Published
Gosh so many to pick from...
The pt who had an aerosol can removed from his rectum for the 2ND! time said to me "Well, I thought to remove the nozzle this time though."
The vented,Trached,pt admitted for a partially obstructed airway , who had succeeded in swallowing an entire set of dentures!
The pt who arrived for emergent surgery for a fractured member. (Yeah, 1st time I heard of it too)Seemingly he had decided after putting a penile ring on it seemed like a plan to then inject his member with cocaine.
The psych pt with a 100 lb tumor that was removed and then decided to never leave the hospital. In an attempt to convince her a homeless pt, very much in need of a bath ,was placed in the same room as her. 2 hrs late the homeless woman came to the desk begging to leave AMA because she "couldn't take her anymore and would rather be on the street ". 18 torturous mths later she was finally discharged to a nursing home which the hospital "paid off " a very tidy sum to take her in.
The patient who was told by his doctor that he should walk more was spotted running outside on the sidewalk with his butt hanging out. Minutes later security and 2 nurse's were spotted from the window in hot pursuit.
The pt who just had open heart surgery whose ex wife called to say "She had a gun and was coming in to kill him ". There was already an order of protection in place prior to this so I spent the shift with a police officer outside my cubicle. (He was actually kinda cute so it wasn't such a hardship)
How about the lady who ripped her eyelids off with a fork? She looked like this. When paramedics came to her house, they said there was a fork on her bed. The patient told the paramedics she thought her dogs did it. The amazing thing was I made small talk with this lady and I asked how she was feeling, any pain, etc. She said "oh...just a mild headache". Uh.....doesn't it hurt around your eyes? you know, where I can see exposed muscle around your eyeballs???
We had a few of those patients who didn't want to leave. One said she wouldn't leave until we gave her $ for first and last months rent, $ for a new fridge, $ for linens, etc.....and she was SERIOUS. We had our social worker talk with her many times. (poor social worker). And the patient said she came from another state to our state because she was told we would give her all that stuff. She was very stubborn and actualy believed she had a right to a bunch of free stuff.Gosh so many to pick from...The pt who had an aerosol can removed from his rectum for the 2ND! time said to me "Well, I thought to remove the nozzle this time though."The vented,Trached,pt admitted for a partially obstructed airway , who had succeeded in swallowing an entire set of dentures!The pt who arrived for emergent surgery for a fractured member. (Yeah, 1st time I heard of it too)Seemingly he had decided after putting a penile ring on it seemed like a plan to then inject his member with cocaine. The psych pt with a 100 lb tumor that was removed and then decided to never leave the hospital. In an attempt to convince her a homeless pt, very much in need of a bath ,was placed in the same room as her. 2 hrs late the homeless woman came to the desk begging to leave AMA because she "couldn't take her anymore and would rather be on the street ". 18 torturous mths later she was finally discharged to a nursing home which the hospital "paid off " a very tidy sum to take her in. The patient who was told by his doctor that he should walk more was spotted running outside on the sidewalk with his butt hanging out. Minutes later security and 2 nurse's were spotted from the window in hot pursuit.The pt who just had open heart surgery whose ex wife called to say "She had a gun and was coming in to kill him ". There was already an order of protection in place prior to this so I spent the shift with a police officer outside my cubicle. (He was actually kinda cute so it wasn't such a hardship)
I used to worked for a place that made light sticks . On my first howloween there the guys handed me a lightstick and told me to (drink it ) ! I declined but was told every howloween the guys will crack open the sticks filter out the glass and DRINK the now glowing stuff inside leter everyone will then go and pee in glowing colors !
I personally didn't see it but one of our doctors talks about when he was in med school and doing his ER rotation, he had a guy come into the ER with one of those ball pit balls stuck in his rectum. A small part of the ball was showing but no one could figure out how to get ahold of it to remove it. As the ER staff was pondering the best way to get it out and strongly leaning towards sending him up for surgery, an OB doc happened to stop in on his way up to his floor. He caught wind of what was going on, left the area and returned a short time later with the vacuum extractor used in deliveries. He applied suction to the small part of the ball that was showing, braced a foot on the table and gave it a yank. Out popped the ball. I've never asked (and never will) what else might have popped out.
I once had a very obese female patient who had been with us for several weeks. This was an inpatient rehab unit and I worked the night shift. She had several large woulds on her buttocks and thighs I needed to dress each am, so I would usually wash her lowers at the same time to save her the pain of going through it all an hour later when the CNAs came in.
This particular am, I was cleaning her peri area and getting in the labial folds when low and behold.... a ring POPPED out and bounced onto the floor. I just casually picked it up, wiped with with an alcohol swab and set it on the bedside table. Neither of us said a word about it. She was not able to reach her peri area so I really do not know how or when that ring found it's hiding spot.
Brian, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 3,695 Posts
Not to long ago someone submitted a thread about a surgeon stapling sterile drapes to a patient. Crazy don't you think?
That had me thinking this morning...
What's the craziest thing you have seen at work? Share your stories...
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