convincing my husband and getting started

travisandjamie01 · Feb 23, 2009

You should meet with a guidance person at the college, they will be able to explain everything. My husband did not want me to go to school, and I have to admit, my first semester was very hard and he didnt take it very well. I am now in my fourth semester and it is just normal now. We had quite a few arguements, but I just let him know how important this was for me. I think he gets it now. Relax and talk to him. He should get it and want you to better yourself.

my4helpers · Feb 23, 2009

Well, I am a stay at home mom to 4. The oldest is 10 and the youngest is 17 months and I have been home for the past 10 years and have enjoyed every minute of it! My husband and I have never ever discussed if I would go to work when the last one is in school because he says it's up to me. Last fall I told him that when the baby gets in school no one is going to hire me because I will have been out of the workforce for nearly 15 years. I have always wanted to be a nurse so I just told him that this fall I am starting. At first he was unsure because he thought I would be gone all day everyday and we could not afford daycare. Once he found it would be two days a week and several hours a night he was OK with it. He just wanted to make sure that we had a back up babysitter in case he would get called out to work. I think you should talk to him again and hopefully he will come around. The only regret I have is not starting sooner. I could have started within the last 5 years and took some classes to get them out of the way, so I will be starting this fall.

KathyRN2B · Feb 23, 2009

I would have to agree to speak with a counselor at the school. They will explain their program and path you would need to take. I would also, as a precautionary measure, check into other nursing programs in your area.

As for the hubby thing, I, too, was where you are now. Having to explain to my DH that school wouldn't be an all consuming thing. I was still able to be home with the kids and I worked my school schedule around them and him as well. He was active duty at the time so I was only able to take a couple classes at a time. During deployments, I wasn't in school at all...but of my own choosing. Bad enough for the kids Daddy was off at war, so I chose to be there for them. Now they are older and I don't have to work around them as much. Once he sees that you will still 'be there', he'll be fine and so will you!

Best of luck :)

1stloveistobeanurse · Mar 14, 2009

I posted here before

I figure it would be ok to post this dilemia here, please feel comfortable to give me your advice. I am married to a wonderful man who I love very much but I am having some issues with my inlaws. The problem is this, my mother inlaw was diagnoise with kidney failure several years ago, and because of her religion she would not accept a kidney transplant. Now the problem is that I practice a different faith then my husband family and for the past 11 years of our marriage I have been teased, publicly, laughed at and completely disrespect by the family, out of the 11 years we have been married they have come to vist us twice. As her health got worse, I came to her, and took care of her as if she was my mother in spite of all the disrespect I received in the past, and you know what I got not a thank you, but I got cursed out and thrown out of the house afterward. Now this it is 4 years later and since this time my inlaws have begun to ask us to move to GA to be closer to them. I for one do not like GA but I did not like the state I had moved to and expressed this to my husband, and finally told him that maybe we can give GA a try. Now we moved to GA and I transferred out from out of a nursing program that I was accepted to to come here, and once we get here, my mother inlaw saids great :yeah: :yeah::yeah:you came here to help take care of me. :zzzzz:banghead: I am not be rude or anything but no that is not the reason I came here, but to keep the peace :bow: I began taking care of her anyway. Now you would think after all this everything would workout :banghead:Nope my father in law curses us out once more, I was thrown out of school becuase he would not allow me to use his computer ( I was taking online classes) and could not take the constanst complaining and working my tail off and being told I was useless afterwards so I moved out. We then lost the home we intial got and was practically on the street. I have no family here with the exception of them, and you would think they would call or say something. No the left us in the street, we went to stay with friends that we just meet until we was able to get back on our feet, neither one of us was working. So now my father in law calls my husband back up and said oh I am so sorry and worried about you :saint: :saint: come back to the house. We get to the house and he said to my husband (mind you it has not been a day yet) I am going to NY watch your mother now my husband looks at me to do it becuase I am the nursing student anyway :banghead: and my father in law left.

Now they have two nurse aids that come to the house one is great with my mother inlaw I personal get the feeling she dosnt care for me, because everytime I am at the house with her, she is constantly calling my father inlaw and telling him things like I broke his computer or his fax machine, I am not even in the same room as the these items.

The other nurse aid they do not like, so now guess who they call to take her place :banghead: (if you are guessing me you are right) I for one do not feel comfortable doing this.

1. They have a daughter who lives in NY and will not come to take care of her and when she is in GA she still dosnt take care of her mother.

2. Her mother dosnt want to go in a nursing home

3. I try not to stress my marriage so I dont complain to my husband about it because I dont want to be the nagging wife.

4. I dont want to stay here in GA becuase I cant stand the place and I am unhappy to the point I am :bluecry1: everyday.

Can some of you guys give me your opinion on this, I want to be supportive and caring but at the same time I am sick of these people taking advantage of me and my husband

1stloveistobeanurse · Mar 14, 2009

I did the previous post because I wanted to give a background on what I am going through.

Do anyone else find nursing school to cause divorces. This is seriously pasting my mind. I am stuck once again, behind this same problem, my mother in law just got out of the hospital again two days ago while bottoming out her blood pressure, and being disoriented because her dementia meds was changed, now what do you think my father in law did once more, if you stated picked up and lefted again you are correct. I have spoken with my husband about this and even though his response if still the same, " I will talk to my dad" nothing comes out of it. Now I have to stay up again all night - I have a midterm in the morning that I cant take, and it looks like once again I will be failing this course as well.

I cant for the life of me figure out how people can be so selfish. Everyone in the house is sleeping including my husband, and with all the studying I have to do, to catch up in this class, he actually got in the bed with his mother and went to sleep.

I dont know what else to do, I am tried of talking and asking and receiving nothing but empty promises, I am at the point I am ready to leave.

afranklin · Mar 14, 2009

You must put Yourself back on the list!!!!!

1stloveistobeanurse · Mar 14, 2009

You must put Yourself back on the list!!!!!

back on what list?

tfleuter, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2009

Put yourself back on the "to do" list of life! While attempting to take care of everyone else around you, you also need to take care of yourself. As you can see, sometimes when we don't look out for ourselves, no one else does either. It may not be as intentional as percieved. Your husband is probably feeling overwhelmed by the situation too, maybe feeling like he is stuck. You say your mother suffers from dementia which is obviously no fun. Your father in law sounds like someone who is frustrated by his circumstances (ailing wife and all) and is escaping whenever he can get a chance. It sounds like everyone is miserable and no one is benefiting with the current arrangement.

I don't believe nursing school causes divorce. I think trying to attempt something as demanding and time consuming as many nursing programs are without the support of the spouse leads to fights, frustration and feelings of being not understood or heard by both parties. Not being in agreement over something that affects both husband and wife might lead divorce, but not nursing school itself.