a 67.... I don't get 67s I'm an A/B student! I studied an entire day for this exam! Haha looking back I laugh. An entire day who was I kidding? I quickly realized that to get a C you better clear a week! But after all that I worked hard, made it out of that first semester, and ultimately graduated. It doesn't get any easier after that first semester. You only get tougher. You have the right attitude you'll do great! Best of luck in your up coming endeavors.

Tom O'Sullivan RN

[TC3200]

Quote

Read, read, and read it again until you understand what you read so well you can teach it

^Essentially that, and "I never touch the books, I just go over and over the Powerpoints" was what the successful students in my particular cohort were doing. Another thing they did, definitely against academic policies but it sure did work for them, was team up and complete what should have been individual projects and computer simulation exercises as a team. I on the other hand, exhausted myself trying to be the good little girl who works reads and studies everything day and night, never cheats, until the end of 1st year when I said to Hades with this. In the end, everyone sits for the same NCLEX-RN so that should weed out the ones who really didn't learn, imo.

In the portions of it that I had nailed down solid, I'd use that go-over-and-over until thoroughly understood method. BUT, after I'd boiled that down to where I could teach it, I'd be absolutely livid at how much extra time and effort it cost me to TEACH MYSELF all the dang time. I'd be swearing furious, because AFTER I'd done all that, I could clearly see rules of thumb like "90% of the time, it's this, and maybe another 8% is that, and then just 2% of the time, it's something else." I understand that schools are teaching a decision-making process. But there's no need to make every new class of students reinvent the wheel. I just thought it was the MOST inefficient and poorly designed curriculum I'd ever seen, after years of real career experience in (non-medical) work world. Students were paying for education, and instead of getting it, were having to essentially muddle through on their own. If any other curriculum failed out 50% or more of students, the instructors and administrators would be held accountable for that, and would definitely not be praised. Nursing seemed to have a rather bigoted stereotype of who they wanted to allow to be a nurse. Or maybe it just looked that way to me since I prefer the less uptight, more teamwork, more "male" science and tech world.

People keep telling me that I should go back to nursing at a different school, but having been dragged through manure once, I have had enough of it.

[Imnokie4now]

I read the tips that you posted. Thank you.

[Imnokie4now]

Hi. I'm 47 and just starting the nursing program this coming spring. This is my second career and it has always been my dream to be a nurse. My children are grown and out of the house so I am seizing the opportunity to return to school. So far I am an A student but I have heard that I should not expect to maintain my GPA through nursing school no matter how much I study. Thank you for the study tips and resources.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

Agree with this TC3200. I had an awful instructor my last year. Her favorite phrase was "this is a self teaching course." At one point I actually responded "why are we paying you to teach then?" Kind of surprised looking back on it that I didn't get some kind of discipline for that. Teaching critical thinking skills is one thing, but not teaching at all is something entirely different. I still think it's a miracle that all of still in that last year not only passed the course but passed the NCLEX as well.

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

Imnokie4now said:

Hi. I'm 47 and just starting the nursing program this coming spring. This is my second career and it has always been my dream to be a nurse. My children are grown and out of the house so I am seizing the opportunity to return to school. So far I am an A student but I have heard that I should not expect to maintain my GPA through nursing school no matter how much I study. Thank you for the study tips and resources.

Some people are REALLY smart and can retain information MUCH better than I can. I sometimes felt like I needed to be hit with a brick in order to maintain the info in my head. Expecting an "A" in nursing school is not unrealistic, however. There ARE people who maintain a 4.0. I actually graduated cum laude, which is not half bad - but there were those people who graduated with me that did have a 4.0, and I just was floored by their abilities!

You get out of nursing school what you put into it, I guess. You can do this - if this is your dream, and you have the opportunity, the sky is the limit! My best to you! Please keep me updated on your success!!! I hope my journey inspires you to reach your goals - and maybe laugh a little along the way!

[lovelyb26]

I literally searched to see this, I read the first blod about 3 weeks ago, and i'm glad I did. This is so helping me to keep on track and go for it.

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

lovelyb26 said:

I literally searched to see this, I read the first blod about 3 weeks ago, and i'm glad I did. This is so helping me to keep on track and go for it.

That is AWESOME!!! Keep on KEEPING ON!!