Since I was a child, I have been a cryer. I cry when I am stressed, or overwhelemd with thoughts. It has brought me alot negative remarks over the years, but eventually I realized that this is a way that I releive my stress.
I am a new nurse. I have been off orientation since January. Occaisionally I will be so overwhelmed at work that I just need to cry for a while. The hard part is I look like I did cry for the rest of the shift.
The other day, my patient needed a RR. It was a big ordeal for me, especially since I felt guilty that I could have intervened earlier. She is doing ok, but not sure what her prognosis is. I cried though, and in front of many many people. I tried to hold it back, but so many people were asking me questions and the doctor was yelling at me (my great manager talked to her later in the hall about it). And I had to transfer the patient to ICU with teary eyes. It was humiliating. I came back to the unit and cried some more. Luckily (I am really thankful), the rest of my patients were ok, another nurse peaked in on them for me, and we had students who were taking care of the meds for some of the patients as well. Everyone saw me with red tearry eyes, and I was puffy for the rest of the shift (10 more hours). After having some time for myself and some deep breaths, I was slowly able to get back out on the floor.
I know what happened last shift was a learning experience. I will know better (hopefully) next time and it will process in my brain much better. I am a perfectionist in a sense, and I am hard on myself, which adds to the emotions, and adds to how much I will cry.
I do eat healthy, at least try to... I excercise (almost daily) and I do yoga (2-3 times a month).
Is anyone else the type of person who cries in stressfull situations? Does anyone have panic issues with new stressful situations? I wish at times I could be a stronger person. A good cry is good for me at times, but other people look down at you-thinking you are weak. At work, it is hard to cry without anyone noticing.
My Dad died my 6th day of nursing school. I had lived with him and was his primary caregiver, as he had Alzheimer's. I only missed class the day of the funeral. I told my instructors to ignore me if I sat there silently weeping,,,which I DID,,,and they DID. I tear up when seeing a squirrel squashed in the road, when hearing the song at the end of Lassie, when the elderly man in my care at work says something that reminds me of my Dad. There are things worse than being soft-hearted,,I just wish I didnt cry at work. A long time ago,,in a career far, far away, my supervisor told me after one of my crying jags that I would never be promoted if I couldnt get my emotions under control. She's now demoted and I've moved on to a more rewarding career.
Jut out your jaw. According to Philadelphia psychotherapist Larina Kase, "there is some evidence pushing your jaw forward interferes with the tearful response."
Use breathing exercises. For example, inhale while counting to six, hold for four counts, exhale for six. Try other counts if these don't work for you.
Chew gum or nibble on a snack. "It's physiologically quite difficult to cry when you are chewing something," Kase says.
Sipping water also can help.
Focus on something tangible outside yourself, such as a colorful poster or the aroma of your coffee.
Do something physical, such as climbing stairs or push-ups against the wall of your office. "This will burn off stress hormones and raise endorphin levels," says Debbie Mandel, a stress management expert, author and radio host in Lawrence, N.Y.
Use aromatherapy to calm yourself. Lavender and vanilla are common de-stressants, Mandel says.
Don't obsess on "not crying"--it might make it more likely to happen. If tears are coming, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or say you have other business to attend to.
If you wind up having a good cry in the bathroom, here's what you can do to hide that fact: Dr. Thomas Bournias, an ophthalmologist with Northwestern University's Ophthalmic Institute, recommends using "Refresh Tears," which are lubricant eye drops with no preservatives to help redness and irritation. To counter eyelid swelling, use cold metal spoons. "Run spoons under cold water and hold them over your eyes for a couple of minutes," Bournias says. "Keep dipping them in cold water and putting them back on. This helps constrict vessels in the eyes and the swelling in the eyelids goes down."
I cry when I am overwhelmed or moved by something emotionally. Heck just a few months ago I was watching LOTR return of the king, and cried once again when it got to the part when Marion got to fight with his friends even though others told him that he couldn't. Even cried when I took my son to see the Iron Giant.
Nooo...the tearjerking part is when Elrond is explaining to Arwen how miserable her life will be in the world of men and they show her mourning a dead-grey haired Aragorn. The picture then fades to a crypt in Aragorn's form as Arwen still sobs. Almost as bad as Kenobi's half-tearful confrontation with Anakin on the lavabanks of Mustafar.
So if I can bawl my head off during Revenge of the Sith, why can't I cry when I'm stressed like everyone does!! [:smiley_ab]
For some reason, it helps if I bend my neck back and look at the ceiling. I wonder, if we allowed ourselves to have a good cry weekly, if that would help with preventing the crying spells at work? I like to rent a good chick flick, that will get the tears flowing.
Thanks for the links, Pumpkin! I will look at those.
I know there are worse things than crying. It is just that crying impedes me from doing my work. And sometimes, it takes me a while to get back into multitasking. I have been struggling lately with critically thinking, and have been making a few big mistakes...... I am learning, but at what cost?
When I come across an issue, I talk to other nurses, but they sometimes do not have the time to give me the best anwer. I talk to the residents, and I realize I cannot depend on them, because they are learning too. Then, Ill go and do my own thing, and it ends up being wrong. I am trying to figure that out now.
Ive been off of orientation now for 4 months, and recently, every day is more nerve wrecking than the next. Im so tense for most of my 12 hour shift, that I can barely chat or relax with patients or coworkers.
And I do deep breath, Ill take the stairs up-6 flights, to releive stress, I eat well, exercise, all of that.....
Oh, and I cry in LOTR as well, even just when they are playing the theme music, if I am feeling especially emotional.
I can totally relate to you. I'm a cryer too. I feel that if I cry I was able to relieved my stress. If this is how you relieve your stress, I don't see why it would be wrong. I think letting it out is always better than keeping it in. I guess it's just like pressure if you don't let it out sooner or later it's going to explode and that can't be good. I don't think anyone know you better than you know yourself so don't let other people negative comments get to you. As for me, the best way for me to relieve my stress (other than crying) is to talk to my close friend (even though they are in different major), you will always find them very supportive and assertive.
Wow it is nice to know I am not the only one with this problem. Yes when I watch a tv show or movie if there is something remotely tear jerking I cry. When I am really really happy I cry tears of joy.
I am still a nursing student and I have definitely during a clinical snuck into the clean utility room or bathroom for a second to cry. I have only had two instructors who had a talent for making me cry so far. I try not to be such a perfectionist and am working not beating myself up too hard when I make a mistake or fall short of the goals I set for myself. I am going to try to checking out those links. I find it so embarssing when I start crying in front of people and i try not to but sometimes I just can't hold it back. Thanks guys.
Specializes in Occupational Medicine, Orthopedics.
Oh my gosh! I am in the same boat! Just this Friday I was an emotional wreck! I'm not exactly sure what set me off either. Sometimes it just comes on without warning. But then it's a matter of mind over matter the rest of the day. If anyone tries to ask me what's wrong... look out, here come the tears! I have to look away so that they can't see my face. But then I can't shake the emotion! It's so frustrating. Yes, like others have posted here, I feel that I come across as "weak", or "immature", and I've always been this way through my 42 years.
What to do... what to do...
I tell myself to grow up, but I am grown up! I tell myself I'd rather be this way than be someone without feelings (and we all know some of those). But the truth is, I don't want to be emotional, period.
I figure at least when I'm good at my job someday, I will be less likely to cry at the drop of the hat.
Specializes in Labor and Delivery, Surgical/ Ortho.
I am so glad that I am not the only one!!! I do this too, when I'm angry, frusterated, or sad. I even cry at Adam Sandler movies, and that's just pathetic. If I see someone else cry, I do too. We have a dog that was a stray and was abused and sometimes I think about what he went through and I just start bawling. My son tried out for atheletics today and didn't make and was crying, which made me cry as well. I am glad that I am able to react in some way, I just wish it wasn't like this. I will try that rubber band thing. I start my first nursing job in June and am sure I will need it!!!
OH this thread has been sooo great to read. I too am a crier. It's funny because most people see me as a very confident, strong person and I am in many ways (ah baggage left over from childhood trauma) but at the deepest level I am a VERY sensitive person. I am in third semester of nursing school and have cried in clinical one time when, on my first med day, my pt. had been discharged and my instructor gave me a new med assigment that was alos a new admit and had upwards of 20 meds (alot for a 1st semester student who had never even used the Pyxis before!). I cried right in front of her and said "oh my gosh I am going to kill someone!" I also cried once in my OB rotation when we had a demise (this event reminded me of a personal experience but I think it was appropriate at the time). I also cried in front of my entire unit (L&D) when my NM yelled at me in front of all the staff for something that I didn't even do (and she knew it but later told me I caught the brunt because I was 'there', not professional but whatever on that). That situation was terribly embarassing.
I have cried during several deliveries (once the mom and dad start I usually can't help myself) and I know that may make me appear unprofessional but I usually just tell the family the truth. That the birth of a baby is a wonderful miracle EVERY time, even if it isn't your baby. I try to embrace that emotional side of me. It's one of the reasons I wanted to be a nurse in the firts place.
I'm a crier, too! I worry about what will happen when I start clinicals, lol. I'll carry a bottle of Visine with me at all times,I'm sure. The rubber band idea is great. Haven't tried that yet. Also, when I get flustered or emotional my face gets red. And I'm a pale girl so it's pretty noticeable and gets comments. I usually just laugh it off- can't do anything else about it!
If you feel a storm of tears coming on and you need to hold it together for a few minutes before going to a private area, squeeze your b u t t cheeks together. It not physically possible to cry and squeeze at that the same time. It has saved me a few times.
DTC
61 Posts
My Dad died my 6th day of nursing school. I had lived with him and was his primary caregiver, as he had Alzheimer's. I only missed class the day of the funeral. I told my instructors to ignore me if I sat there silently weeping,,,which I DID,,,and they DID. I tear up when seeing a squirrel squashed in the road, when hearing the song at the end of Lassie, when the elderly man in my care at work says something that reminds me of my Dad. There are things worse than being soft-hearted,,I just wish I didnt cry at work. A long time ago,,in a career far, far away, my supervisor told me after one of my crying jags that I would never be promoted if I couldnt get my emotions under control. She's now demoted and I've moved on to a more rewarding career.